Fullmetal Fox
by EroSlackerMicha
Summary: Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain something of equal value must be lost. Naruto will be the first alchemist in the elemental nations in over 1,000 years. Join him on his journey to find peace and love. N/A/
1. Chapter 1

Konoha's Alchemist

Fullmetal Fox

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

Chapter 1

_Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's First Law of Equivalent Exchange. _

_In those days, I thought was its one and only truth, how wrong I was._

_ --Naruto Uzumaki "The Fullmetal Fox"_

"KILL THE DEMON!"

Naruto ducked down a manhole to avoid the mob that was bound and determined to kill him on his eighth birthday.

_All I wanted to do was get some food. Is that so wrong?_ The young, dirty, rag wearing blond thought as he stumbled down several long forgotten sewer ways.

His right arm was hanging uselessly at his side, the kunai buried to the handle in his shoulder keeping it that way, and sadly the kunai was out of reach of his good arm.

He couldn't hear the pursuer's anymore and he prayed that meant they had given up.

Looking around he realized he was totally lost and he didn't see a ladder leading up any more.

"Where am I?" he wondered aloud as he shuffle walked further into the darkness, his eyes adjusting faster to the dark, unknown to the boy that they were now bright gold and he could see as if the sewers were exposed to sunlight.

He staggered around, his arm was totally numb, and the lacerations on his back and legs had finally stopped hurting and closed up again. Naruto shuddered as the tunnel he was in was cold.

_Reminds me of the time I was locked in that freezer at the store. If the old man hadn't come to find me I would have been frozen to death._ The blond thought as he continued to walk. He never noticed it as he stumbled and fell thru a illusionary wall.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" was his shriek before he hit the ground, thankfully on his knees and his left arm, which prevented him from hitting his now useless right arm, but sadly, the jarring impact still caused him pain.

Gritting his teeth, Naruto took a couple moments to steady his breathing and once he did he looked up.

"Where the hell am I?" he muttered. Globes sprang to life with soft glowing light as they sensed his movement. He saw the chamber was bigger than his apartment if it were doubled in size.

"Dirty." He thought seeing the thick layer of dust and cobwebs indicating no one had been there for a long time.

Struggling to his feet he moved further into the chamber, the globes sputtering to life and he looked around.

He saw a desk next to a large series of shelves crammed with books and scrolls. Near the right of the desk was a blackboard, the cobwebs obscuring what had been written there long ago.

Naruto continued to check out the chamber and he found a kitchen that while dirty put the one to his apartment to shame, and opening it, he was shocked to see that it was still functioning and cold. The stove too while dirty worked.

Naruto wandered the chamber and found an alcove that was used for sleeping, the bed was destroyed with age, but Naruto was getting an idea as he checked the chamber out even more.

_I couldn't…but no one knows its here…I could be safe here._ He thought.

Checking out the room, he found a stairway in the back and climbing up metal stairs he found a door. Opening it, he found himself not far from the academy. He was surprised the door was disguised and he smiled seeing it also wasn't far from the Hokage Tower.

_Its settled._ Naruto decided. His smile was huge until he bumped the kunai still imbedded into his shoulder and nearly screamed in pain.

_Best get to the old man. Then get my stuff from my apartment._ The blond thought before staggering out of the dead end ally, he smiled seeing that the hidden wall was well hidden, a dumpster was before it blocking it from view.

He checked around to make sure no one saw him and staggered towards the Hokage tower.

Sasuke Sarutobi sighed as he puffed on his pipe. He'd just defeated a stack of paperwork that he would have sword had a replication jutsu on it, but he'd done it.

_And to think, I didn't need to use a Katon Jutsu._ The old Hokage thought. His day had been filled with council meetings in the morning and to only come back to his office and find it covered with important paperwork that needed to signed.

_I wanted to check on Naruto today, but I just haven't had the time._ he thought with regret.

_I need to do more for him. He was denied access to the Academy by the council…_ Sarutobi looked at the wall with the pictures of past Hokage's, his eyes landing on his successor who died eight years ago, forcing him to take up the job once again. _Minato, you would be deeply disappointed in this village and how they have treated the boy._

Sarutobi heard yelling outside his door and added chakra to his ears to listen in.

"I DON'T CARE BRAT, YOU'RE NOT GOING IN THERE!" the familiar tones of his secretary.

_There is only one person who gets that tone of voice._ Sarutobi thought with a sigh at home so many refused to see the boy as the hero he was.

"I don't care what you say you old hag. I need to see the old man." Came the familiar voice that warmed the old man's heart.

"Get out of here demon, or I'll give you a matching wound…"

Sarutobi was out of his seat and the door exploded open as he saw his secretary threatening Naruto with a kunai. What saddened him even more was Naruto already sported a wound, a kunai in his shoulder already.

"ANBU!" Sasuke Sarutobi shouted. A masked ninja appeared. "Gopher, take her to Ibiki." Sarutobi ordered. The secretary was knocked unconscious and taken away before she could utter any kind of protest. Another ANBU appeared, this one sporting a Sparrow mask. "Get my personal physician here, and tell her to bring her full kit." Sarutobi ordered as he rushed to Naruto's side, the boy going to his knees as his body was finally telling him enough was enough.

The masked ANBU was gone in a flash. Sarutobi was at Naruto's side and the boy looked up at him with his usual grin. "Hey Ojii-san." Naruto said. "I've had a hell of a day."

Sarutobi didn't know if he should laugh or cry. He put a hand on the boys uninjured shoulder. "Naruto, I'm going to remove this kunai, it will hurt…"

"Just do it Ojii-san. I trust you." Naruto said as he leaned into the old man's chest.

Sarutobi took a grip of the handle and with a quick motion ripped it out. Naruto's scream of pain was swallowed by the Hokage's robes.

"I'm sorry Naruto." The Third Hokage said as he held the boy, using the sleeve of his robe to make a temporary bandage.

"It's okay Ojii-san. I know you wouldn't hurt me if you could avoid it." The eight year old blond said thru gritted teeth.

When his doctor showed up and started to work on the blond, who was nearly unconscious, the look on the aged medic's face worried the Hokage.

"Eboshi?" he asked from where he was waiting as the medic worked.

"Most of his wounds have closed up with scarring." She gave him a look to indicate the fox had been doing it again.

"But?" Sarutobi asked as he saw her hesitation.

Doctor Eboshi Dooku hated giving the Hokage bad news, especially about the blond boy, as she had come to see him as someone special to the village leader.

"The amount of damage done by the kunai in his shoulder isn't healing. Its like there was something on the blade, an acid or poison that damaged the tendon's and muscles beyond repair. I've had to sew up the wound as it wasn't even hinting at healing like the wounds in the past."

Sarutobi looked at the unconscious boy and wanted to cry. "Any chance?" he asked softly.

Eboshi shook her head. "No. maybe if Tsunade was here and could perform a surgery, but its beyond my skills as a healer. The arm is useless…I'm sorry Lord Hokage, but Naruto Uzumaki is crippled for life."

Sasuke Sarutobi closed his eyes. He wanted to weep for the boy he saw as a grandson. He wanted to rage at the village for what they've done to this boy who saved them, and continued to save them. But most of all, on this day, the Third Hokage wished that his successor, the Yondaime Hokage, Minato Namikaze had never sealed the Kyuubi no Kitsune all those years ago.

_You should have let it demolish these bastards. Look what they have done to your son. I pray when they meet the Shinigami, that he isn't merciful, for they have earned their place in a special hell; reserved for child molesters and people who talk in theaters._

Drip…

_Drip…_

Drip…

Naruto looked around. "What the hell am I doing back in the sewer? Wasn't I in Ojii-san's office?" the blond asked and scratched the back of his head. It was then that he realized that he was using his right arm.

"Huh, guess Ebo-chan did her magic again and fixed me up." Naruto said with a smirk. He had liked the doctor the first time he saw her. If he was in the hospital, he was happy that she was there, cause the others ignored him.

With a shrug he looked around. There were pipes filled with blue light, there were thin pipes with red light fleck passing thru them, and then wrapped around both was what looked golden pipes that seemed to pulse.

Looking around he walked on, seeing puddles of water all over the place. "I don't remember ever seeing a tunnel like this under Konoha before." Naruto said as he walked.

As he continued on for what seemed like hours, he found himself entering a monstrous chamber with a cage that reminded him of the doors to Konoha. On the front of the cage was a weird seal. From the depths of the cell he heard the sound of what sounded like someone breathing, heavy.

"Hello?" Naruto called out, his voice echoing in the chamber. He passed what looked like a small waterfall and pond, his eyes continuing to be drawn to the cage.

"Is someone in there?" he asked.

The breathing changed and from the depths of the cage he could see a pair of eyes, three times bigger than him snap open. They were gold with red flecks.

"Finally came to visit I see." A deep voice said, and Naruto froze. He could feel the power from behind the seal and he was frightened. It was power like this he thought he was going to be hurt.

"I won't hurt you child. But we have much to discuss." The voice said, lowering its base and the eyes went from high to close to ground level.

"W-W-Who are you?" Naruto got out over his fear.

A deep chuckle. "I have many names. I'll use one I'm sure you know." The figure moved out of the shadows and Naruto backed up a step seeing the giant fox on the other side of the bars, the creatures body still concealed by shadows of the cell.

"I am the Kyuubi no Kitsune. But I would prefer if you call me…Ed."

AN: Well? Something bugged me about this one. Should I continue? If so, I'll add it to the rotation with my other stories.


	2. Chapter 2

Konoha's Alchemist

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

Chapter 2

"Ed? What the hell kind of name is that for a fox the size of the Hokage tower?" Naruto asked.

"**IT'S MINE YOU LITTLE SNOT!" **The giant fox snarled.

"Sorry furball. Sheesh, get your tails in a knot, or is it that time of the month for you?"

The growling intensified and for some reason Naruto felt secure. He was good at getting people built up into a rage. He'd learned long ago how to annoy and taunt people into berserker rages.

"**I AM NOT SMAL YOU SHORT LITTLE SHIT, I'LL SO KICK YOUR ASS FROM…"**

"I never said you were small." Naruto looked at the frothing fox in the cage, wondering if it was insane.

Kyuubi, a.k.a. Ed calmed down. **"Sorry about that kid, I have a short temper and…"** shakes its massive head.

"Where are we?" Naruto asks.

"Inside you. You fell unconscious from blood loss while the Hokage's doctor was doing what she could for you. I'm sorry kid, I can't repair the arm, someone had a weird poison on it that resulted in muscle death."

"What? But my arms fine, see." Naruto showed him his arm and moved it around.

"Your in your head kid, of course its fine. Once you return to the waking world, you'll be in pain and the arm is dead. But…we'll talk about that later. First off, we have much to talk about since you're here."

"Yeah, why are you alive and in me for one." Naruto said.

"**Your father, the Yondaime…"** Ed started, but was cut off as Naruto shouted.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY FATHER IS THE YONDAIME!?"

Kyuubi with a anime style sweat drop looked at Naruto. _Heh. I think we're related somehow. He acts like me at times its scary._

Naruto finally calmed down and looked up at the Kyuubi who had been watching him. _Is that damn fox…he is, he's grinning._

"Now that the drama is out of the way kid, let's talk."

XX

Naruto watched as the Kyuubi that wanted to be called Ed crouched down and got comfortable. **"Pull up a seat kid, this is a tale."** Kyuubi chuckled at his humor as he had made a motion for Naruto to sit with one of its nine tails.

"Now, my story begins long ago. I came to this world when I was human. I passed thru the Gate…"

"Gate? What gate?" Naruto asked confused.

"**Be quiet and I'll tell you."** Kyuubi Ed said with a growl at being interrupted. **"No more questions until I'm done."** He warned the blond sitting before his cage.

"Now, as I was saying, I passed thru the Gates, or as some call them the Gate of Truth or the Gate of Alchemy. Opinions vary. I woke up in this world, where many people were the same, yet everything was different. It was at war, not like you Shinobi like to perform, but similar to it was waged in my own, with alchemy, guns and our usual armaments of war."

Naruto noticed the Kyuubi's gaze was far away.

"I'll skip the boring details of my attempts to return home. It happened, for a short time, and with my brother Alphonse we stopped the invasion from this world to our own, however, in stopping it we closed the gate with us on this side."

Naruto could hear the sadness in the fox's deep rumbling voice. **"I was a fool. My experiments cost me, and in the end I found out the ultimate price was paid for sealing the gate to prevent passage. I was no longer mortal. I gained the one thing many on my world had fought and died for, but I never wanted. While I remained the same, I watched Al, slowly age and die. After his death, I threw myself back into the study of alchemy, it was different here, it took me two hundred years to make the proper connections and be able to use it as I once had. My arrogance was as bad as Dante's and my father's."**

Naruto wanted to ask about the people, but knew now wasn't the time. he felt sorry for the demon fox. He'd lost his world, his home and his family. _We're alike._ Naruto thought.

"By that time I was sad to say the world was in ruins. The war had a hard effect. The fools who were in charge tried to force alchemic reaction in weapons, and it backfired. Their ultimate bomb became a planet cleanser. I alone survived for over a century, till like began once more. In order to survive I transformed myself…I became a fox demon mixing alchemy and magic. Sadly, I was never able to find a way back."

Naruto was surprised.

"**For my arrogance, I am as I should be. Know this kid, everything has a price. **_**Everything.**_**"**

Naruto looked at the fox and nodded.

"**So, we'll skip centuries of boring things, and come to current events. A ninja from Konoha entered my valley and stole priceless research, research I had done in hopes of reversing my own immortality and transformation."** Kyuubi said.

"I tracked the ninja back to this village, but before I could even state my intentions, I was attacked. Granted I may have gotten carried away in retaliation, but some of their attack hurt like hell. I kinda went berserk and in the end…the Yondaime sealed me in you, his son. He apologized as my soul was ripped from my body and placed in you. He and I had talked many times from when he was a kid about your age."

Naruto could feel the sadness and regret from the Kyuubi. **"I fought a man I called friend and was the reason he died, and your life has been hell from the day you were born."**

Naruto looked at the fox, its head was hanging low. Naruto stood, he wasn't sure what to say. He walked thru the bars and to the surprise of himself, and the Kyuubi he hugged the great demon's snout.

"**Kid?"**

"I-I forgive you Ed-san."

For the first time in nearly a thousand years, a tear came to the great fox's eyes.

XX

After both returned to their positions, Ed the Kyuubi looked down at the boy, his container. **"Well, we'll need to make some changes. First thing is you need to study."**

"What do you mean, I study all the time."

"No more hiding your intelligence kid. I know how smart you really are. Those homemade bombs, not to mention the tags. No, no more hiding your intelligence. Secondly…new clothes…"

"But…"

"**We'll sneak out of the village to that Tanzuka Town. Also the idea you had about that sewer den…"** Kyuubi smiled. **"We're in luck. I'm amazed it hadn't been touched in all these years."**

"What do you mean Ed-san?" Naruto asked his head quirked to the side.

"Long before Konoha was founded here, there was another town here. The fact that it still exists will be a bonus for both of us. Don't worry about the ninja academy right now Naruto. I'm going to be your teacher. I'll teach you how to brew elixirs, transmute led into gold. I will teach you combat skills long forgotten. So kid, what do you say?"

"When do we begin Ed-sensei?" Naruto asked.

"After you wake up. I think the old man is worried about you a great deal. And kid."

"Yeah?"

"Tell the old man what's going on. I trust him as he's the only fool in the village to care about you without prompting. After the den is cleaned up invite him down. I think we'll have some protections up by then, not to mention…we'll see about that arm."

Naruto nodded and he felt himself becoming heavier, and as the cage faded away, he felt pain and he knew he was once more outside his mind and back in the real world.

"Fuck that hurts." He muttered using his left hand to wipe his face as his right wasn't responding to him.

"Naruto."

"Hey Ojii-san…" he winced as he tried to set up and realized how unbalanced he was with the loss of an arm.

"Stay still Naruto. You're badly hurt. There are some things I need to talk with you about…"

"Yeah, me too." Naruto said. "Like why you never told me the Kyuubi was sealed inside of me? How about my father being the one to do the sealing?"

Sasuke Sarutobi blinked several times. Of all the things he'd expected the blond to say to him, that pair of questions slash statements were nowhere in the top one hundred he'd thought he'd have to answer for at least another decade if he was lucky.

_I'm getting to old for this shit._ The Sandaime Hokage thought as he sunk back into the chair he'd moved next to the couch in his office. Behind him he could hear Eboshi dropping her medical bag and gasp.

_Oh Minato…what should I do?_

AN: Here it is the second chapter. Its going to be slow…come on folks I have four other stories in the air plus this one. Be patient and enjoy it as it comes. I'm digging up my old FMA notes from an idea I had a couple years back. Naruto will be a ninja, don't worry. Again, I'm moving the graduating age to 16, as it gives me time to play out and stall. (I have stated before, this is fanfiction we don't have to stick to canon and facts, we can do what we want. If I say Sasuke wears pink underwear with chibi bears, then he does in this fic. If I say Sarutobi's name is Billy Jo Bob, then it will be. WE HAVE THE RIGHT OF EXPRESSION)


	3. Chapter 3

Konoha's Alchemist

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

Chapter 3

"Say that again." Sarutobi said using his pinky to shake his ear. "You spoke with the Kyuubi?"

Naruto who was sucking down a mouthful of ramen nodded. The Hokage had sent out for enough ramen to feed the now awake Naruto and they were sitting in his office as Naruto discussed everything that had happened while he was unconscious. He was lucky he was ambidextrous. Eboshi had his now useless right arm in a sling.

Sarutobi looked at the ramen before him and suddenly what he had eaten felt like a solid brick in his stomach.

Sarutobi had talked to Naruto about his parents, about the sealing, about his decision to try and give Naruto a stable life, the fights with the council. _And now, we learn the folly of our ways goes even deeper._ The Third thought.

"Ojii-san, I plan on leaving my apartment…I'm going into a hiding place not far from the tower…"

"Naruto, is that wise…"

"Its safer than that apartment that's been vandalized, firebombed, and lets not forget those break ins where I was lucky enough to get away, and now I know why…I can't be a target for their stupidity any more. It's cost me too much."

Sarutobi winced as his eyes looked at the dead arm. _I swear I'll find out who did this to you Naruto._

"Ed-sensei told me there might be a way to give me a new arm, but it will take us time. If you could give me the academy material, and let me show up on the final exam…"

Sarutobi sighed. "The council won't like this, therefore I will make sure you have all you need…" Sarutobi stroked his beard in thought. "And I want you to come to my family estate once a week…so I can check up on you, and have Eboshi look you over as well."

Naruto nodded as he thought that would be fair. "Ed-sensei suggested I head to the nearest market town to get things since my being in Konoha has resulted in over pricing, bad food and worse clothing."

Sarutobi nodded. "Along with your allowance, I'll add in the price that was going to the apartment."

"What will you tell the council Ojii-san?" Naruto asked as he slurped up some more ramen, the seven empty bowls were a start.

"That you are in the village under the care of a personal retainer since you were badly wounded by several villagers."

"A lie?" Naruto asked cocking his head.

"An omission. You are in the village, and in a way, the Kyuubi can be considered a retainer as he is part of you now, and you are badly wounded. A white lie with a majority of truth blended in."

Naruto looked like he wanted to say something, but shrugged and continued eating the ramen before him.

"You still haven't told me where you will be going Naruto." The Third said after watching the boy eat quickly one handed.

"Can you wait till I've cleaned it up?" blue eyes looked back at him.

"You really feel this place will be better for you?"

"Yes." The one word answer from the blond told the Third that the blond was going to do it regardless of what he thought.

"After this latest, I would prefer you not be alone."

"I'd agree, but after this, I don't know who I can trust anymore Ojii-san. There were ninja in the crowd…I…" Naruto looked away, the chopsticks lowering to the bowl untouched.

Sasuke Sarutobi looked at the blond child, sadness in his own eyes, and was wishing again like he had numerous times that Naruto's parents were alive.

They ate in silence, and Sarutobi watched the blond who wasn't eating with his usual gusto. He saw the thoughtful look in the younger male's eyes.

"Ojii-san…Ed-sensei mentioned teaching me the lost art of Alchemy…he said I could have a new arm…"

Sarutobi had read about the lost art, but he'd never found anything on how to go about it.

"How does he plan to do that?" Sarutobi was curious about the Kyuubi and its motives.

"Not sure. I'm going to talk to him more when I sleep…um, I could use help getting a sleeping roll and a few things…"

Sarutobi bowed his head. _He only asks for that if his apartment was firebombed again…(sigh)_ "I'll be right back Naruto."

Sarutobi left the office and called up several ANBU. "Mole, go to Naruto's apartment, get everything and seal it into a scroll, even if its damaged." He turned. "Sparrow, Eagle, find out who attack him this time, give them to Ibiki and tell him no limits."

The pair of ANBU bowed, but the Hokage could see the nervous twitch of their shoulders before they left.

"Wolf, Rat, Ox." He said and the four ANBU appeared. "Go to the library, get the academy scrolls…and everything you can on history of the…of the demon lords."

They gasped in shock. "Go. Copy it and bring it here." They vanished. "Inu…Kakashi…"

The dog masked ANBU stepped from the shadows. "Why didn't you help him?"

"I don't…"

Kakashi Hatake, ANBU captain codenamed Inu was slammed against the hallway wall by his neck, the Sandaime Hokage was pissed, the killing intent was directed at him fully and it was making it hard to breath.

"That boy in there lost his arm, because you can't see the blind foolish hatred." Sarutobi snarled. While Eboshi had been working on Naruto, Sarutobi had checked the duty roster on who was to be watching over Naruto.

"You not only failed your duty that I gave you, you failed your sensei's son. Because of you, Naruto will never become a ninja."

"S-Sensei's son? B-Bu-But he died. The Kyuubi stole…"

Sarutobi squeezed and Kakashi's voice ended in a gurgle. "You are a stupid man. You followed those blind stupid fools and I allowed it to go on too long."

Sarutobi released him and stepped back. "Think about your actions have cost this day Kakashi. Now get out of my sight."

Sarutobi walked back to his office, he entered to see Eboshi had returned and was talking with Naruto. The medic shook her head. "A proper diet. Your too short for your age…"

"I AM NOT LITTLE YOU…" Naruto paused, shook his head and grinned. "Sorry. Ed-sensei is very sensitive and he started ranting when you called me short and it was like…um, what's it called?"

"Feed back?" Eboshi asked.

"Yeah, that's it." Naruto said and looked up when Sarutobi entered. The first thing the Hokage noticed was all the ramen dishes were empty. The other thing he noticed was the blond was smiling.

"Hey Ojii-san, Eboshi-chan says I need to eat more if I am to be strong enough to take your job."

Sarutobi raised his eyebrow at his doctor.

"Now, Naruto, I said you had to eat more proper foods." The doctor said.

Naruto chuckled. "Ramen is food."

"Junk food." Eboshi said. "If I have to I'll do your grocery shopping every week…"

"That would be a good idea." Sarutobi said cutting in. "Naruto, I've sent ANBU to your apartment to collect your belongings, and some to the library to get scrolls for you to ready and study."

Naruto lowered his head. "Thank you Ojii-san. They woman at the library never lets me in, even shredded the pass you gave me."

Sarutobi growled mentally. "Once you get your new place set up, I want to see it. We'll work out things for you, I promise you this Naruto, you will not be mistreated again."

_**Old man's right about that kid.**_ Ed's voice entered his head.

Ed-sensei?

_**No, it's the Cookie Monster. Of course its me. How many other people you got in here?**_

_I don't know, I didn't know you were in me until a little bit ago._ Naruto countered.

_**Heh, yeah, sorry about that. I tend to get sarcastic. I'm establishing this link so you won't have to go unconscious all the time for us to talk. I'm also fixing the mess that is your chakra system. The Yondaime was a genius with seals, but the idiot messed up. I'll explain more later, I promise. But we'll talk more, now pay attention to the old man, he's looking worried.**_ Ed's voice echoed off and Naruto blinked to see Eboshi and Sarutobi looking at him in concern.

"Er, sorry. Ed-sensei was talking to me." He saw their look. "He's made a connection so that I don't have to be unconscious for us to talk. He took me by surprise is all, he's um…fixing a few things that are messed up."

"Naruto, is he planning to escape?" Sarutobi asked.

"Um, I don't know. Hold on." Naruto closed his eyes.

Ed-sensei?

_**What?**_

_Ojii-san wants to know…are you planning to escape?_

A bark of laughter. _**Kami no kid. That would not only kill you, but me as well. We are tied together. Besides, I owe you so much. No, tell the old man, I give my solemn vow I will not escape. Now, leave me alone, I have work to do.**_

Naruto opened his eyes. "He says to tell you that he gives his solemn vow he will not escape. He says he owes me."

Sarutobi thought about it, and what he learned in all his studies is that a demon's word meant everything.

XX

Naruto looked around the new home. He'd slipped away from the Hokage's Tower under the cover of darkness and back to the alley he'd used before. Once he was back in the 'Den' as Ed called it he looked around.

"Man, this is going to take forever to clean." He muttered.

_**Yeah, and before we do that we'll need to get your arm. So tonight while you sleep I'm going to do a data dump.**_ Ed's voice filled his mind.

"A what?" Naruto asked aloud.

_**(sigh) I'm going to cheat and give you the basic knowledge of alchemy. Technically I'm going to give you my first twelve years of knowledge, along with the secret to making auto-mail. We're going to exchange your dead arm…kid, I won't like its going to hurt like a bitch when we do it. You might want to do it and have the doc and the old man around. You'll be out for a time.**_

Naruto paused. "This…data thing…will there be side effects? Will I become you?"

_**No kid. You'll have my knowledge, but you won't become me. I won't lie, you'll probably get my IQ and there might be a bit of bleed over of some of my…quirks, but you shall remain you.**_

Naruto cleaned an area to lay out his sleeping bag, the bag with the scrolls the old man had the ANBU fill he put on the desk for now. He had found a bathroom and the power and water worked so he smiled thinking he was better here than in the firebombed apartment.

_See you in the morning Ed-nii-san._

_**See you in the morning kid.**_ Ed's voice was soft, and deep in the seal, the Kyuubi bore a sad look.

AN: Ready, Steady Go…

**And so it begins. Naruto goes to sleep as he was, and tomorrow wakes up a genius. I'm going to do a skip about hinting over the coming years. **


	4. Chapter 4

Konoha's Alchemist

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

Chapter 4

The week passed quickly as Naruto with Ed's knowledge in his head gathered the supplies he would need. He also spent the week cleaning his new home to the point it seemed to shine.

_**Don't worry kid. Once we get you a new arm, we'll fix this place up something special.**_ Ed's voice sounded in his head.

Naruto had some trouble getting some of the materials he'd need for his first alchemic trial, and thus had been forced to ask the Hokage to get things for him. the Third did and Naruto promised he would see it all once it was ready.

Ed-sensei?

_**What?**_ Came a tired voice in the back of his head.

_How am I to get this all together and make the arm without the use of my right arm?_ A confused Naruto asked.

_**Heh. Look into my memories. Remember the time I was without my arm?**_

Naruto did as Ed asked and he found the times when Ed had been human and without his arm.

_Its possible to do alchemy without both arms? Oh, I see, as long as you can make contact…that's why you had me prepare those alchemy circles for on my bad arm. _

_**Right. Now, once we get the auto-mail arm made, we'll take it to see the old man. We'll explain the thing to him and the doctor, and then draw the circle like we practiced.**_

Naruto had spent the week learning how to draw the circles and had learned that even a meter off could mess up a reaction.

Ed-sensei? Can I really do this? Naruto asked as the week passed, he had some doubts. Kid…Naruto, I swear you have the gift. All I did was give you a jumpstart with my memories. The ability you have would have made the Brigadier General wet himself with envy.

Naruto had searched thru the memories Ed had given him. he saw the mistakes that Ed and his brother Al had made, he saw their quest for the stone to undo their mistakes and the trials they got drawn into.

_**Mustang was an ass, but he did care about the people, he just couldn't afford to show it.**_ Ed told him. _**I see some of the ninja in the village the same way.**_

Naruto by Friday had everything ready and looked at the circle in the work area as he'd dubbed it.

_Well…here goes._ He thought and after placing all the items on the floor in the middle of the circle, he placed a strange hunk of metal that Ed had told him how to find called adamantium.

_**Trust me when I say it will be a good thing down the road.**_ The caged demon said when Naruto spent two days out of Konoha and deep into a hidden cavern where he found the hunk of metal, along with jewels. The jewels he gave some to the Hokage who went and had them appraised and the money given to Naruto. _I'll never have to worry about starving again._ Naruto thought seeing the amount of ryo the old man had got for just three of the gems.

_**He'd have a heart attack if he saw the stash we kept and the mounds we left in the cave.**_ Ed said, and gave Naruto a mental image of the aged Hokage at seeing the amount of precious stones and metal that could by the Leaf village a hundred times over without making a dent.

Naruto looked at the list he'd made and double checked the figures several times.

_**Naruto, the math is good, and you have everything properly measured and set inside the circle.**_ Ed said as Naruto was about to check the list a third time.

_Sorry Ed-sensei._ Naruto said letting go a sigh.

He stepped before the array he'd drawn in the stone and kneeling he clapped his left hand to his bound right and then slammed the left down upon the chalk lines.

YES!

Ed's mental voice crowed as the area was flooded with pale blue white light.

In the transmutation circle, Naruto watched as the components began to form together. Soon a skeletal shape of fingers, forearm and upper arm began to form.

_**Keep focusing.**_Ed's mental voice warned when he felt Naruto relaxing his mental thoughts.

The light kept pouring on and Naruto watched as the adamantium melted and slithered over the skeletal parts and he watched as the arm formed.

Neither he nor Ed were prepared for the arc of alchemic light to arc out and strike his dead arm.

Naruto screamed as pain flared thru him and he was lifted off the ground and pulled into the circle.

_**WHAT? NO!**_ Ed screamed. _**This is wrong. Break the…AGHHHHHHHHH**_

Ed and Naruto's voices merged as they both screamed in pain.

XX

Above in Konoha the sky darkened and lightening flashed numerous times. The villagers heard the scream that seemed to shake the village.

In the Hokage Tower, Sarutobi and Eboshi rushed to the window. "Naruto." They both said in concern as they heard the earth shaking yowl of pain.

"This storm isn't natural." Sarutobi said seeing the lightening, some of the bolts were normal, but others had red or purple hues.

"Do you know where he lives?" Eboshi asked.

"No. he was going to show me this weekend." Sarutobi said.

"Lord Hokage!"

The Inu masked Kakashi burst in. "Reports coming in…"

"At ease Inu." Sarutobi said. "The Kyuubi isn't loose. This is…something else."

_Naruto, be okay._ He thought of the blond.

XX

Naruto continued to scream. His whole body felt it was on fire. _Ed-sensei…what's wrong?_

There was no response to his mental inquiry and soon the circle's energy died down, Naruto fell unconscious.

XX

Where am I? He wondered. It was a void of white with some color floating around.

_Ed-sensei?_ He thought, but still no answer. _This isn't my mind. Where am I?_

The blond saw a pair of massive doors ahead. The were cracked open and he could see eyes looking out at him.

Hello? Who are you? Ed-sensei?

_**Ed? You know Edward Elric?**_ A voice echoed from the door, as many more repeated the phrase.

_Yes. He's special to me._ Naruto said, he was uncertain.

_**He is special to many. Let me look at you. Hmm. Short, blond, loud, obnoxious…yes, you could be his descendant for all the heavens know. Come closer boy.**_

_My name is Naruto. Naruto Uzumaki._ Naruto yelled scowling at the gates. Laughter filled the air as hundreds of voices took it up.

_**Yes. You shall do Naruto Uzumaki. You are the first to touch alchemy in so very long. We impart upon you a gift. Now…brace your self, and when you wake up, tell Ed that Roy says hello.**_

_What do you mea…AGGGHHHHHHHHH!_ Naruto screamed as black tentacles shot from the gate and some impaled him, others wrapped around him.

_**When you wake, you will be codenamed the Fullmetal Fox Alchemist.**_ The voice said smugly. _**You will learn your gifts as needed. I'm sure you and the runt Elric will get a bang out of them.**_

Naruto continued to scream as energy poured into and around him.

XX

His eyes opened, they felt like they were weighed down by the Hokage monument. With a groan he managed to open them.

"Kid."

Blinking he saw a figure leaning in close and as he blinked his eyes into focus he saw a two tailed fox no bigger than one of the Inuzuka pups.

"Wake up. Something went seriously wrong. Please wake up."

"Ed-sensei?" Naruto said, his voice felt like his throat had been gouged with a file. He paused. _Like the night of my fourth birthday._ He shook his head and sat up with a groan and once he was up he ran his hand over his face, or started to when he paused feeling the cold metal.

He jerked his hand back and stared at it in shock. "It worked." Naruto said flexing the hand. "It doesn't even feel different." Naruto smiled. "Oh yeah, I'm the greatest."

"Think again dobe."

Naruto turned to see a two tailed fox with blond markings standing to the side glaring at him.

"Ed-sensei?" he asked after a moment.

"YOU BAKA! LOOK AT ME!"

Naruto looked at the talking fox, and he couldn't help it. The snicker slipped out. That was all the tiny fox before him needed before snarling and leaping at him.

"NO! NOT THE FACE, NOT THE FACE!" sound of ripping and a yell of "AGH! NOT THERE!" echoed around the sewers, and to the citizens above, many thought Ibiki was having a good day in the torture cells.

XX

Naruto sat on his bed glaring at the bound and muzzled fox that was laying on the floor. While his wounds healed at a remarkable rate, his clothes look like he argued with a buzz-saw and lost.

"Those teeth hurt Ed."

The fox glared at the blond who pulled off the remains of his shirt and tossed it aside. He took a moment to study his new adamantium arm and how it meshed with the flesh of his shoulder. He sighed.

"I'll have to wear sleeves from now on." He said with a sigh. The fox muzzled on the floor made some more sounds. Naruto looked at it. "If I take that off you promise not to bite me again?"

he paused and waited then sighed. "Blink twice if you agree."

Time stretched as the fox thought about it then blinked twice rapidly.

Naruto undid the muzzle, "I AM SO GOING TO KICK YOUR ASMMPPH!" the last was blotted out as Naruto refastened the muzzle and looked at the fox. "You know, for an all powerful fox demon, you suck at patience thing."

GLARE!

"Now Ed, don't look at me like that. I mean, yeah I laughed, but come on. When I saw you in my mind you were bigger than the Hokage Tower. When I open my eyes after seeing that freaky gate and some guy called Roy said to tell you hello…"

The fox's eyes went wide at hearing this and motioned for Naruto to shut up and free him. Naruto did so and the fox on his hind legs put a paw on Naruto's shoulder and looked him right in the eye.

"Did you say Roy? Roy Mustang?"

"He didn't say a last name. But…" Naruto was saying, but the fox put a paw to his lips.

"And you saw the gate. Was it open? What did you see? What happened? Well, why aren't you telling me anything? Come on Naruto…"

Naruto reached up with his metal hand and clamped the fox's muzzle shut. "I would, but you haven't shut up since you started talking, and I want to know why you aren't you inside me…um, that sounded so wrong on so many levels." The blond muttered as he shook his head before continuing.

"Anyway, the Gate was open. I heard several voices echoing. The one I guess that called itself Roy did something and I was pierced by numerous tentacles and some weird energy enveloped me. I was in so much pain…"

He stopped seeing that Ed the fox wasn't listening, but was staring at the left arm. Naruto did as well and saw strange tattoo's from his shoulder to the back of his hand. "What the hell is that?"

"Oh boy." Ed said. "I think we're in trouble."

**AN: Heh, time will tell what's happened to Naruto. Next chapter he and Ed report to the Hokage.**


	5. Chapter 5

Konoha's Alchemist

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

Chapter 5

The fact that Naruto was standing before his desk with his arms crossed had Sarutobi worried. He saw the boy was wearing a pair of black ninja gloves, a battered red leather duster, cargo pants and a pair of combat boots.

"Glad to see you're okay Naruto. I thought you were going to perform the attachment with Eboshi and I to make sure nothing went wrong."

Naruto sighed and sat in the chair. "I had planned on it. But when I was making the arm, there was an incident. The Gates of Alchemy were kind of waiting to meet me."

"What do you mean?" Sarutobi sighed realizing he'd left his pipe at home and he knew this was going to be an incident where he really wanted to smoke.

"The Gates of Alchemy, also known as the Gates of Truth, or the Doors of Truth, or simply the Gates or the Doors, are said to be the source of all alchemical power." Naruto clasped his gloved hands together and the Hokage raised an eyebrow remembering doing the same when he gave lectures to his Genin team.

"It is said that an alchemist who sees the doors, can perform alchemy without the use of a written or tattooed circle, due to knowledge passed on during their exposure to the gates."

Naruto sighed. "The Gates are sentient and for some reason they passed onto me a lot of knowledge and power." Naruto looked at his right arm, then his left. "They also gave me numerous abilities from past alchemists." He looked sad.

"Naruto…"

"They also separated Ed and I. They gave him a body and…"

"They did what? I need to get ANBU and…"

"Whoa. Easy Ojii-san." Naruto said holding up his hands in a stalling motion. "Ed's no threat. Maybe to a squirrel or a rabbit, but he's no bigger than one of the Inuzuka pups now, and has no power."

Sarutobi looked at the blond boy he thought of as a grandson. "Besides, he's like a plushy, with teeth." Naruto said, but his mind went to the image of the chibi-Kyuubi like buzz saw, but he managed to restrain the shudder of the teeth and claws.

"Where is Ed then?" Sarutobi asked.

"I left him in the Den. I thought it best to see you without putting your ANBU guard into a panic with a mini-fox sitting on my shoulder."

Sarutobi sighed. _This version of Naruto is calmer, smarter. I miss the old Naruto._ He thought. "So, you have Ed's memories…"

"Not all of them old man. Just his alchemic knowledge, and some of his emotions at the times. I don't have everything." He looked down at his outfit. "Well, a better fashion sense I suppose."

Sarutobi nodded in agreement. Naruto had slipped out of Konoha unnoticed and made it to the nearby trade town during the week, the results were an improvement.

Sarutobi had not been impressed with the patrols around the village and after Naruto told him how he'd slipped out he had corrected it earlier in the week. He also gave Naruto a travel pass, and warned all those that watched the gate if they cause him any hassle they would be doing latrine duty for the next fifty years.

"Well, I want Eboshi to check you over." He held up a hand to stall an argument, and continued. "We shall monitor you to make sure there are no adverse effects."

Naruto sighed and nodded. "Yeah, I can get that."

"What are you going to do Naruto?" Sarutobi asked him.

"I need time to study alchemy."

"What about your ninja career?" Sarutobi asked. "With the new arm you can return to classes."

Naruto sighed. "I've got the scrolls and lessons you got me. If I could study independently, and take the final…"

"You know, you'll be ranked bottom of the class, no matter how you perform, due to attendance issues."

Naruto nodded. "I know. But if I don't learn about my abilities, I could end up blowing up all of Konoha with a snap of my fingers."

Sarutobi was putting his pipe up about to light it when Naruto snapped his fingers and a spark leapt from his gloved hand….

_POOF!_

The spark was too much leaving the Hokage with a melted pipe and a soot covered face and smoldering beard and robes.

"Heh, heh. Sorry Ojii-san." Naruto said scratching the back of his neck. "I need to practice that too."

Sarutobi pulled out his melted pipe and looked at the blond before him. "I'll get you a private training field to use. Until then try not to use your abilities unless under dire circumstances."

Sarutobi knew that if attacked now, Naruto could wipe out a large area of Konoha. _The power of flames…Naruto, you truly do embody the will of fire._ The old man chuckled at his own humor.

XX

"Oh my." Eboshi said as she studied the new arm and the tattoos on the young man before her.

"Hey, quit gawking at me you old hag." Naruto said crossing his arms.

"Gawking at you? Why would I eye a scrawny little brat like you?" Eboshi said as she prodded him.

"I AM NOT A RUNT YOU VILE VICIOUS HAG! THOSE SPOTS ON YOUR FACE COULD BE USED AS A ROAD MAP TO THE FIRE LORDS BORDELLO…mmmph!"

Naruto's rant was cut short as Sarutobi covered his mouth seeing Eboshi developing a tick above her right eye and looked like she was going to pummel the blond.

"Remember your healers oath Eboshi." He said, as she looked ready to cause Naruto serious harm.

She turned and counted to two hundred. Sarutobi looked at Naruto after he removed his hand from covering the blond's mouth.

"I see you have acquired a new temperament." He observed and Naruto shrugged. "Ed said there would be some bleed over, emotional responses. Sadly it seems I got his issues with height, added to my own…" Naruto sighed. "I'm going to be doing a lot more meditating."

Sarutobi smiled at this. "Well meditation is good for balancing your chakra, as well as organizing your thoughts and emotions."

Eboshi pulled out a needle and Naruto was in the air flipped backwards and had his back to the wall. "Where are you going with that mini-sword?"

"Now Naruto, its not a sword. You are due for your vitamin shot, I also decided that while I have you here I'll make sure your vaccinations are up to date as well as a tetanus shot."

"Aw hell no." Naruto said. "I got a shot…" he slid along the wall heading for the door, but Eboshi seemed to teleport and appeared there slamming it shut and sealing it with a heavy warding jutsu.

Naruto narrowed his eyes and saw the door to the office open, with an open window.

With a fox like grin he feinted right then zig-zagged around the Hokage and rushed to the office and freedom. He got one foot on the windowsill and was mid leap when a slender hand grabbed him by his ankle and dragged him back in screaming. The window slammed shut and bars appeared over them. People on the streets below heard several screams, and some heard a woman's dark sinister laughter.

XX

Naruto standing in the Hokage's office hours later rubbing his butt he glared at Eboshi who sat to the side sipping her tea while humming. Sarutobi was trying hard not to laugh and set the blond off. _Thankfully he forgot he could use alchemy._ The Hokage thought.

"Now that you've been checked out, I wanted to talk with you about where you live."

Naruto sulked and glared at Eboshi a moment more then nodded. "I wanted to show you where, and ask you about some of the seals I was reading about…"

"How far have you read?" Sarutobi asked.

Naruto scratched his head. "Well…um…"

"Naruto? How far have you read?" The Hokage asked.

Naruto sighed and he formed a rapid series of hand seals and with a poof twenty Naruto's filled the office.

"You really should lock up your office at night Ojii-san. I read the scroll back there and learned the Kage Bunshin in less than three hours. After that…" he looked down. "I kinda, sorta read everything you gave me and I've got most of it memorized now. I'm still learning most of it, well the shadow clones are while I'm here…and annoying Ed."

Sarutobi looked at the twenty kage bunshin and sighed. "Naruto…"

"Sorry, Ojii-san."

"Naruto," Eboshi said getting his attention "That tattoo on your left arm, where did you get that? It wasn't there earlier in the week. I swear if some idiot in Tanzuka Town did it, I will castrate him for giving someone your age…"

"Easy there Eboshi-baachan." Naruto said ignoring the tick above her eye. "The tattoo came with the ritual. It is a…gift from the Gates of Alchemy. Or one of the denizens of the gate…a past alchemist user." He rubbed his left arm with his right hand and sighed.

"A man from Ed's time when he was human, called Scar bore a similar mark. Ed when he saw this told me about him. he received the arm when his brother died. It's a rare transmutation circle that allowed him to kill State Alchemists. I won't go into his whole history, but the markings make the arm an incomplete philosopher's stone. He had the ability of decomposition. He could use it to transmute objects or living beings. He stopped at the second step deconstruction or decomposition. He was famous for grabbing a person by their head and blowing their brains out the back of their skull."

Both the Hokage and Doctor looked shocked. Naruto sighed. "And the sad thing is that its not the worst ability I gained."

"Explain please Naruto." The Hokage asked.

"(sigh) From what I can understand, I gained several abilities. Scar's with my left arm, Ed's skills in alchemy, his brother's…Alphonse…(sigh) I'll need to check, but Al had the ability to animate suits of armor with his soul divide technique…not something I'm looking forward to." Naruto looked at the tea and Eboshi poured him a cup.

Naruto sipped it slowly before continuing. "I might have been given gifts…from the seven."

"The what?" Eboshi asked when it looked like Naruto wasn't going to speak anymore.

"(sigh) Seven Homunculi, artificially created beings. They had human forms and mental capabilities, but they all lacked souls. Homunculi are the product of attempted human transmutation. On initial creation, they do not possess human features, but rather look like decayed beings, organ piles, bones at odd angles are examples of what they looked like." Naruto said. he was pulling on Ed's knowledge now and it unnerved him how easily it flowed.

"They fed on incomplete philosopher's stones to gain shape, as in the form of the person they were to resurrected as. They have numerous abilities with regeneration and they are nearly immortal, but by no means thus, as they are tied to the stones they need to sustain their life."

Naruto sipped his tea before continuing, his eyes focusing on the edge of the desk rather than look up to meet the eyes of the two person audience.

"Due to their diet of the Red Stones as they were dubbed, all the homunculi possess a regenerative ability that allowed them to return from even utter annihilation. They had monstrous strength and agility, and each one was gifted with a paranormal power that was unique for each of them."

"How awful." Eboshi whispered and Naruto nodded. "Due to the imitation of life, they were weakened by the presence of the real thing. Meaning if they were brought into close proximity with the remains of the one they looked like, they would be weakened to the point of paralysis if close enough. The only way to kill them according to Ed's memory is to make sure they have no red stones in them, and the only way to do that would be to trap them in the Flamel array, or keep killing it until it exhausted its red stone reserves and can no longer regenerate the damage."

Sarutobi cleared his throat when Naruto stopped speaking. "And you believe you gained abilities from them?"

"Ed thinks I gained their powers, not their curse as I have my soul." He gave the old man a soft smile. "And as Eboshi-baachan will attest, I heal at my normal rate…er, well with the healing factor I possessed before my first attempt."

"First and last." Eboshi said.

"Sorry, can't. the gates been opened, I can't ignore my responsibilities to it, or to Ed and myself."

Eboshi looked like she was going to argue, but the Hokage held up a hand. "Back to the topic. What abilities from these Homunculi do you think you gained?"

Naruto sighed louder this time. "Well, from Lust, I gained the ability to turn my finger tips into razor sharp blades." He pulled off his gloves and showed them his metal hand that now had blades from the fingertips. "I'll find out if I can use them like the memories show of her 'Ultimate Lance' technique. I already can form Ed's sword." Naruto showed them clapping his hands together and running it over the forearm of his metal arm and a blade extended past his hand.

"But back to the Homunculi powers. Gluttony, I think I should be able to eat or consume anything without ill effects, but I'm not sure I want to test that ability. He also was known to be quite quick and powerful…I think the Akimichi are similar to him in some ways."

Naruto sipped his tea. "Envy…" Naruto closed his eyes and winced. "Envy was able to shape shift into anyone he saw, mimicking them in every way from voice to actions. He was also known to shift his limbs into blades and was known as the cruelest of the Homunculi. I don't believe I have his or Gluttony's abilities, it doesn't feel like it, but I could be wrong without study." Naruto said with a shrug before continuing.

"Sloth…she was a hydrokinetic, meaning she could control water…" Naruto looked to the pitcher and they watched as the liquid in it snaked up and formed several shapes before splashing back into the pitcher. "And it seems I have her gift. I think mainly cause she was the resurrection of Ed and Al's mother." Naruto closed his eyes. "She was their sin." He said softly.

Shaking his head he looked back at the Hokage. "I also believe I have Greed's ability. He was dubbed the Ultimate Shield by Dante. He could rearrange the bonds between the carbon atoms in his body to make his skin into an unnamed carbon substance." Naruto pulled out a Kunai and tried to ram it into his heart. Both Eboshi and Sarutobi screamed and stopped seeing the blade snap. Naruto sighed and nodded. "Yep, I have his ability, at least I won't turn into a black skinned demon with it like he did." He muttered the last bit under his breath.

"Wrath is next, and since he got his abilities from Ed's limbs I know I don't have his skills. I don't think I have Pride's Ultimate Eye which is similar to the Hyuga's Byakugan." Naruto said thanking Kami he had nothing from those two as Wrath brought a ton of emotional and mental conflict with his Edward memories, and Pride's eye just freaked him out.

"And as Ojii-san saw I have Roy Mustang's pyrokinetic ability." He smiled as the old man was lighting his pipe and moved it away quickly.

"I don't want you using any of those abilities until you are properly trained in them." The Hokage warned.

Naruto nodded. "Ed's working on a schedule. I'll be using the gate pass to leave Konoha for periods as some of the things I want to try would be dangerous in populated areas. Hell some of Ed's attacks were just as destructive. While he did prefer creating edged weapons, when provoked he would create a cannon or bangers."

"Bangers?" Eboshi asked.

"Grenades more destructive than a hundred exploding tags…well depending if he was pissed off or not." Naruto thought.

The three sat in silence, it was the hokage who spoke finally. "Naruto, I want to make you a special operative of Konoha." He looked at the boy who nodded. "Ed and I figured you would since I'm not going to the academy, your using my skills where you can to make Konoha better."

The Hokage looked sadly at the boy before him. _I really miss the old Naruto who you could lie to even a white lie without him seeing the forest for the trees._

"(Sigh) I will make you Konoha's Alchemist, answerable only to the Hokage. However, I will need to team you up with someone…"

"Before you go doing that Ojii-san, what will my duties entail?" Naruto asked.

"I'm glad you asked. You and your partner will get Sannin travel rights. Your duties will vary from special forces, intelligence, interrogation, research, police force actions."

Naruto groaned. "Great, it is the duties of a State Alchemist all over again." He muttered. "Might as well mark me down under the title of Konoha's Fullmetal Fox Alchemist then Ojii-san…Kami fucking hates me." He muttered thinking Ed was going to flip being pressganged into service again. _Heh, I think Kami hates him more._

"Yes, well then." The Hokage looked at the boy before him. _Who do I pair you with Naruto?_

"So, partner?" Naruto asked.

"How about…" Eboshi said and looked at the Hokage motioned for her to continue. "Well you hold a tournament between Jonin, Chunin and even Genin to let Naruto see who has what skills and make his own choice, he will have to work with this person after all."

Both Hokage and Alchemist shared a look. _Why didn't I think of that?_ They both thought as Eboshi poured another cup of tea.

"Now, you can show us where you live Naruto and…"

Naruto groaned as the Doctor ignored him as she went on saying it would need a woman's touch most likely. Naruto shot a look at the Hokage who just smiled at him and mouthed "Go along, it saves time."

_Kami you suck._ Naruto thought, which he followed up with, _I hope Ed's not licking his crotch again._

AN: Yes, Naruto has several abilities. He isn't master of them, that will take years. Next chapter we look to find Naruto a partner. Ed's reactions and of course more height jokes. VOTE ON THE POLL on my profile TO PICK NARUTO'S PARTNER…OR MAKE SUGGESTIONS HERE AS WELL IN A REVIEW.

Next time on Fullmetal Fox Episode Six…"ED DON'T LICK THAT IN PUBLIC!" Just kidding on the title.


	6. Chapter 6

Fullmetal Fox

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

Chapter 6

"Well?"

Eboshi looked around the remodeled sewer den. "Not my first choice." She muttered.

"Well I sealed the sewer way off, only I can open it. Same with the door, it will only be able to open with an alchemic ability." Naruto said as he walked down the stairs.

"HEY! ED! Eboshi-baa-chan and Ojii-san are here! You better not be doing anything…perverted!" Naruto finished, he wished he could get the mental image of Ed cleaning himself out of his mind, but his newer mental capabilities made that impossible with the photographic memory.

"I'm not doing anything kid." A squeaky voice said and Eboshi saw the two tailed fox, both Naruto and the Hokage winced as she made a 'SQUEEEEEEE!' sound and scooped up the fox and cradled it in her arms began to scratch his belly.

"Oh aren't you just the most precious thing." She said and Naruto swallowed his snicker as he saw Ed's hind leg pumping air and the dazed look on the fox's face as he zone out to the sheer pleasure of a woman scratching his belly.

"As you can see Ojii-san, Ed's not the size of the tower." Naruto said.

The aged Hokage looked around the den as Naruto called it and saw that it was cleaner than he expected.

Naruto shrugged. "I had a week."

Sarutobi looked and saw the bookshelf filled with scrolls and books. He read some of the titles and whistled. "Some of these works were thought lost back before the first Great War."

Naruto didn't say anything. He was watching the doctor act like a teenage girl with the fox in her arms. _I'll never be able to take him seriously now, not after seeing this._ The blond thought.

Naruto showed them his bed, and the new mattress that the Hokage had bought, along with items that the Hokage recognized that looked brand new.

Seeing his look Naruto spoke up. "I sort of played around fixing things after I woke up. Just to make sure I understood what I was doing."

_Smooth lie, and Ojii-san can see it a mile off. But Its best if they don't know Ed can still use alchemy for now._

Sarutobi was going to call him on it, but decided that Naruto was allowed privacy, just like anyone else. "I see you managed to get a fridge, stove and microwave working down here."

Naruto smiled. "Yeah. Once I was able to use alchemy, the first thing I did was take the ones you had ANBU seal up and fix them up like new."

Eboshi, still cradling Ed opened the fridge and growled as she checked the cabinets next.

"We are going shopping." She said rounding on the blond alchemist.

Against her chest Ed chuckled. "Told you." He muttered, before her fingers started petting him once more and Naruto smiled watched the bane of Konoha whimper and pump his legs at getting petted.

"What's wrong with what I have?" Naruto asked crossing his arms.

"ITS NOTHING BUT RAMEN!" Eboshi snarled.

"So?"

Sarutobi was glancing over a book he pulled from the shelf by the desk and winced at the argument. He knew how much the boy loved ramen, but seriously, it wouldn't kill him to eat something more nutritious.

"BECAUSE IT WILL STUNT YOUR GROWTH AND IF YOU KEEP AN UNBALANCED DIET IT WILL PREVENT YOU FROM GROWING BIGGER THAN A GARDEN GNOME!" Eboshi teed off on Naruto.

Sarutobi winced hearing her go after the boys height and he could have sworn he heard a fox growl before it became a mewl and he turned to see Eboshi squeezing the plushy sized Kyuubi being smothered against Eboshi's well endowed chest.

_She's smaller than Tsunade, but not much…and is that fox blushing?_ The third Hokage thought as he fought to keep a nosebleed from happening.

"I AM BIGGER THAN A GARDEN GNOME YOU MELON CHESTED OLD HAG!" Naruto fired back and was getting a wind to go on when the Hokage cut them both off.

"Naruto, you will help me judge the chunin and jonin to see who you can work with and who you will feel comfortable with Monday."

Naruto rounded. "What? Why?"

It was the smothered Ed that answered, as he managed to pull his head back from the ample bosom. "So we don't get stuck with one of those idiots that think you're me dobe."

Naruto sulked. "I was going to head out for a few days…"

"Not alone." The Hokage said. "I don't care if they sit there and watch you meditate, you will have a partner, someone who will need to know your skills and about your fuzzy partner."

"Partner?" Ed asked as Eboshi finally released him as she went and was writing a list of foods and supplies Naruto would need.

"Yeah…um…heh, its…"

"Naruto and by extension yourself are Konoha's Alchemist." The Hokage said seeing Naruto wasn't going to say it and try to fluff it off.

"Konoha's Alchemist?" the fox said walking towards Naruto.

"Heh. Yeah, um…its like er…State Alchemist, we only answer to the Hokage as its just me, and you…" Naruto said taking a step back for each one Ed took closer. "And its not like we have a hunt for a philosophers stone. We'll be spending a lot of it training until the old man approves…right Ojii-san?"

"Hm? You say something Naruto?" the Third asked as he was reading a passage in the book he had and zoned out, not realizing he just used on of Kakashi's excuses.

He watched as the plushy sized Kyuubi leapt and Naruto's screams of "NOT THE FACE! NOT THE FACE!" Which soon turned to "NOT THERE! NOT THERE! KAMI I WANT CHILDREN SOMEDAY! AGHHHHH!"

Eboshi and Sarutobi watched the strange one-sided fight with sweat drops and wide eyes.

XX

Naruto followed along beside Eboshi as they were in the market town a mile from Konoha. The Hokage had to return to his office and Ed was currently in a alchemy made pet cage back at the den with a muzzle. Naruto's bite marks and scratches had healed, but he was not happy with the tiny buzzsaw that was the Kyuubi.

"Sheesh, you figure a guy lives millennia wouldn't be so sensitive or picky." Naruto mumbled as he carried the bags of groceries. Eboshi had a handcart filled with food and dishes.

Eboshi ignored his mumbling as she picked out fresh fruit and vegetables. "You will eat the meals I marked down, or I will be cooking and force feeding you." The Hokage's personal doctor said when she saw Naruto scowling at the broccoli.

"Whatever." Naruto grumbled.

He watched her add a gallon of milk.

"I don't want milk." _What? Where did that…Ed. I really need to meditate to separate these feelings. I like milk._ Naruto thought when he caught the complaint.

"You'll take the milk and drink it." Eboshi said rounding on him

Naruto nodded. _Man, I really don't want to tick her off too much. She might decide I need another shot of some kind._ Naruto shuddered as he remembered the number of needles she stuck him with during his examination. Injecting things and then the ones to take blood. _Doctors have to be part vampire._ Naruto thought. _Or former masters of interrogation. Kami, I'd have told her anything near the end there._ The blond thought and managed to stop himself from rubbing his posterior that had taken a lot of needles in a short amount of time.

They were finally done and walking back to Konoha. "We'll go again next Saturday, or sooner once we figure out your metabolic rate of consumption." Eboshi said pushing the handcart ahead of her.

Naruto nodded. "Eboshi-baa-chan?" he finally said.

"Yes Naruto." She said

"Do you think…I mean…(sigh) will I ever be accepted in Konoha, or am I deluding myself?"

The Doctor winced. "I'm not sure Naruto. People change their opinions all the time. Know that no matter what, you will have I and Sarutobi, and there are others around that admire and respect you for who and what you are Naruto."

The blond nodded.

"So, your arm, it functions like a normal arm?" she asked after a couple minutes of silence. Naruto realized the older woman hated long quiet moments.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. I even have sensations of touch with it. But at the same time its unbreakable and I can't explain it, but to my mind it doesn't feel wrong."

Eboshi reached out and Naruto turned feeling the touch.

"Fascinating. Shame that it's a lost art." She said as they continued walking. "There are ninja's who had to quit after they lost an arm or leg."

Naruto sighed. "From Ed's memories of his time as a human, automail was very common. They had automail mechanics all over the world, but he would only trust Grandma Rockbell and her granddaughter, who Ed had a huge crush on."

He smiled. "But Ed was too much of a coward and hid behind his studies." Naruto smiled, then it faded. "When he and his brother were stuck on this side of the Gates, he fell in love for a time. She died and Ed never really recovered after that." Naruto didn't want to touch those memories. With meditation during the week he'd sealed nearly all of them away.

Eboshi was shocked the more she learned about the Kyuubi's past. _He's not a soulless, heartless demon. He's an old soul whose seen and lost too much._ She thought.

The massive Gates of Konoha came into view, and noticed Naruto veering off. "Oi, brat! Where you going?"

"Secret entrance. Come on, it will save hassle."

"Hassle?" Eboshi asked.

"Yeah. Those strange ANBU with the Root symbol are watching the gate. I'd rather avoid them, as there were a few in the crowd when I lost my arm." Naruto explained.

Eboshi followed him to a rock formation and watched as he slapped his hands together and a moment later a door appeared in the ground leading underground.

"What?"

Naruto chuckled. "Ed's got tunnels running all over Konoha. Come on." He said and taking the cart led it down. He resealed it a moment later and it was never seen by the curious Root operatives who left the gates to look for the demon brat like their lord asked them to.

XX

The weekend passed with Naruto lost in study, and Ed driving him to learn and master his basics quickly.

A finger snap sent the chibi-fox scampering away from the flame attacks that Naruto was getting better at as he realized late Saturday night that it was focus and will that directed the flames.

Between his alchemic studies, Naruto created several clones to work on his ninja skills. Ed would toss out comments and corrections in fighting styles. The Kyuubi noted that Naruto used several styles and it dawned on the fox that they were his, Al's, and Roy's fighting styles along with a few he didn't know. He knew he wasn't ready for using any of the higher ranked ninjutsu's or genjutsu's, but truthfully he could mimic most of them with alchemy now.

Naruto's Sunday was spent having breakfast with Sarutobi and Eboshi at the Hokage's clan house where Naruto met baby Konohamaru for the first time. Sadly Ed didn't like the kid as the toddler latched onto his tails and pulled…hard.

Naruto met with Asuma, who had returned from his duties to the Daimyo's court and was to be reinstated as a Jonin.

"So, pop says your going to help him judge a tournament tomorrow." Asuma said as he and Naruto were watching Konohamaru crawl after Ed. Asuma had been unnerved by the fox at first sight, and a talking fox had him on his feet. It had taken thirty minutes to calm him down.

"Yeah." Naruto said smiling as the fox leapt out of the two year old's reach, only to have Konohamaru laugh and get to his feet and chase again.

"You know what its about?" Asuma asked.

"Yeah."

Asuma chuckled as he lit a cigarette. His mother had forbidden smoking in the house so even after her passing his father had enforced it, even though he smoked, he would do so outside on the porch and expected guests and his own children to follow his example.

"It have something to do with the fact you have a new arm?" Asuma asked. He'd been at Jonin headquarters when the report had come in and several jonin had been bragging about the 'demon brat' no longer having the use of his arm. Needless to say Asuma had gotten them to Ibiki quickly.

"Yeah." Naruto said. he wasn't sure what to say to the man.

"Asuma, just ask him already." Sarutobi said joining them on the porch and lighting his pipe. Eboshi was sitting on the glider with a cup of tea.

"What's going on?" Asuma asked.

"Ask the old man." Naruto said with a smirk as he watched Konohamaru grab the twin tails and yank the Kyuubi back towards him laughing as the fox tried to dig into the ground with his tiny paws. Naruto snorted.

"Man, if the villagers ever saw the great and terrible Kyuubi no Kitsune like this I think they'd pass out laughing."

Eboshi laughed into her tea and the Hokage smiled.

"Pop?" Asuma asked.

"Naruto gained a…bloodline recently. He's got an ability he's going to be training up and he won't be in the academy. But he is under my command…he is Konoha's Alchemist Ninja. Tomorrow we will chose a partner for him. They will have various tasks and missions."

"Why won't he be in the academy?"

"My bloodline works better if I study on my own. With Ed no longer messing up my chakra, well…"

Naruto walked past him and then up the side of the house. "And my chakra reserves are limitless. Ojii-san gave me scrolls to study, and he'll evaluate me on my progress once a month. So having me sit in boring lectures would be useless as I can use that time to work on my bloodline."

"Alchemist? What is that?"

Naruto smirked made a show of using a few useless hand signs as Ed and he had talked about hiding it in plain sight, then he clapped his hands together, slammed them onto the porch and a minute later there was a wood copy of Asuma looking at him.

"Mok…"

"No." Sarutobi said cutting his son off. "Naruto can transform one thing into another shape and form."

"As long as there is something equivalent in the exchange. I can't make a paperclip into a kunai as there isn't enough mass, but with enough I can. Heck…" Naruto reached out and touched the wood clone and it shimmered and melted back to the porch. "With enough materials, I could duplicate the whole village if given time."

Asuma felt the cigarette slipping and closed his mouth. "Any Jonin or chunin can apply?" he asked and Sarutobi nodded. "Ibiki was curious and even entered." Sarutobi said.

"You told?" Naruto asked.

"I told them I was looking for a partner for a true prodigy. I explained the first year would be just you training and getting to know your partner, but then the missions would begin."

Naruto sighed. "You didn't tell them who?"

"Yes, I did. Many of them are interested to see what you can do. I have several ANBU who know and respect you asking to partake as well."

"Really?"

"Yes." Sarutobi said as he put a hand on Naruto's shoulder. "It will be fine Naruto."

Asuma smirked. "I think I'll give it a shot."

Naruto snorted. "You wouldn't be allowed to smoke with me."

"Oh? And you think you'd be able to make me quit when my own father the Hokage can't?" Asuma taunted.

Naruto reached out and grabbed the cigarette

"This is your lungs." He said and then snapped his fingers. The cigarette was ashes in the wind. "That's your lungs if you smoke around me again. It stinks, and with my enhanced senses I don't need the stench. Ojii-san at least smokes flavored tobacco that isn't as vile."

Asuma looked at his father. "Cherry." The old man said as he puffed on his pipe. "And if I smoked…something flavored?"

"I would leave you alone. But that burning leaf smell is vile." Naruto said. Eboshi and he had talked about his senses after the grocery trip back at the den as they unpacked the food.

"AGGGGGHHHH! LET ME GO! NA-RU-TO…HEEEEELPP!"

The three adults and one young blond alchemist laughed as Konohamaru was now biting Ed's tail, the chibi-fox had a panicked and pained look on its face.

"E-Yuck! Konohamaru, spit that out, you don't know where he's been." Naruto said.

"Fck you Naruto!" Ed said.

"Fuck you!" Konohamaru mimicked and the adults all scowled at the fox while Naruto groaned. "That is not my fault."

AN: No fight yet. I'm letting the poll on my profile go a bit longer. Keep voting. I've had some people tell me I've made Naruto too powerful. Not really. He knows the skills are there, but he's going to train. He's not going to have a massive arsenal in Jutsu's, he's still gonna suck at Genjutsu's. He's just gonna have different skills is all really, and be smarter than a 5th grader. Thanks to all who read and review. I appreciate you all.

Next time of Fullmetal Fox "Is that even legal?"


	7. Chapter 7

Fullmetal Fox

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

Chapter 7

The stadium below the Hokage tower was used in days of old to test the upper ranks of ninja without letting anyone see but the Hokage. The gathered Jonin, Chunin and ANBU were having a grand time. it gave them a chance to spar to impress the Hokage, and to see how others they knew were developing. The Hokage had one rule that applied to those with the Sharingan. 'No copying of Konoha loyal ninja techniques without permission'.

At the appointed time, Sarutobi along with Eboshi, Naruto and a fox on his shoulder entered the kage's viewing booth.

"Whoa. There are a lot of them." Naruto muttered seeing seventy-two gathered ninja.

He was wearing black cargo pants, a navy blue shirt under his red trench coat. _Damn Ed's memories. I can't even wear orange anymore._ The blond thought.

His hair was spiked and his hands were covered in white gloves with alchemic circles on the back. Around his waist was a belt with several kunai holsters, but the most important thing was the new pocket watch.

Ed had talked with the Hokage who had it made in one of the shops. On one side was the spiraling leaf symbol, on the other was a fox logo.

But what was inside, inscribed by the Hokage for Naruto was what was important. Naruto had taken the back off after reading the engraving and added a series of seals he'd read in some of the scrolls. It would make it indestructible and another that would keep it going no matter what.

Sarutobi put a hand on Naruto's shoulder, opposite of the two tailed fox. "You don't have to pick the winner here Naruto, just the one you think you can work with."

Naruto nodded and to the surprise of many pulled out a flip notebook and a pen, he took a seat at the rail.

Sarutobi smiled at him. "I want to thank you all for coming here on such short notice. This tournament is to display your skills so that Naruto here can determine best who will be his partner in a new special division that will be answerable only to the Hokage. If you don't feel that you can work with Naruto, I ask you to leave now."

A couple of the Chunin did, and Eboshi put a hand on Naruto's shoulder, but he wasn't surprised.

"Very well. Now then, nothing lethal is to be used. When I call a match over, you will stop."

The gathered ninja agreed.

"Now all of you fill out you names and it will be entered into the randomizer that will pick the matches."

Naruto watched. He noted that some wore Jonin vests over their regular clothes. _Close to a uniform, but at least we'll be able to pick and choose how we dress._ The blond thought.

He saw the first names pop up on the board.

Ibiki Morino

**Vs.**

Hiro Chono

Several jonin and chunin around the room patted Chono on his shoulder as he entered the arena against the head of the Interrogation department.

_Oh yeah, Ibiki's going to enjoy this._ Naruto thought remembering the few times he'd seen the man while spending time with the Hokage.

The fight started and Naruto winced at the wicked bolo punch Ibiki opened up with. _Wonder if their health insurance is paid up?_

XX

Ibiki's destruction of the high ranked chunin took only a few moments, the head of the interrogation department made it look easy and had used only taijutsu to do it.

A pair of chunin were next and Naruto fought the urge to yawn as they were using basic taijutsu and low level ninjutsu's.

_I've seen tougher fights passing the academy while running from them._ Naruto thought making notes.

Eboshi had no constraints and yawned loudly. "Eboshi-baa-chan, that's not polite." Naruto whispered back to her without taking his eyes off the fight. The Hokage's personal doctor moved to a seat next to him and saw his eyes watching each movement the chunin made.

"What are you doing?"

It was Ed who answered lowly. "Kid's learning, adding to his style."

"How is he learning?" Eboshi asked.

"Photographic memory." Naruto said. "I've always had one, but always played dumber. With the boost I got I can't avoid it any longer." His eyes taking in the movements below. "His guard is too high."

"Naruto." Ed hissed.

"It is." Naruto said to his fox companion and they both winced when the dark haired chunin connected with a spinning knee strike to the other one's chest and knocked him out.

"Told you."

They watched several more fights. Eboshi teased Naruto when he blushed at seeing Anko Mitarashi's attire as she put down a chunin named Mizuki with a serpent style of taijutsu mixed with liberal use of kunai and summon snakes.

"So, you're girlfriend looks to be near the top of the list." Eboshi teased Naruto who scowled.

"Not my girlfriend baa-chan, but she has great potential to be my partner." Naruto said as a pair of ANBU were using swords and taijutsu. The one in a dog mask sent the one in the sparrow mask's sword away and then sheathed his own and they continued with taijutsu and started mixing in ninjutsu.

"What do you think Naruto?" Sarutobi asked from his other side.

"I don't think the ANBU will make my list Ojii-san." He said. "Can I ask why?"

Naruto nodded with a sigh. "I don't know if I can trust them. I've seen the one in the dog mask watching me when the mob's formed and he did nothing. The sparrow one I think incited the one two months ago. And the ones with those marks for Root used me as a 'demonstration' for some of their younger members."

Sarutobi growled. _I will destroy Danzo. That man was ordered to disband that group and stay away from Naruto. _

The dog masked ANBU hit a series of strikes followed by a low level lightening jutsu that left his opponent twitching on the ground.

Next up a woman came out, she had a feral look about her. Naruto saw her with three dogs.

"Are those allowed Ojii-san?" Naruto asked.

"Yes. Inuzuka clan members have a special bond with their dogs, ninja dogs are considered tools of the ninja and thus allowed, just like Anko was able to use snakes, or the Amburame use their bugs." The Hokage explained.

Naruto made notes on his pad, he watched Hana Inuzuka work with her dogs like a well oiled machine.

"What do you think Ed?" he whispered to the fox on his shoulder.

"I don't think she'll judge us." The fox said.

Naruto watched as the three dogs dog underground while Hana was locked in a taijutsu fight. She back flipped out of the way as all three dogs came from below, one grabbing an arm, another a leg, and the third had the chunin by his crotch.

"Give or they'll use you like a squeeze toy." The feral woman said. The opponent nodded quickly, too afraid to speak.

Naruto made a series of marks and smiled.

_Hana Inuzuka, Anko Mitrashi and Ibiki Marino are the best ones I think I can work with so far._ Naruto thought.

Over the next hour he marked down several more possibilities. Kurenai Yuhi a chunin, an ANBU captain named Itachi Uchiha, another chunin Gekko Hayate, a retired jonin Shikaku Nara who came to escape another clan meeting that he called too 'troublesome' to talk about.

"Well Naruto?" the Hokage asked as the last of the preliminaries finished up with a pair of chunin, Izumo and Kotetsu who Naruto thought were too playful at something that should be serious, but he liked them outside of that.

"I have eight picked eight I would like to see more before I make a decision Ojii-san."

He handed the Hokage the list.

"Hmm. Interesting mix of styles, abilities." The old man muttered as he puffed on his pipe. Standing he looked at the gathered competitors, some sporting bandages and showing signs of fatigue.

"I want to thank all of you for coming once again. If I read your name, please remain behind for the final eight. The rest of you I ask to leave as the finals will be private…"

Muttering from many who were already lost told the Hokage that they didn't agree with this.

"SILENCE!"

"Now as I was saying before, the final eight will gather here." He indicated a spot to the right of the room.

"Ibiki Marino." The Hokage read. Eboshi stood with Naruto both watching the rest of the group.

The Head of the Interrogation department and Special Jonin took his spot off to the side, his face remaining expressionless.

"Kurenai Yuhi." The red eyed chunin looked amazed at being selected, but took her place next to Ibiki.

"Hana Inuzuka."

"YES! TAKE THAT YOU LAZY BASTARDS!" the chunin said and moved with her dogs to the side, she had a huge grin on her face, the red marks catching Naruto's eyes.

"Shikaku Nara."

Surprised muttering as one of the legendary Ino-Shika-Cho members stepped up. "Ain't he retired?" was heard more than once again as the head of the Nara family stepped up next to Hana.

"Itachi Uchiha." The Hokage said and the unmasked captain of an ANBU squad stepped up. Thirteen year old Itachi actually smirked as he took his place.

"Anko Mitarashi."

The snake mistress stepped forward and several of the chunin stepped back as Ibiki's apprentice and partner made her way forward.

Naruto smirked at that. _Dangerous and beautiful, what a kunoichi should be._ He'd read some of the reports in the old books and he knew a woman could be even more dangerous than any man, and he knew that from Ed's partial memories he'd gotten.

"Gekko Hayate." The Hokage intoned.

The chunin made his way forward, coughing every so often.

_I wonder if that's a real cough, or is it something to draw others in?_ Naruto had wondered and remembered how Hayate had drawn his opponent with a coughing fit and had the man on his back with a sword aimed at his neck in a second.

The Hokage looked at the last name, then turned to look at Naruto. "Are you sure?"

Many in the room were surprised that the Hokage was asking a eight year old's opinion.

"Hai." Naruto said.

"Doctor Eboshi Dooku."

"WHAT?"

Naruto smirked at the woman. "You hit harder than any of them Eboshi baa-chan." Naruto said leaping from the Kage box to the arena below, surrounded by chunin, jonin and ANBU.

"I am no longer a field doctor you snot." The Hokage's personal doctor snarled looking down at him. During his move, Ed had stayed on his shoulder. Both were looking up and she and the Hokage swore they gave her a cheesy fox like grin.

"Those not selected I thank you for your being here, and know you've brought pride to Konoha."

Naruto stood facing the final eight, his eyes ignoring the rest. Eboshi came down and slapped him across the back of the head. "I'm not fighting."

"Of course not." Naruto said with a grin. Clapping his hands together the Hokage and Eboshi tensed as a suit of armor rose from the ground.

"He is."

**AN: The next chapter it will be decided. I know the others aren't on the list, but its got to be some drama. Partner does not mean romantic interest. He's eight right now. I will do a poll for who he should be with later in romantic interests. It looks like Hana and Anko are leading as his partner. I look forward to writing that fight it will rock.**


	8. Chapter 8

Fullmetal Fox

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

Chapter 8

Naruto smiled as the seven ninja of various rank looked at the armored form. "This will be Eboshi baa-chan's stand in." he explained. He winked at the Hokage. "Took me nearly all weekend with the use of Kage bunshin to get this right." He admitted to the Hokage.

"Naruto." He said shaking his head. "You can make Kage bunshin's, why are you trying to learn this?" he asked, the 'Professor' always wanted to learn, and the blond before him was opening whole new worlds.

Naruto shrugged. "It's a gift, and I need to know how to use it Ojii-san. Besides, this is a lot more durable in combat and will last more than a couple of hard hits."

The eight selected listen in as the short blond talks with the Hokage. "Besides, do you really think I'd let Eboshi-baa-chan come to any kind of harm? She'd stick me with a dozen needles again."

"Oi, brat." Eboshi said.

"Vampire." The blond fired back.

Sarutobi sighed. "Children." He mock scolded getting two tongues stuck out at him. Rolling his eyes he continued, "Now then, since this is Naruto's call…I'll let him explain this next stage."

"Slacker Hokge." The blond muttered as he stepped forward. "Alright, I'm sure you can all pound the snot out of me, and as we got to see you have no problems beating on other ninja." He clasped his hands behind his back and paced before them. Once again Sarutobi was reminded of himself when he was instructing.

"However, this steel golem is up to the task, and I want each of you to fight against it. From there I will pick the final two who will of course go at it." He smirked, and the Hokage felt a moment of dread. "Well then, lets see how you handle Big Al here." He said patting the armor that shifted and then to the surprise of everyone held up a steel covered hand. "Hello." A hollow voice said sounding like a child's.

The fox on Naruto's shoulder looked freaked.

"How the hell?" All eyes turned to look at the two tailed fox, many eyes wide.

"Way to go Ed." Naruto groaned palming his face and sighing. "Everyone, meet Ed."

The fox hopped from his shoulder and stepped forward. "Hey."

Hana Inuzuka was the first. "A talking fox? Is it because of…" she looked at the Hokage.

"No, the kyuubi is no more. Ed here is a companion like your family has with the dogs, Naruto has with the foxes." The old man explained. Eboshi ruined it by picking up the two tailed fox and cradled it against her. "Ain't he just the cutest thing?"

Snickers were heard and Naruto heard Ed's growl and decided to save the big bad ninja from the mini-fox buzzsaw. "Moving on, Al here will test your abilities, you can go all out and…"

"What do you mean all out brother?" The suit of armor explained and Naruto swore the empty eye sockets went white with fear, and the steel face, which was expressionless show fear and concern.

_What the hell…but Ed's memories show that Al could do that too when he was bonded to the armor…but this isn't…man I wish I knew how Al did this when he created the armors later on. Too many unanswered questions._ Naruto thought.

"Um…" He looked at Ed who was lost to the world of belly rubs and cuddling. "Overgrown plushy." He muttered. "You get to fight them all one on one, and they use everything they know to destroy you."

"WHAT? Why would you do that to me?" The armor whined. Naruto sighed. "Al! Just get in there and fight, or I'll tell Ed about your fantasies about Winery!" Naruto hissed.

The armor froze then. "Meanie." Then the armor moved into the middle of the arena and took up a ready position.

_What the hell?_ Naruto thought. _Did the Gates do something like this? The armor didn't behave like that before when I got it to work._

Shaking his head Naruto went to the sidelines. "Um…Ibiki was it, you want first crack?" He asked the head of the interrogation unit.

"Sure." The imposing man said as he stepped into the arena.

"Um, Brother?" The armor squeaked out as Ibiki stood across from it.

"KICK HIS ASS AL!" Ed said and then melted as Eboshi got a really sensitive spot on his belly that he could never reach, and everyone heard the mewling sound come from the fox.

"Fight." The Hokage said after looking at Naruto who nodded.

Ibiki came in with a lunging front kick, the armor blocked easy and went to hit the interrogator with a series of rights or lefts backing him off in order to avoid.

"Naruto?" Sarutobi questioned.

"What's up Ojii-san?" He asked not taking his gaze off the fight below.

"Is that armor sentient?"

"Sort of. It's got a soul shard, a piece of my soul powering it. I think it pulled on the memories I got of Alphonse from Ed to craft its personality."

Naruto winced as Ibiki used a Earth Style battering ram attack to lift the armor off the ground then connect with a spin kick sending it into the arena wall.

"I'm not sure really and neither is Ed. It's going to take me some time to figure out the abilities I got, even longer to master them."

The Hokage hummed as the armor got up only to be wrapped in mono-wire. "What?" The hollow innocent voice asked before Ibiki unleashed an attack he created. "Welcome to the Shredder kid." Ibiki said and everyone watched as the mono-wire sliced the armor to pieces. Naruto stopped the match and announced Ibiki the winner.

"Its hollow." Anko said looking inside the remains. She looked at Naruto, "How?"

"Win and find out." He said as he slapped his hands together then touched the armor, which glowed and then to the surprise of everyone was once more in one piece.

"How you doing Al?" Naruto asked.

"Okay. But that man was mean brother." The child like voice came from the armor and Anko looked uneasy hearing it.

"It's a soul shard, learned thru alchemy." He noticed her rubbing her neck and backing up.

"Naruto?" The Hokage pulled him out of his thoughts. "Right." He patted the armor's shoulder. "Up next, Itachi Uchiha."

The ANBU squad captain wasn't much older than Naruto. _He's fourteen, hell Hana's only fifteen, she's seven years older than me, and Anko looks to be sixteen. A lot of talent here._

The Uchiha prodigy looked at the armor and Naruto saw his eyes change and become red with three marks in them.

"Ojii-san, what's up with his eyes?" Naruto asked.

"It's a Kekkei Genkai, the Uchiha family's Sharingan, or mirror wheel eye." The Hokage explained as Itachi avoided everything Al tried. "It allows the Uchiha to copy others skills."

Naruto watched as the armor slapped his hands together.

"NO! FREEZE!" Naruto ordered and the armor's hands hovered over the ground. Naruto rushed to the armor.

"Brother?" the armor asked confused.

"You can do alchemy?" he asked after the nearly seven foot armor straightened.

"Well, yeah. You knew that." Al's voice came from the armor.

_What the hell?_

"Ojii-san, can you excuse us." He didn't wait, but grabbed the armor and pulled it into an alcove.

"Okay, what the hell is going on here?" Naruto asked.

"What do you mean?" the armor with Al's voice asked.

"Al, you're soul armor. You shouldn't be able to do this." Naruto said pulling on the memories, which were proving difficult to access. "You are a steel golem I created, and I don't understand why you are sentient to the point of being able to use alchemy."

The armor was silent for several minutes. "It's a gift from the Gates. When you summon me, it won't be your soul shard used to power the armor, but mine, Alphonse Elric."

Naruto froze. "Why?"

"I wanted to see my brother again, even if its thru you. You are so like Ed when we were children."

Naruto was flabbergasted. "So, will you power every piece of soul armor I create?" Naruto asked. "And why didn't you say something the other day?"

"I will be divided amongst however many you can summon, and as for why I didn't make myself known…I was trying to gather my memories after being dead for so long." Naruto saw the now red glowing eyes look out from the alcove to the fox. "Brother never knew when to quit."

Naruto was wondering what to say. "How long can you last in this state before disappearing back and before I can summon you again?" Naruto asked.

"As long as you keep repairing me. And I will come back whenever you pull the soul armor." Alphonse answered.

"I'm sorry Al. I didn't know. I fell into this ass backwards and I'm trying to catch up with the knowledge in my head."

A gauntleted hand rested on his shoulder. "I'll help as will Ed. Your family now brother."

Naruto smiled and was about to leave the alcove when he was lifted up by his shirt so he was eye level with the armor. "Hey, let me down!"

"In a second." Al said. "I will put up with a lot, but don't you ever tell Ed my feelings for Winery."

Naruto heard the tone of voice and nodded rapidly. "I was joking." He said.

His feet touched the floor and he sighed in relief.

"Now, be careful what you show Itachi, Ojii-san was just telling me about the Uchiha's bloodline. He can copy what we do. I've been keeping my hands low and use my body to block what I do."

Al sighed. "So, I'm stuck with just taijutsu?"

"Yeah, sorry about that. I promise to patch you up." Naruto said hoping to appease the soul in armor.

"You better."

They left the alcove and Naruto rejoined the sidelines while Al once more took up a stance.

"What was that Naruto?" The Hokage asked.

"I didn't want him to waste energy on attacks, so he's going to stick with taijutsu."

_Man I hate lying to the old man, but I'm not sure if I can tell him the truth about this._

Hearing a mewling he turned to see Ed's hind leg pumping the air as Eboshi was sitting with him cradled like an infant while her other hand was really digging into his fur.

"Pathetic." Naruto muttered turning back to see Itachi launch as series of attacks.

_Impressive, but something about him just screams arrogance._

"Ojii-san, I don't think either Ibiki-san or the Uchiha will work well with me. They both seem…"

"Stiff?"

both turned to see Hana kneeling next to Eboshi looking at the fox. She blushed seeing the two males looking at her. "Sorry. Ibiki's great at interrogation, but field work…" she shrugged. "He's wasted."

Sarutobi nodded. "True. He's very capable in the field and in command of the ANBU, but I agree I don't think either would work well with you Naruto."

XX

Itachi won after a bit more, and Shikaku Nara fought to a draw with the steel golem.

Hayate interested Naruto with his skills, but Naruto thought the man looked sickly, and that might be a problem down the road.

Anko surprised him with her attacks, and her snake hand attack had Al pinned to the arena wall while she carved into the armor with several kunai. The one that had every male in the arena wince as a large cobra was imbedded in the armor's crotch.

She's skilled with those snakes. Something about her… Naruto winced as he saw the damage he'd have to repair. It's a good thing Al can't feel anything.

Naruto watched as Hana entered the arena. She smiled at the armor and asked how it was doing.

Al being the nice soul he was responded and as the Hokage said fight, Hana was on him slashing and kicking with her hands in a style that reminded Naruto of a paw swipe from a tiger or another animal with claws.

She summoned her dogs and he watched as she called out "BEAST HUMAN CLONE!"

And there were now four Hana's in the arena. She smiled and called out "QUADRUPLE PIERCING FANG!"

The four spinning attacks shredded Al's armor as if he was caught in a vortex. Naruto watched as she hit it a second time.

"Winner, Hana Inuzuka!"

She pumped her fist in the air as her dogs returned to their form and then vanished into their scroll. Hana went back to the sidelines, but winked at Naruto on her way past him.

Naruto dragged the shattered remains of Al to the side.

"Brother."

"Just one more Al. Let me make sure I have all the pieces, she really shredded you."

"It reminds me of the time Scar blew me up." Al said.

"Hold on." Naruto said standing up and headed back to the arena and started to collect shards and splinters.

Naruto was checking the arena floor.

"What's wrong Naruto?" The Hokage asked.

"I'm missing a couple of pieces of Al, I need them before I can fix him properly."

Hana came back out. "Sorry about that." She said helping him look for pieces.

"Its okay. One of the reasons I have you all fighting Al. I can fix him with little effort. After that attack you used Hana-chan, I'd be mulch."

Naruto missed the blush on her face as he continued to pick up pieces. "I think that's all of them." He muttered. "Excuse me." He said and went back to the side.

He was laying out the pieces. "Give me a minute Al." he said.

"Brother…"

"Impressive abilities you possess Naruto-kun." A voice said from behind him and he turned to see Itachi Uchiha standing there.

"Heh. How you doing Itachi-san?"

"My squad's been on downtime since Sparrow is laid up after surgery. I heard you were badly injured, yet you seem fine."

Naruto shrugged. "Eboshi-baa-chan's a miracle worker."

Itachi was standing behind him and it was making him nervous. "Fascinating jutsu, may I enquire how it is performed?"

Naruto was looking at Al, and was amazed both of them shared the wide eyed panicked look.

"It is part of Naruto's bloodline." The Hokage said walking up. "Only useable by Naruto and his family. Sadly, they died in the Kyuubi attack."

_Thank you Ojii-san._ Naruto thought silently hiding his hands he clapped them lightly and touched the armor. A white flash and the steel golem armor was repaired and shiny like new.

"Hm. Pity." Itachi said as he looked on, silently cursing the fact he didn't see the hand signs Naruto used. _That appears to be a very powerful technique._ _I need to see how he does it. I don't believe it's a bloodline._

"I will return to the wall then. Naruto Uzumaki. Lord Hokage." He bowed and wandered off.

Naruto shared a look with the Hokage. _He's not going to be my/your partner._

XX

"I don't like that man." Al said as he stood once more, the soft hollow voice Naruto found soothing.

"Me either. The whole copy eye thing freaks me out." He looked to see Kurenai standing in the arena.

"Good luck Al."

"Do I have to fight her?" the armor asked. "She looks…"

"AL!"

"Fine…I'm going. But if she gets mad at me, its your fault."

Naruto shook his head as he rejoined Eboshi and the Hokage.

"Are you ready Kurenai?" the Hokage asked the chunin.

"Yes milord." She said. Naruto liked her red eyes.

"Then…fight!"

Kurenai's hands went through a series of seals and she stood there waiting. Al moved right at her and she looked surprised as she ducked a series of kicks and chops.

"Was that supposed to do something?" Naruto asked the Hokage.

"Kurenai is gifted in the field of Genjutsu. Apparently she tried one on your golem and it had no effect."

Naruto nodded. He watched as the red eyed woman pulled out kunai and sent them at Al, they clanged and clanked off the armor, Al caught a pair of them and sent them back.

Kurenai ducked and tried for an uppercut and winced as her hand hit the metal hard. She staggered back and tried for a kick.

"She's not physically strong like the others." Naruto muttered and made a note on his pad.

"Yeah, but I bet she's an animal in the sack."

Naruto didn't even look at the fox that had leapt onto his shoulder when he finger flicked him off and sent him back into the wall.

"Ero-Ed." He muttered.

Kurenai surrendered, Al's fist stopping an inch from her face.

Eboshi moved in and checked her out. "Cracked your hand pretty good dear." The medic said. "Remember to use chakra to envelope your hands and feet."

The chunin blushed. "Sorry."

Naruto meanwhile was talking with Al, Ed on his shoulder.

"Tell her I'm sorry." Al said.

"Your still a big softy Al." Ed said from Naruto's shoulder.

Al patted the fox on the head. "And your still smaller than I am."

Naruto's eyes widened as the fox like buzzsaw destroyed the armor faster than anyone in the arena had before.

"Later Al." he said as he cancelled the soul shard, Ed hit the floor with a piece of armor in his teeth.

"BRING HIM BACK! I'LL SHOW HIM SMALL!"

Naruto shook his head as he scooped up Ed and put him on his shoulder and handed the list to the Hokage, whose eyes were on the fox.

"Don't Ojii-san. I don't feel like holding him back."

The Hokage nodded, keeping the "You do a lot of damage, for such a small fox." Comment to himself.

He looked at the notes. "You sure?"

"Yes." Naruto said.

The Hokage looked at the gathered jonin, chunin and ANBU captain. "Naruto's picked the finals." He looked at seven standing before him. "They are, Anko Mitarashi and Hana Inuzuka."

**AN: The finals are next chapter.**


	9. Chapter 9

Fullmetal Fox

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

Chapter 9

Anko and Hana looked at the others in surprise. Naruto hopped up onto the balcony rail and sat balanced.

"What the hell brat?" Anko asked.

"Its who I think I can work with." Naruto said. "While Kurenai is skilled in her field, I'll need someone who can work the board."

_And that I won't have to worry about as I get my own ass kicked._ The blond thought.

Ibiki nodded and left, as did the clan leader for the Nara clan and Kurenai who patted Anko on the shoulder. Hayate paused. "(cough) come see me if you wish to (cough) learn about swords." He said to Naruto before leaving.

Itachi was not moving, it seemed he was surprised he hadn't been named.

"Yes Itachi?" the Hokage asked.

"Did I perform below expectations Lord Hokage?" the Uchiha prodigy inquired.

"No. above and beyond all of you. But Naruto feels your style wouldn't work with him or the tasks he will be called upon to perform once his training is complete. I agree, and removing you from ANBU would not be worth the time, as you and your skills would be wasted."

_Man, laying on the bullshit Ojii-san._ Naruto thought as he watched the Hokage deal with the Uchiha.

"So, why us?" Hana asked Naruto drawing his attention back to her and Anko. Eboshi was seated and sipping tea nearby, but Naruto knew she was listening as well.

"As I said, it comes down to your skills and who I can work with and who I feel I can trust. Personality clashes on our jobs would get us both killed. I know Ibiki's talented, but I doubt we'd work well together in the field. Hayate-san seems sickly, not sure if that's an act or what, but he is limited in his own way."

"And Kurenai?" Anko asked about her friend.

"While she is skilled in her field of Genjutsu, physically she's not ready for the tasks the old man will give us. Both you and Hana here are more rough and ready and will be more flexible if it comes to us having to get dirty."

Anko snorted. "Always told Nai-chan that her prissy looks and ways would keep her off a job. So because we don't mind getting dirty, bloody and our talents?"

Naruto nodded.

"What about our looks?" Anko taunted opening her jacket.

Naruto had to fight to keep the blood from shooting out his nose at the fishnet exposed chest was pushed towards him.

"Back of Anko. He's only eight for Kami's sake." Hana said.

"Won't be that way forever." she leered at Naruto. "Think of the possibilities Hana, a properly trained boyfriend. Makes me really want to win now." Anko said licking her lips.

Naruto's blush was hidden as he turned to pick up Ed who was chuckling. "I like that one."

"Stow it Ed."

Once the arena doors were closed the Hokage looked at the two remaining women. "We'll take a few more moments to give you both a chance to rest up…" he paused seeing Naruto blushing, Ed's fox leer as he stared at Anko and Hana sighing into her hand.

Both Hana and Anko went off to the side, both women using the time to stretch and prepare for the battle.

"Blushing Naruto?" the Hokage asked.

"Careful Ojii-san, I'll get even."

The Hokage did a mental shudder, knowing the pranking abilities of Naruto from before. _I wonder what the brats going to be able to do now with his ability to transfigure…aw shit._ The Hokage knew his life just became more hectic.

"Ladies." He said. "You may begin when you are ready. This match will go until one of you is knocked out, or I or Naruto call it over."

Both kunoichi nodded.

"No dogs?" Anko asked.

"No snakes?" Hana fired back.

"Mmm, maybe later. Taijutsu first?" Anko asked getting into a loose snake stance.

"Sure." Hana said and both girls were in motion. Above Naruto watched the Jonin and Chunin go at it. While they were of different rank, he could tell they were both skilled. _This could be…was that an ass cheek?_

"Naruto, bro you've got to pick that Anko chick." Ed said from his shoulder.

With a finger flick he sent the two tailed fox flying. "Ero-Ed." He muttered as he watched the two girls fight.

Chops, fists, elbows, knees, kicks ranging from high to low.

_They are good._ Naruto thought.

Below Anko with a flurry of punches to Hana's ribs backed the Inuzuka off a bit, but it also gave the dog user a chance to try for a knee strike, Anko blocked with a forearm, but Anko left her arm open and Hana with a wristlock tried to grapple Anko to the ground.

"Hell no." the special Jonin said as she flipped forward and gave herself a bit of room, went with a lunging super kick, that connected with Hana's jaw.

The two broke apart then leapt at one another, both drawing kunai, the clang of metal on metal filled the arena as the two kunoichi went back and forth then up close and personal, their bodies inches apart as they tried to slice or stab the other, the whole while their free hands dealing out punches, or their legs kicks.

Ed was balanced on the rail and he was leering down. "Oh yeah, look at how they move…"

A bop on the head dropped him to the floor and Eboshi shook her head. "We might need to neuter him." she said.

Sarutobi winced, but Naruto didn't move as his eyes took in everything the two women below were doing.

They leapt back.

"Genjutsu." Anko said and her hands went to work while she gripped the kunai in her teeth by its handle.

Hana tossed her kunai at Anko forcing her to break her hand seal chain, and Hana's went to work as well. "This is how you do it."

She vanished and Anko was looking around wildly.

"Stop it." The Jonin yelled swinging around.

Naruto watched as Hana stayed out of range powering the Genjutsu. _Wonder what she's showing Anko?_

Anko meanwhile put her hands together. "KAI!" she shouted and the chakra pulse disrupted whatever she was seeing.

Hana staggered under the force, but managed to dodge a hail of shuriken.

She was once more locked in combat with Anko.

"Not so much fun now is it doggy." Anko teased.

"Bring it on boots." Hana fired back and they both leapt back.

Anko bit her thumb and her hands went thru several seals.

"SUMMONING JUTSU!" she yelled and a dozen cobras appeared.

"Contain her." She ordered them.

Hana used shuriken to get rid of most of the snakes as she used chakra to run up a pillar.

"You want to play this game. Fine." She pulled out the scroll and her hands were in motion as well.

"SUMMONING JUTSU!"

The Haimaru Sankyodai appeared and without command attacked the remaining snakes. Hana tossed them each a pill. "BEAST HUMAN CLONES!"

Anko backed off. she knew what this meant. "Heh, Hana, my friend, you know I didn't mean those comments last week at the bar, right?"

The four Hana's snarled and Anko's "Oh Shit this is gonna hurt." Was lost in the cry of "QUADRUPLE PIERCING FANG!"

Four cyclones rushed at Anko and she couldn't pull a shushin fast enough to avoid them all as one of the Hana's clipped her and sent her airborne and they performed the attack again, Anko was battered around. She bounded off the wall.

"Okay, no more nice Anko-chan." She muttered.

"STRIKING SHADOW SNAKE!" she roared as she launched several snakes from her wrists at the on coming tornado's.

XX

Naruto winced seeing both women bound and banged. Anko missed a 'Hana' and was drilled into the wall, while three of the 'Hana's' were bound with snakes.

That did nothing to slow them down as the loose Hana used a volley of shuriken to rid her copies or the original of the snakes and they were inbound once more.

The Hana's drilled Anko into the opposite wall and Naruto considered ending it, but the Anko that hit the wall vanished.

"Bunshin." Sarutobi said from next to him. "This is far from over."

Smoke bombs went off around the arena bathing the whole thing in smoke. A vile smell wafted up and Naruto wrinkled his nose while Ed backed away whimpering.

"What the hell?" Naruto hissed covering his nose and mouth.

"Stink bombs." Sarutobi said covering his own face. They watched as the smoke cleared and there were now five Hana's in the arena.

"Good idea." Ed muttered with his tails and paws covering his nose, the fox's eyes were watering.

"What do you mean?" Naruto asked.

"She used the smoke bombs to hide her transformation jutsu, and she then used the stink bomb to cut off Hana and her dogs sense of smell."  
Naruto turned away from the fox and looked once more into the arena. _Damn smart tactic. Hana and her dogs can't attack for fear of hitting one of their own, but this gives Anko a chance to rest up and plan, and then she can attack from cover._ Naruto thought as he watched.

The five Hana's were looking at one another and Naruto had to admit, this could be…

Hana lunged and struck another, the puff of smoke moments later showed one of the dogs laid out and unconscious.

"Shit." Hana said as she spun to look at the remaining three. "Nice idea Anko, but this ends." She dismissed the dogs back to the scroll and it left two Hana's.

Anko back flipped away and fired a trio of shuriken as her transformation dispelled.

Hana leapt over the throwing stars and came at Anko, left, right, left. The punches centimeters from the jonin's face as she twisted and twirled away, yet unable to get enough distance to mount an attack of her own.

Once more a taijutsu fight broke out.

"Their both skilled." Naruto muttered.

Behind the blond, the Hokage and the doctor shared a look.

The end came as both women had a surge of adrenaline and it ended with Hana drilling Anko with a stiff lunging punch and as Anko flew back she brought her foot up and connected with Hana's jaw and sent her flying. Both women hit the opposite walls and slid down unconscious.

"A draw." Ed said in surprise.

The Hokage stroked his beard. "Hm."

Naruto shook his head and Eboshi watched as a bunch of Naruto shadow clones emerged from the alcoves and vanished in puffs of smoke.

"What are you doing?" she asked the Naruto next to her. He winced at the information overload and then looked at her when the headache became lighter. "I created clones early this morning and placed them in spots around the arena to view the battles. I should have dispelled them earlier, but they gave me a view from every angle."

Eboshi pulled out a vial. "Drink this. It will get rid of your headache."

He downed the concoction and sighed as he felt the headache vanish. "Thanks baa-chan."

He watched as she went to check on Hana and Anko. "So, Naruto." The Hokage said. "You have a decision?"

Naruto heard the tone. "I do, but I have a feeling you've got something better Ojii-san."

"Perhaps." The Hokage said watching as Eboshi worked on bringing both women around. "You are aware that Konoha is famous for its three man cells, correct?"

Naruto nodded and Ed stood up straighter, a lecherous grin was forming on the fox's face.

"Then I am suggesting take both as your partner."

Naruto looked at him. "Isn't that a waste of resources. I mean, I might not be fully ready for a couple years."

The Hokage nodded. "True. But I have an idea."

Naruto shuddered at the gleam he saw in the old man's eyes. _I am going to regret this, I just know it._ The blond thought as he joined the Hokage in getting Hana to a sitting position while they waited for Eboshi.

XX

Naruto, Anko and Hana sat before the Hokage's desk hours later. Both women looked at the Hokage.

"As a special unit you answer only to me." The Hokage was saying.

"I thought only one of us could be his partner?" Hana asked confused, despite Eboshi's healing jutsu, the Inuzuka's jaw ached from Anko's kick.

"How many two person cells have you heard of?" the Hokage asked as he filled his pipe.

"So what does this mean milord?" Anko asked. Eboshi had straightened her nose and reset it properly.

"You three will learn to work together. Naruto will train, and when he's ready you will be sent on missions."

"So we just sit around while the kid gets ready?" Anko asked.

"No. You both will train as well, and there are duties all three of you will be doing as well."

Anko's eyes narrowed. "I will not do D rank missions."

"Nor I." Hana said.

The Hokage chuckled. "No. No D ranks." The Hokage said. "The three of you will be doing a continuous C rank while Naruto trains up his skills. Then we'll see from there."

The Hokage lit his pipe.

"So, what's the kid so good at that he gets to skip the academy?" Anko asked finally.

"Naruto has a power that will make him equal to nearly anyone in or out of the village. His taijutsu is already well above what they teach in the academy, and his memory and liberal use of Kage Bunshin makes sending him there a waste of time. I've marked him on the rolls as Special Genin, but his title is actually Konoha's Alchemist."

The Hokage puffed on his pipe a moment. "When the time comes he will be ranked thusly and you both will be labeled Jonin, and like Naruto given Sannin level travel rights. No matter what, the three of you answer only to myself or the next Hokage…if you so choose."

Anko's eyes widened at the travel rights.

"There will be a monthly budget for the three of you. I would like to set up a base for you…"

"Wait till I'm trained Ojii-san." Naruto said from where he was sitting. He shared a look with Ed. "Once I'm done then fine…"

The Hokage knew that Naruto didn't want to abandon the den just yet and nodded.

"So at this moment I congratulate you all on your new team, and look forward to what you will all do in the near future."

**AN: And CUT! Hana won the poll, but I had so many PM's about Anko being joined and pointed out to me that three person cells were what Konoha used. Thus ends the poll. Next chapter is going to skip ahead a couple years, Konoha's Alchemist and his Jonin partners will be interacting with the class Naruto would have been in. I've already been bombarded by requests to have Naruto romantically attached to one or both women. We shall see. Not sure yet on that front. **

**Next Time on Fullmetal Fox, Episode 10: "Ed, why are you sniffing Anko's panties?" Just kidding.**


	10. Chapter 10

Fullmetal Fox

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

Chapter 10

**Eight Years Later**

Sixteen year old Naruto Uzumaki-Namikaze looked into the disaster that had once been an inn. The past eight years had changed him. He grew a bit taller and had to readjust his automail arm each time. He wore black pants and a shirt under a black trench coat. (Ed complained about him losing the red one on a mission, but Naruto said it drew attention.) "Yeah, coming from a guy who used to wear neon orange, that says a lot." Was Ed's reply.

His hair had grown longer and now was tied into a braid down his back his hitai-ate was loosely tied around his neck like a collar.

"Aren't you a bit young to be an investigator?" the innkeeper asked.

Naruto ignored him as he looked at the amount of damage. Behind him Anko was telling off the innkeeper.

"You say there were two of them?" Naruto asked.

"Yes sir. Big as you please. They weren't too bright, but they wiped out all my customers."

Naruto stopped seeing a foot indent in the wall.

"Its them." He said looking at Anko. "The Bash Brothers were here."

"Great. I left my howitzer back at Konoha." She muttered.

"The who?" The innkeeper inquired.

"Han and Cho Bash. Twins that are gifted with impervious skin and strength that is said close that of the legendary Sannin Tsunade."

"I thought they were in an Iwa prison?" Anko said as she saw Naruto looking at something. His gloved hand touched it and she saw him frown.

"What is it?" Anko asked.

"I'm not one hundred percent sure enough to say." Naruto said. "Where's Hana?"

"She's with the fur brigade sniffing the trail they left."

Naruto was on his feet and heading for the door.

"HEY! WHAT ABOUT MY INN?" the innkeeper yelled after them. Anko looked over her shoulder, "File your insurance claim like everyone else."

She followed the blond down the street.

XX

They caught up with Hana at the edge of town. The Haimaru Triplets were pacing back and forth, Ed was perched on Hana's shoulders.

"They aren't hard to track, they're leaving a trail a blind person could follow." She said as her teammates arrived. Her and Anko hadn't changed too much, filled out a bit, (became more beautiful in Naruto's opinion) and more deadly in their skills.

"That worries me." Naruto muttered as Ed leapt to his shoulder.

"Why?" the two tailed fox inquired.

"There was a powder back at the inn. If it is what I think it is, those two are more dangerous."

"What did you find?" Hana asked.

Naruto held up a vile that contained a sample he had collected and passed it to the Inuzuka tracker. She uncorked it and took a tentative sniff then jerked her head back.

"Sin!"

"If they're supped up on that, it's going to be a hundred times harder to stop them." Anko said. "This is bad. This stuff appeared two years back."

Naruto sighed. "Vote time. Do we chase the towers of power that are lit up on Sin and try and stop them from crossing back over the border, or we report back to the old man?"

Anko was bouncing on her heels and Naruto she wanted the go after the Bash Brothers. Hana looked up the trail. "I don't like letting a trail go cold."

Naruto sighed. "Alright, but if I wake up in the hospital again you both are wearing nurse outfits."

Hana laughed while Anko slapped him on the back. "There's the spirit runt."

The air went cold and Anko laughed as she avoided the kunai barrage.

Hana shook her head at that, they both knew Ed and Naruto were sensitive about their height, and Anko always went out of her way to tease them both and enjoy the chase after.

"He's getting really good at that shadow clone jutsu, he doesn't even need the seals any more." She muttered to her dogs. He could create a kage bunshin of himself or kunai without seals and it made him an army of one.

_Not to mention his other skills._ She thought as her and the Triplets followed the pair.

XX

They entered a rock valley and Naruto scowled. "This screams ambush." He muttered.

Hana an hour into the hunt had noticed that the trail seemed planned, as if it was deliberate.

Anko snorted. "The Bash Brothers aren't that bright."

"And they're hopped up on Sin, so that means there's someone else in charge."

"Hana stopped. "The trail vanishes here." She said. They were in dead end. Naruto shook his head. "Oh yeah, ambush." He muttered.

No sooner than he said that then boulders were tossed from above at them. The three Konoha investigators leapt out of the way. From above they heard an insane cackle.

"Mizuki." Naruto said seeing the white haired chunin.

"How'd he get out?" Anko asked.

Two years they had caught him trying to steal the Forbidden Scroll from the Hokage's Office. A short battle where Mizuki tried to tell Naruto about the Kyuubi got a good chuckle from all three. Naruto then beat him down with Taijutsu, and then used alchemy to create iron bands to bind him and they carried him back to Konoha and handed both to the Hokage.

"We meet again Kyuubi brat." Mizuki says from atop the surrounding cliffs. He was backed by the Bash Brothers on either side of him.

"How'd you get out of prison?" Naruto asked, he was curious, and Mizuki was slated for a twenty year term in prison for his actions.

"Killed the guard when he brought me dinner. Met up with these two at the border." He jerked a thumb at Han and Cho.

"So, why'd you come back to the land of fire? You could have been anywhere else."

"Bah. I'll rule this country from the shadows. There is a serious lack of criminal activity here." Mizuki said.

"Then I guess we'll have to take you down again."

Mizuki laughed. "You got lucky last time kid. Besides you can't take all three of us."

Cho and Han laughed and Naruto could see that their eyes were dilated. _Great their stoned out of their minds on Sin._

"Anko, Hana…"

"Yeah, yeah. We got dumb and dumber. Don't mess around with teme there." Anko said cutting off Naruto.

"Yeah, we'll tango with them till you got him bagged and tagged." Hana said.

"Let's dance." Naruto said as Mizuki dove down sending a large windmill shuriken ahead of him. The Bash Brothers slid down the side, each sporting a huge grin, both were armed with spiked clubs. _Be careful girls. They're both seven feet and hard as rock._ Naruto thought before batting aside the shuriken with his right hand and using the kunai that dropped from his left sleeve to his empty hand to block Mizuki as they were locked in combat seconds later.

XX

Hana and Anko had learned to work together over the last eight years, the Haimaru Triplets went in first, Anko summoned several snakes the same size to support them.

Both women avoided the club swipes by leaping high into the air. Anko higher, grabbed Hana's wrists and spun using a slingshot maneuver to fire the Inuzuka at Cho Bash. Her foot connected with the giants chest and while it staggered him, it did nothing else. Hana landed and winced as her foot throbbed. "Agh."

Anko sent shuriken at Han Bash and landed next to Hana. "You okay?"

"My foot hurts."

"Look brother, pretty-pretties." Cho said.

"I like pretty-pretties." Han said.

The dogs and snakes were attacking, but it was like mosquitoes, no effect, the only thing saving them was that they were faster than the Bash Brothers.

"Yeah, well you're ugly-ugly." Anko said as she launched several more shuriken. She spoke low to Hana, "Can you walk?"

"I can fucking run. Its not broke, but I wouldn't recommend hitting them like that again."

They dove aside as an overhand club strike would have connected where they were.

Anko's tossed several kunai and then her hands sped thru a series of seals, she finished and took a deep breath. "Fire Release: Dragon Fire Technique!"

Fire runs down the wires that were attached to the kunai and raced towards the Bash Brothers. Anko smiled as they struck true.

"I hope you like your idiot, well done." She said to Hana as they watched the Bash Brothers engulfed in flames.

XX

The kunai fight was close. "I'm impressed brat, you know how to fight. Is it you or the Kyuubi?" Mizuki said as he shoved Naruto back.

"Me. The Kyuubi is gone, has been for over eight years." Naruto said as he went for a leg sweep. Mizuki leapt into the air and tried for a kick, but Naruto got his arm up and blocked it.

"I find it hard to believe that someone your age is this good." Mizukie said as he tried to stab at Naruto only to have it blocked by Naruto's kunai.

"I don't care what you believe. I brought you in once Mizuki, I'll do it again."

"No you won't. I'm not going back." He made a series of hand signs and leapt back. "Earth Style: Earth Spike!"

Naruto leapt away as the ground he had been standing on became filled with spikes of earth and rock.

"Not bad teme."

Naruto smirked as a dozen Kage Bunshin surrounded him.

"How'd you do that? You didn't even use signs!" Mizuki was shocked.

"GET HIM!" The original ordered.

One grabbed another clone and spun him about by his arm and leg before firing him at Mizuki.

The former Chunin saw the clone coming and ducked, only to be kicked in the air by another one that had slid across the ground and kicked Mizuki into the air.

Another clone used one as a springboard and leapt up and kicked Mizuki higher.

He spun around in the air and saw saw four clones above him. They kicked him back and forth between them like a bounce ball. Another clone leapt from the back of one and with a flipping axe kick drove Mizuki back towards the ground where the original Naruto was waiting. Mizuki saw him holding a metal bat and he took up a position.

"Batter Up." Naruto said and swung hard, connecting with the freefalling Mizuki and sending him flying into the Cliffside hard. The shadow clones all shared a grin before dispersing.

"Home run." Naruto said as Mizuki was unconscious. "And the crowd goes wild." He then looked at Ed and the fox held up a sign with a 5 on it.

"What? Why only a five?" the blond asked the fox.

"Wasted effort and you played too much with him." Ed said, his fox features sneered.

The loud explosion had them both turn to see the Bash Brothers, while smoking were advancing on Anko and Hana.

"Not good."

Naruto traced a seal onto the bat and leapt into the air, vanishing with a shushin.

XX

Anko was pissed. One of her better fire jutsu's didn't work. It only burned their clothes.

Hana and her dogs had tried for the fang over fist combo, but that had no effect.

The girls were getting frustrated and the Bash Brothers were once more in strike range when Naruto appeared on Cho's shoulder.

"Pardon me, playing thru." He said and swung the bat as hard as he could like a golf club and connected with the side of the giants head. Naruto vanished as the bat exploded.

He reappeared next to Anko. "Damn, they got rocks for brains."

The side of Cho's head was scorched and bleeding from the ear, but still didn't fall over.

"Where's Mizuki?" Hana asked.

"He's become one with the canyon wall." Naruto said and both girls saw the crater where they could see Mizuki's leg hanging out and twitching every so often.

"Any ideas how to stop the ugly twins?"

"No." Anko said. "Nothing we have effects them.  
They took our best attack and other than scratching them up, nothing." Hana admitted.

"Your up gaki." Anko said giving him a nudge. "ANKO!" the blond yelled in protest. He stopped several feet in front of the Bash Brothers.

"Um, guys, can we talk about this?"

The mirror image sneers answered that. "Fine." Naruto said and clapped his hands together. "Don't say I didn't give you a chance." He slammed his palms to the ground as a hundred suits of armor appeared.

XX

The ANBU squad caught up hours later and found Naruto sitting atop the cage holding the Bash Brothers while Mizuki was in a similar one that gave him just enough room to sit down.

"Sir?" Gopher masked ANBU said saluting the blond.

"Hey I think you all lost something."

"Yeah, we picked their trail up…how…"

"Military secret Gopher."

The ANBU nodded and they saw Anko and Hana coming back from the village carrying several orders of food.

"Ah, dinner time. Come on Ed, the ANBU can deal with this." The blond said hopping off the cage. He stopped and looked at the Bash Brothers. "Now you both will behave for the ANBU and not cause them any trouble…right?"

"We be good." Han said.

"We go to prison and be good." Cho said nodding his head as well.

Naruto nodded. "Careful with Mizuki, I think I broke his hip."

Naruto joined Hana and Anko as they set up against a boulder. "That was fun." Hana said. Her ankle was wrapped and the dogs had been dismissed. Anko and Naruto were fine as was Ed.

"I brought you two bowls of ramen, but Eboshi said you need to eat fruit as well." Anko said.

Naruto groaned. "Eboshi-baa-chan is so mean." He muttered as he took his bowls. "Only allows me so much ramen a week."

Anko snorted. "That's cause you're so damn short. Hell the only one smaller than you is that chibi-plushy you call a companion."

Hana sighed as Ed launched himself across the way at her snarling and swearing. Hana grabbed a handful of Naruto's coat and held him back from joining in attacking Anko.

The ANBU watched the special unit, many of them sweat dropping under their masks.

Han and Cho looked on and shuddered. Mizuki still unconscious twitched as Anko's yell of "NOT THERE!" rang out across the valley.

Gopher shook his head wondering how these three caught the Bash Brothers and Mizuki when it looked like they were barely old enough to be out of the academy.

"CALL OFF THE DAMN FURBALL!" Anko yelled as Naruto was sitting with Hana eating, both seemed to smile at the free show.

XX

**Konoha**

"Well here's your pay. We never thought it would be the Bash Brothers involved." The Hokage said as Naruto stood before him. The last eight years had matured the boy in ways the Hokage would never think of.

"Well Ibiki can find out their routes for distributing Sin, we can close it down before it comes to Konoha in full force."

Sarutobi nodded as he lit his pipe.

"You coming for dinner tonight?" he asked.

"Can't. Hana says her mother wants me and Anko there tonight. Kiba's passed his Genin exam and you know how the Inuzuka's love to party."

Sarutobi smiled. He was happy that Naruto had found acceptance with some of the families and he had made friends with some of the kids his age. "And you thought the three of you teaching at the academy would never be recognized." The old man said and Naruto growled. "I still don't think the Uchiha brat should be allowed in the field. Did you read his psychology reports from Inoichi Yamanaka?"

Sarutobi sighed. Naruto and his team had been first on the scene to the Uchiha massacre and they nearly caught Itachi. Naruto had held back for fear of the Sharingan copying his abilities. They were still uncertain if it could, but the blond didn't want to take the chance after he'd seen Itachi on a mission copy a Kiri nin's fighting style down to the chakra enhancements.

"So you taking a pair on…" Sarutobi inquired.

"Aw, hell no old man. Besides, that would waste my teams skills." Naruto said.

"Explain your reasoning."

"We would be stuck training fresh genin, and we wouldn't be able to perform our investigations. Hell if a Genin was with us on this last one, they would have been dead. The Bash Brothers are solid as a mountain. If I didn't have my abilities you might very well be burying the three of us as is. You've got to admit Ojii-san, we don't do safe. Hell last month we had that mission to Iwa. Let me tell you, they feared my father, but I put a whole new fear into them."

Naruto's reputation as Konoha's Fullmetal Fox Alchemist had spread over the last eight years. His squads liberation of Snow last year was still the talk of the council meetings, and the representative from Snow was asking on the Princesses behalf for Naruto to return to Snow when he's able.

"And if we hadn't chased Orochimaru out of Rice, you can bet his scheme for that hidden village would have been troublesome."

Sarutobi had to agree with that, but winced as Naruto used the same phrase as the Nara.

Another of Naruto's accomplishments was a year after being teamed with Anko and Hana he'd removed the curse seal on Anko. Eboshi laughed when Anko kissed Naruto so hard the blond had passed out with a grin and nose bleed. The nose bleed had been from the fact that Anko had been topless and pressed against him, proving the fact the blond liked women and got endless teasing from the Hokage's doctor, as well as Asuma who had been there as well.

"Be that as it may, I have an odd number of students." The Hokage said. "And I think your squad would benefit from the skills of these two."

Naruto narrowed his eyes. "Who?"

The Hokage slid the files over the desk and Naruto read them. "You're shitting me."

XX

Hana and Anko met Naruto at the dango stand. He didn't smile as he slid the pay vouchers across the table to them.

"What's the matter Naruto?" Hana asked.

"Yeah, you should be happy. We have an Inuzuka party to go to tonight." Anko said savoring her dango and a small jug of sake.

"The old man has a new assignment for us." The blond said stealing Anko's sake and chugging it from the jug.

"What? Already?" Hana was surprised.

"Usually we get a week off." Anko agreed.

"Did Ibiki get something from Mizuki or the Bash Brothers?" Hana asked.

"No, not yet. And if he does it's going to ANBU to deal with." Naruto said. "Well, what the hell is the mission then?" Anko asked putting her skewer down.

"He wants us to take two Genin from the current graduates and add them to our team."

Hana and Anko shared a look. "Is that all?"

Naruto sighed and pulled out the files and slid them across the table. Anko grabbed them and flipped them open.

"You're shitting me." She said.

"No."

"What did you tell him?" Hana asked as she read over Anko's shoulder.

"I'd talk to you both first. We have until team placements at the end of the week to decide."

"What do you think, Hell no." Anko.

"Can we pick someone else?" Hana asked.

"Asuma wants the Ino-Shika-Cho team. Kurenai has demanded Hinata Hyuga." He sighed. "That leaves us Shino Amburame, your brother Kiba, Sakura Haruno and the Uchiha."

"Tell him no. besides, the council wants Kakashi Hatake to train the emo-bitch boy." Anko said.

"I agree." Naruto said. "But the old man feels we'd be better fit for him."

Hana and Anko shared a look. "We can't trust him. And once his eye activates, none of our personal skills would be safe."

Naruto nodded. There had been many times in the last couple years before his murdering of his family that Itachi had followed them around and watched them. "I know. The last thing we need is an Uchiha learning about Alchemy."

Hana nodded. "Its bad enough what we found in Rice. Orochimaru has a very basic concept, if he ever learned your secrets…" both shuddered as they'd watched Naruto study and train over the years.

"And the second one…" Anko said. "Well, Ojii-san hinted that Kurenai was eyeing Shino and Kiba for her team."

Anko snorted. "Too much specialization it sounds like. Asuma should break up the Ino-Shika-Cho idea as many people already know their patterns thanks to their fathers fame as a team."

Hana looked at the smaller file. "Hana-chan?" Naruto asked.

"We're going to get stuck with this aren't we?"

"No. If we tell Ojii-san no, and why he'll agree to it." Naruto said.

"And you can't think of a reason?" Anko said. "Then lie."

Naruto smiled. "We'll talk about this more during the week. We have until team assignments to make a decision. If we phrase it right we could get two Genin of our choice."

Hana sighed and Anko shook her head. "I don't want to be around the Uchiha brat, period and my mind isn't changing on that."

Naruto looked at the files. "Me either."

**AN: Their time over the past eight years will be mentions or flashbacks just like in Fullmetal Alchemist. Will the Alchemist team take on a pair of Genin? Will they be hung over from the Inuzuka party? Will Ed ever stop attacking people for calling him short? Next time on Fullmetal Fox, Episode 11: Ed Spit that out, you don't know where he's been.**

**PS: Someone asked about who created cliffhangers. "That would be the French". Joking. Pirates of the Caribbean is a bad influence.**

**PSS: Laptop died, gonna be MIA for two weeks give or take. Sorry, make it up to you all as I am writing in a notebook and will type it up when I get a laptop that works.**


	11. Chapter 11

Fullmetal Fox

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

Chapter 11

"I hate Monday's." Naruto groaned. _I hate hangover's even more._ He thought as he used his metal arm to cover his eyes, the coolness of the metal easing his throbbing head.

He blinked realizing he wasn't in his bed and he felt someone stir against his side as a leg and arm were draped over him.

"MMm." A soft feminine moan had him tense.

Turning his head he saw that he was in bed with a very naked Inuzuka Matriarch.

_Hana is going to kill me for this, I just know it. _Naruto thought as Tsume snuggled her face into his neck.

"Back to sleep pup, too early for more." She muttered and he had to agree. _She won't let the others kill me…I hope._

XX

Around noon Naruto was sitting at the table in the kitchen and Tsume was smirking. "Cradle robber." He muttered.

The head of the Inuzuka clan smirked. "Rocked your world all night didn't I kiddo."

Naruto blushed at that. "You've got nothing to be ashamed of." Tsume said with a leer.

They both turned to see Hana stagger into the kitchen wearing a pair of loose pants and an oversized shirt, her eyes were bloodshot and she looked like she rolled out of bed and threw on the first things she could find. (Which was true.)

"Hana-chan." Naruto said sipping the very black and very strong coffee that Tsume made.

"Mother, you violated my teammate…AGAIN!" the younger Inuzuka woman hissed sitting down.

"Well you keep letting him slip thru your fingers…" Tsume said with a leer. "He's of age and he's damn good at pleasing a woman."

"MOM!" Hana said looking green.

Tsume laughed seeing her daughter blush and Naruto match her. "He keeps it up you might call him daddy…unless you do something on missions that already have you calling him that."

Tsume laughed again as both Naruto and her daughter fled the kitchen.

Naruto and Hana sat on the porch, both hissed at the bright thing in the sky called the sun.

"Well, I ended up in your mom's bed. You ended up in yours…wonder where Anko-chan ended up?" the blond asked.

Hana snorted. "Kiba was hitting on her like no tomorrow. I think he's still pinned to the wall outside his room where she staked him with a butt load of kunai."

Naruto laughed at the mental image and winced as his head throbbed in pain. "Remind me why I get drunk here and end up in your mothers bed?"

Hana sipped her own coffee. "For someone so smart, you can't drink for shit."

Silence reigned between the two for a bit before Hana spoke. "Are you really worried that the Uchiha can copy your alchemy?"

Naruto looked at her wondering what brought this on. "Not really since I don't use hand signs and the energy is different than chakra. I spent three nights in the library after the tournament learning about the Sharingan copy eye. I still don't want them to learn anything I can do. They can copy movement, and if they learn about alchemic circles and runes, then that could be troublesome if they look it up. With Sasuke the last one here in Konoha, I don't want to chance it regardless. I'd seen Itachi copy movements of others with those eyes of his."

Hana nodded. "I don't want the Uchiha, and I really don't want Kiba. Do we really have to take a pair of Genin?"

Naruto sighed. "No. But Ojii-san hinted it would be a favor to him."

Hana snorted. "I'd rather take Konohamaru and his little friends."

Naruto smirked. His teammates had visited the Hokage residence to get him one morning and found Naruto baby sitting three kids. Anko had laughed as Hana dug Naruto out from under the bodies of the three kids.

"They start the Academy soon." Naruto said. "I almost pity Iruka."

Hana snorted. "No you don't. your glad he's teaching and not us again."

"True." Naruto said.

The morning silence was broken by "DAMN IT! ED! BRING THAT BACK HERE!"

Across the compound Ed came flying out a dog door, in his mouth was something very familiar to both Hana and Naruto who groaned and covered his face with a glove covered right hand. "Ero-fox." Naruto muttered and moments later Anko was out the door wearing a bed sheet and carrying a kunai.

"She's going to skin him one of these days." Hana said as they watched the pair race around the compound.

"She's doing very well for being barefoot and wearing a sheet." Hana noted.

Naruto was about to agree when Ed changed course and raced at them, leapt over Naruto and entered the main house.

Sadly Anko's leap was messed up by her legs being tangled in her bed sheet and she crashed into Naruto, taking them both to the ground.

"Good morning Anko-chan." Naruto groaned as she sat up. He froze.

"I'm going to skin that damn furball one of these days. He keeps stealing my fishnet."

Hana was looking at her.

"What?"

Anko felt something and looked down to see a bright red Naruto, and she realized what she was sitting on.

"Really Naruto-kun." She purred as she traced a finger over his chest. "I didn't know you thought of me like that."

Laughter from the door way revealed Tsume with Anko's mesh in one hand and a sheepish looking Ed in the other being held by the scruff of his neck.

"Did you two loose something?"

Naruto was unable to speak as Anko was grinding into him and he saw the smirk on her face.

He made a sound and Hana reached out and grabbed Anko by the ear, pulled her off.

"Get off him. He's been ridden once already, and we need to check out the runts at the academy."

Anko pouted. "Your mom always gets there first."

Naruto lay there for a minute as the girls went to get dressed. Tsume dropped Ed on Naruto's chest. "They both care for you, you know that runt."

"Yeah." Naruto said softly, ignoring the runt comment.

"And kiddo, trust me when I say you can please both of them if last night was any indication."

Naruto blushed again as she went back into the house laughing. "Is it me Ed, or all adults perverts?"

The fox on his chest looked at him. "You're asking me? I'm millennia old."

"And a super pervert." Naruto muttered sitting up and grabbing Ed by his scruff and held him at eye level. "Stop peeping on Anko and Hana, and stop stealing their clothes."

Ed looked abashed. "Well you won't let me go out and have fun, and that hag in there told me if I even looked at one of her clans dogs she'd boil my balls and fry my scrotum, and that's before she'll make it really hurt."

Naruto sighed as he stood, dropping Ed to the ground. "I'll be back in a bit. Find where I left my clothes."

"Are we really going to watch the kiddies?"

"Maybe. I do need to check in on the Den and the apartment."

Ed chuckled. "Living with two hot Jonin, I'm surprised you can blush still."

Naruto sighed. "I'm surprised I still have blood in my body." He muttered having walked in on both women coming out of the shower.

_Should have added another bathroom to the damn place._ Naruto thought as he found his clothes, he could hear Tsume yelling at Kiba about treating girls with respect as she took him down off the wall.

_And to think, she's just as loud during sex._ Naruto thought as a mental image of Tsume passed thru his mind.

_I so need more male friends._

XX

They didn't visit the academy, instead they were exploiting Anko's favorite pastime…

Annoy Ibiki.

"I'll pay you an S rank to get her out of here." Ibiki said as Anko tormented an Iwa-nin they had captured.

"But she's having fun." Naruto said as he and Hana shared a bag of chocolate dates.

The man's scream filled the room. "Oh, look she brought out her snake whip." Hana said and Naruto turned to see Anko armed with the whip that was topped by six living vipers.

"Anko." Naruto called out.

"What?" she asked turning to face them.

"Why don't you let Ibiki have a moment with the nice Iwa ninja before he soils himself."

Anko pouted but headed back towards them while Ibiki went to speak with the nin.

"If we get Genin, can I torture them?" Anko asked swiping a handful of dates.

"N…maybe." Naruto said. The three left the interrogation room. "We agree we don't want the Uchiha."

Both women nodded. "And none of the others fit well with us either, correct?" Naruto said as they walked.

"Damn straight." Anko said.

"Then, our only call is to tell Ojii-san no." Naruto said.

Anko bounced from foot to foot and raised her hand.

"Bathroom's over there Anko." Hana said and the snake jonin slapped her arm. "Not that. Tell him we'll work with Kurenai's team once and a while, maybe Asume if he's not being too lazy."

Naruto nodded. "And avoid Hatake and the Uchiha."

"Bingo. Now, what are we going to do with the rest of the week?"

Hana shrugged. "We could continue working on the apartment. I'm sick of sleeping at mom's."

"I'm sick of sleeping at your mom's as well." Anko said. She'd been kicked out of her apartment when she threatened the building manager for disrespecting her teammate, she never told Hana or Naruto.

"I was thinking of working on the den a bit…"

"No. No way. You were allowed the sewer home for a while, but this is bullshit. You have a room at the apartment." Anko said, then she got a leer on her face. "Or is it you want to slip into Tsume's room more often?"

Hana chased Anko down the street, Naruto sighed. _I'll never understand women, and from Ed's memories he doesn't either._

With a sigh he chased after the pair.

XX

Friday rolled around far too quickly for everyone that wasn't a Genin. Naruto and his teammates stood before the desk of the Hokage, along with numerous other Jonin.

"Well Naruto, did you and your teammates decide?"

Naruto nodded his head. "We have Lord Hokage." To both Naruto and Sarutobi it felt odd hearing that phrase, but appearances must be held before others.

"Team Alchemy has to regretfully decline the position to train Genin as we looked over the files you presented us with, and none of them would work well within our dynamics."

A scoff had Naruto turn to see Kakashi Hatake his head buried in a book. "Something to add Kakashi?"

The one eyed Jonin looked at Naruto. "You're the same age, and yet you think you have the right to make decisions."

Naruto smirked. "Jealous Hatake? The only person in this room that outranks me is the Hokage and I answer only to him. Don't think I forgot that stunt you pulled six months ago."

Kakashi closed his book. "You have far too much freedom and power. I was asked by the council to watch and report."

"Which makes me question your loyalties to the Hokage if you go around him and answer to a political body that is only there to advise him." Naruto said. Anko and Hana both turned to face Kakashi as well, while the other Jonin in the room backed off.

"They have a right to know the resources that Konoha has."

"Negative. My skills are mine, my clans and my childrens when and if I have any. Just because you stole a bloodline from your dying teammate, doesn't mean its open season on every one else's abilities. Next time I find you in my apartment Hatake, I can guarantee you will be a real Cyclops."

Kakashi's eye narrowed. "Is that a threat?"

"No, a promise, and you know I keep my promises."

"ENOUGH!" The Hokage roared. "Kakashi, you were warned and punished. Naruto, stand down."

"As you wish." The blond said as he turned back towards the Hokage.

"I had hoped you would take a team. But alas…" the Hokage said.

"Well the girls and I are willing to work with a team led by Kurenai and Asume…if he can get his ass up before noon."

"Hey!" from the smoking Jonin.

"Runt."

"Lazy ass." Naruto fired back biting down on the impulse to launch himself at Asuma for the 'runt' comment.

"Why not my team?"

"Did you say something Kakashi?" Naruto asked winking at Gai who was off to the side.

"YOSH! Seems like you have a rival even hipper than you Kakashi!" Gai said and the others in the room smirked.

"Whatever." Hatake muttered.

The Hokage handed Asuma, Kurenai and Kakashi their team folders, then several other Jonin came forward and took theirs.

Once the Hokage dismissed them, Naruto and his team remained behind.

"We got word of the drugs coming in from a route that passes thru Suna." The Hokage began. "Ibiki had Mizuki crying inside of a minute and the Bash Brothers told us everything down to the fact they wet the bed until they were eight…well the one called Cho admits he still wets the bed."

Anko and Hana wrinkled their noses. "We didn't need to know that Ojii-san." Naruto said.

"Your team is to head out, you'll be joined by Gekko Hayate and a pair of Chunin, Kotetsu and Izumo."

Anko groaned. "Anyone but those two. How about you give us Gai and his Genin team instead?"

Hana snickered while Naruto sighed. "So we get the walking disease and the two stooges…we'll meet them at the gate in an hour."

The Hokage nodded and sent a messenger pigeon to inform the other half of the team.

"Hayate will have the mission profile and details, you are to study them on the way and destroy the file." The Hokage said.

He stood. "Good luck."

The three nodded and left out the window. "Is it too hard to ask for them to use the door?" the Hokage muttered as he watched them go.

_**AN: **_**I'M BACK!! Geek Squad couldn't fix my laptop, got a new one. They said they couldn't replace the parts as they weren't designed for that brand any more. Oh well. Enjoy.**

**New mission, no Genin and we'll see what they do next. Next time on Fullmetal Fox: Episode 12: ED! That's not sugar!**


	12. Chapter 12

Fullmetal Fox

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

Chapter 12

"Are we there yet?"

Hana and Naruto shared a look, wondering if they could get away with killing the two Chunin.

"Yo, disease, take care of your toddlers." Anko called to the coughing Jonin.

"Hey, we're not children." Kotetsu said.

"Fooled us." Hana fired back.

Naruto sighed. It had been a good at the idea for a double team mission. _I swear the old man is punishing us for not choosing a Genin team by putting us with those two._

Naruto usually liked the pair of Chunin. But on missions he was ready to summon Al and have him and Ed deal with the pair.

"Hey, 'ruto?" Izumo called.

"NO WE'RE NOT THERE YET!" the blond spun about and yelled at the Chunin. Hayate snorted as he continued leaping from tree to tree. Hana, with Ed on her shoulder shook her head knowing that the pair of Chunin were going to end up tied to a tree naked and left for the insects covered in honey if they kept pushing.

"Uh…wasn't going to ask that, but that'll be okay to." Izumo said and shared a look with Kotetsu.

"Then what did you want?" Naruto asked as he leapt to the next tree.

"Is it true you bagged Tsume Inuzuka."

The hail of shuriken from Hana, Anko and Naruto left the Chunin pinned to the tree trunk while the others kept moving.

Kotetsu stopped and pulled his friend free shaking his head.

"What?"

"You should know better to ask that question." Kotetsu said pocketing the weapons to return them to the trio.

"Hey, you were thinking it too." Izumo said once he was free. "And she is hot for someone her age…"

Kotetsu sighed. "True. But I think Hana and or Anko will kill any other woman that gets within arms reach for something like that. I heard they had a very long talk with Ayame from Ichiraku's Ramen. I heard that it took her two weeks to be willing to leave her fathers apartment after said discussion."

They started leaping again. "Not to mention that foreign girl they handed over to Ibiki."

Both Chunin shuddered. "I think I agree with Shikaku Nara." Izumo said.

"Yeah. Women are troublesome." Kotetsu finished as they hurried to catch up with their team.

XX

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT!" Naruto said a day later as they looked at the smoldering forms of Anko and Hana.

"Well who else blew up the lab?" Anko hissed.

Naruto spun and pointed a finger at Izumo and Kotetsu. "THEY DID IT!"

Both Chunin who were sifting through the remains of the drug lab that they had been raiding froze.

"LIAR!" both yelled as they backed up putting Hayate between them and the irate kunoichi that were covered in ashes and smoking clothes.

Ed was on the ground, a slight flame was on the tip of his tails and he was growling at the pair.

Hayate seeing his delicate position shushined away and appeared next to Naruto.

"You both were playing with exploding tags near the chemicals." He said coughing.

Hana growled. "Come here." She said crooking her finger. Anko said nothing pulling out a kunai. "You shitstains not only blew up the evidence, and allowed those fuckers to get away with your games, but you damn near blew us up as well."

Izumo looked at his partner. "Heh…who knew those chemicals were that sensitive?"

Naruto sighed. "Maybe the big ass warning signs should have been your first clue."

Hayate coughed. "As much as I'm sure I'd enjoy watching you pound those two stupider than they are, what shall we do now?" he asked finishing with another cough.

"Either we head to Suna and see if we pick up the trail, or we report back that the lab and all the evidence was destroyed." Naruto said. "Truthfully I'd prefer to return to the old man with something other than a mission failure."

"But Suna…" Kotetsu started to say but a glare from Anko and Hana shut him up. "We'll see if we can pick up any leads there as the routes passed through there." Naruto continued. He looked at Hayate. "We should split out team here." The coughing Jonin nodded. "We'll report back about what's going on…"

"Aw, can't we go with them?" Izumo asked.

"NO!" five shouts were the unanimous answer as Ed finally noticed his tail was still smoldering and put it out.

"Tell Ojii-san we'll follow what we find and send word if we need help…preferably not those two."

Hayate coughed and nodded. "They're going to be on long term guard duty after this."

Both Chunin winced. "Not the gate, please, anywhere but the gate." Izumo whined.

"You could be teaching at the academy, with the little kids." Naruto said and both paled.

"Gate duty's fine." Kotetsu said as they left with Hayate after wishing the others luck.

"Hana-chan, see if the three can find a trail. Anko-chan…"

"I know, keep digging. I swear I'm going to give those two a kunai enema. Playing hot potato with a live exploding tag near dangerously marked materials." The snake Jonin muttered as she went back to where they thought the office was and started moving rubble.

Naruto agreed. _How those two made Chunin…kami._ He continued his own excavations looking for something, anything they could use to link the dealers with their product.

XX

Two hours of digging with Kage Bunshins doing the heavy lifting unearthed several documents that were scorched as well as a battered disc for the computers. Sealing them away, he looked and found Anko with several more. "I think this is it." She said. "Everything else went kaboom with the chemicals."

Hana had returned and was brushing out Ed's fur, she'd trimmed the burnt fur and soothed him while the other two dug around.

"Picked up a trail. It heads towards Suna, but its slow, the person was injured, from the step marks we picked up the left leg was mangled."

Naruto sighed. He focused his will and after slapping his hands together and slammed them to the ground.

Anko and Hana watched as the familiar suit of armor rose from the ground.

"Hey Al." they chorused. During the years training together, Al had become a part of their team.

"Oh…Hey Anko-chan, Hana-chan, brothers." Alphonse said waving his steel hand.

"Al, pay attention." Naruto said getting the living armor's red glowing eyes on him. "I need you to catch up with Hayate and the two stooges and have them give this information to the old man. They are to give it to no one else."

Al took the charred documents and computer disc. "Did you loose your temper again?" Al asked slipping the documents into his empty chest cavity.

"NO I DID NOT LOOSE MY TEMPER!" Naruto yelled at the armor.

"Steady brother. I think you've been hanging around Ed-nii-san way too much. Your tempers on a hair trigger, and with you being so small…"

The temperature in the area dropped and both Hana and Anko stepped back seeing the deadly look in Naruto's eyes.

"Oh this isn't going to end well." Both women said at the same time.

Ed sat on his haunches and sighed. "Man, my family is not right in the head…"

He watched as the blond and the armor went into a taijutsu fight. He shook his head as Naruto slammed his hands together and a huge cannon appeared out of the ground.

"Tsk. I was never that hot headed." Ed said before the explosion filled the air.

"I'M SORRY!" Al's yell filled the air as the cannon took aim again, the soul armor rushed away.

"I'LL GET THESE TO HAYATE-SAN! BYE!" the armor cleared the wreckage of the base with ease that made both women jealous.

Naruto panted and growled. "Oh he is so going to get it when we get home."

Hana sighed. "If your done abusing your younger brother, how about we get on the trail of the injured survivor."

"Yeah." Anko said. She then smirked. "And perhaps when we finish this mission we can have a private party this time, what do you say Naru-kun?"

Naruto blushed at the implications Anko's wink meant and Hana's answering growl.

Naruto closed his eyes.

_Tsume writhing under him, her growls as…_

Naruto's eyes snapped open and he squeaked. "Come on, lets go." He scooped up Ed and rushed away.

Behind him the two were talking.

"Must you do that. Its bad enough my mother…" Hana growled.

"So, next time grab him first."

"Wha? He's…"

Anko smirked. "Hot, powerful, blue eyes to die for, a ninja."

"I was going to say sixteen, nearly seventeen." Hana said.

Anko looked at her. "Han, he's old enough to die for the village, he's old enough to do other things. Your mom waited till he was sixteen at least before getting some. If your annoying brother hadn't gotten between us last time, I would have beaten your mother there and Naruto-kun would have woken up in my bed this time."

Hana stopped walking. "Get over it Hana. We've known him for eight years. You do the same thing I do and compare every guy we meet to him. Even unintentionally. Yeah, he may be bumbling and clueless, but how many times has he been there when you or I after a bad date cried on his shoulders and then we hear later that said former date was entered into the hospital?"

Hana nodded remembering Ebisu's comments and now the Jonin won't be anywhere near her, he even ran in fear that time she popped up next to him during a meeting.

"We could share." Anko said, and laughed as Hana tripped over her own feet. "Your mom's not quiet on what kind of lover Naruto is. At sixteen he's made your mom howl. This next batch of Genin, one of those skinny little trollops might catch his eye as they're his age. Do you want one of the Uchiha's fangirls to set her sights on him and end up crushing him?"

Hana shook her head. She couldn't stand it when her own mother got around Naruto, but her mother was her Alpha. _If any of those skinny little bitches sniffs around him I'll shake them by the scruffs of their necks and put a boot up their scrawny asses._ Hana thought.

Anko smiled. She'd been thinking of this since Naruto's sixteenth birthday. She'd hidden herself in her apartment when the thought first hit her. She then spoke with Eboshi who laughed and had told her she thought that it would happen.

_Yeah, I'm ten years his senior, but when he held me while I cried that night, I felt safe for the first time, and he's always there, and he's defended me against everyone, even when I was a bitch to him that first year._

Anko looked over at Hana who was deep in thought now. _I know he's heir to two clans, and the restoration laws are going to hit him when he's eighteen, but if I an Hana are there, we won't have to share with anyone else. And I trust her. She beside Kurenai and Naruto has become my best friend in eight years. If I have to share Naruto, Hana will do. I'd ask Nai-chan, but she's sniffing around Asuma._

Shaking her head she saw Naruto was a bit ahead of them, Ed was on his shoulder and she could tell the two were deep in conversation.

_(snort) Knowing those two its about alchemy, or some other project they're working on. If it weren't for Tsume, I'd think Naruto wasn't interested in women._

She thought about the other night and how tired her fingers got as she heard the two of them. _I doubt that the Inuzuka compound, even as drunk as they were slept until they were done._ She snickered and Hana looked at her.

"Awoooo." Anko said and Hana blushed.

Anko laughed as she rushed to catch up to their blond teammate. Hana thought about what her mother had said, and what Anko had said.

_Do I really…could it work?_ Her eyes fell on Naruto who turned towards Anko who slapped him on his other shoulder. His soft smile warmed her heart.

_After this mission. I'll talk with him about it after this mission._

**AN: Next stop Suna. AWOOOOOOOO-GA…chuga chuga. All aboard the crazy train. Next time on Fullmetal Fox, Episode 13: You'll put your eye out with all that sand.**


	13. Chapter 13

Fullmetal Fox

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

Chapter 13

**Team Alchemy Mission Report:**

Naruto sighed as he sat in the hotel room looking at the mission report he was filling out. He could hear Hana and Anko talking and laughing in the next room over.

"Man, at least they're in a good mood." He said and looked over to see Ed asleep on the bed, the fox's head resting on the pillow, the twin tails twitching every so often.

With a sigh, Naruto went back to the report.

**After parting from Hayate and his team, and sending the files we found back to Konoha via a secure means, we continued on to Suna, following the trail of an injured person, who we later learned was a missing nin by the name of Aoi.**

**Upon reaching Suna we were detained by the Kazekage's guards who thought we were there on an assassination mission.**

(Flashback)

"Hands in the air."

Naruto and his team paused at the gates of Suna and looked at the armed guards.

"What? We didn't do anything wrong." Naruto said slowly raising his hands into the air.

"Liar. We've had reports that a trio of ninja matching your description was coming here to assassinate the Kazekage."

"That's bullshit." Anko said. "We're a special investigative team out of Konoha. We're tracking a group of rogue ninja who are trafficking in exotic and illegal drugs."

"We've just left the last place following a trail of…"

"Shut it Konoha scum." The gate guard ordered and rammed his the butt of his pike into Naruto's gut doubling him over.

"HEY!" Anko snarled and was held back by Hana who was glaring at the guard. "This is how you treat allies?" She asked.

"Allies? As if." The guard said.

Naruto straightened and glared at the guard. "I'll remember you said that."

Ed on the ground was growling at the man.

"What's going on here?"

they all saw a Jonin making his way to the gate.

"Nothing sir. We have some assassins here trying to gain access to the city." The guard said.

"Liar. We are from Konohagakure and we are investigating drug trafficking operation. We've followed an injured nin here, but your gate guards say we're not allies but assassins without checking our identification papers."

"Baki-san, this…"

"Is what he said true?" the Jonin asked.

The gate guards looked uncertain, before the other one bowed his head. "Yes sir."

Baki took the travel papers from Naruto and looked them over. "Konoha's special team…Hm, I've heard reports about you." Baki said handing the papers back. "Your first time to Suna?"

"Yeah. Now about the nin we were tracking, he'd have come in two hours ago, his left leg was mangled."

Baki looked at the guards. "Well? You heard him."

"But sir…"

"Our allies require our aid. Would you expect less of them if we were performing an investigation."

The gate guards looked down but wisely kept their mouths shut.

"We…we just came on duty sir."

"Then check the logs and find who was on duty." Baki ordered. He looked at the three Konoha nin. "I am sorry for the reception you had. We've had several assassination attempts on the Kazekage, and its been very…smothering atmosphere here as of late."

Naruto waved it off. "Its understandable. I think if anything happened to the Hokage, Konoha would tear apart at the seams looking for those responsible." _And I'd transfigure whoever did it into the biggest pile of shit ever seen._ Naruto thought.

Baki walked with them. "We'll put you up at the hotel, and pay for it…"

"No, there's no need. It was a simple misunderstanding." Naruto said. "Just get us that info and we'll continue our investigation."

(End Flashback)

**Of course it took them several hours to get said information to us, and it took us another hour to track him. Seems tracking in the desert for nin dogs is hard as sand goes up their noses. **

Naruto paused, his eyes looked out the window he sighed and went back to writing his report.

**We foud Aoi hiding in a seedy part of Suna filled with thieves, beggars and a lot of unscrupulous types of people. As we thought his leg was badly damaged and the street doctor was having trouble healing him.**

**Needless to say you will find Aoi's head in the scroll with this report along with the legendary lightening blade Raijin, it is time to return the legendary blade back to where it belongs. We however were not responsible for Aoi's death. It was in fact the youngest son of the Kazekage who killed the missing nin.**

**Lord Hokage…The Kazekage's son, Gaara Sabuku is the container for the one tailed demon Shukaku.**

(Flashback)

"Surrender now and you will be taken back to Konoha to stand trial." Naruto said as the former leaf nin snarled as he pulled out the legendary blade he stole when he fled Konoha.

"You won't be taking me anywhere when you're dead." Aoi said as he balanced on his good leg.

"Your good, but you're not that good." Naruto said while Anko went left and Hana and the three guarded to only door. The street doctor backed into the farthest corner he could away from this.

"No fighting, no fighting." He kept screaming.

"I am a god amongst men. I hold the legendary Raijin and none of you brats will stop me or apprehend me." Aoi said.

He then leapt out the window.

"Didn't see that coming." Naruto said as he went to pursue.

"What about us?" Anko yelled as he leapt out the window.

Hana and Anko shared a look and with the Trio of dogs and a two tailed fox they raced back down the stairs to street level.

"Aoi has got to be as dumb as Kiba." Hana muttered.

"Why?" Anko asked.

"He's leaving a trail of blood a dog with a sinus congestion and blindness in both eyes can follow." The Inuzuka said as the dogs bayed and they were running.

Both girls were amazed how far Aoi managed to get when they found him in the center of town. Naruto was on his knees as Aoi held the lightening blade against him and laughed.

"FOOL! Not even Konoha's grand interrogator could catch me. A child such as yourself is nothing. You aren't in my league!" Aoi yelled out.

Citizens who were watching screamed and Anko saw a young boy about Naruto's age entering the village square. He had a large gourd on his back and red hair.

Hana heard several of the locals call him Gaara and urge others to run.

"What's going on?" Anko asked.

"Not sure, but they're scared of the red head." Hana said.

Ed meanwhile was at Naruto's side as he was laying on the ground twitching from all the electricity that had passed thru him.

"Come on bro, get up." Ed said patting him with a paw. "Aoi's going to get away."

Naruto struggled to sit up, his muscles didn't want to cooperate with him. Anko and Hana were there and helped him up, both kept him on his feet as they watched Aoi.

"Out of my way brat." He snarled to the red head.

"Mother says she smells your blood." The boy identified as Gaara said, his dark gaze landing on Aoi.

"You will justify my existence." He continued.

"I will justify your death!" Aoi yelled as he went to stab Gaara, but a hand of sand erupted from the ground and engulfed his arm, the Raijin dropping as the sounds of breaking bone filled the air along with Aoi's scream of pain.

"You are not worth my time." Gaara said. "You are worthless and weak."

Sand swirled up around Aoi stopping below his head, his body wrapped in a cocoon of sand, the Raijin at his feet crackled.

"Let me go!" Aoi was foaming at the mouth. "I'll kill you, you worthless brat!"

Gaara's shadowed eyes didn't twitch as he raised his hand. "Sabaku Kyu!" he intoned as the sand engulfed Aoi fully, his yells muffled under the sand.

Gaara squeezed his hand closed. "Sabaku Soso!" he intoned and the sound of bones being crushed filled the air and blood dripped from the sand onto the ground.

Gaara turned and was walking away, the sand that was around Aoi dissolved into the ground, Naruto and his teammates noting that most of it followed Gaara like a lost puppy and made its way into the gourd on his back.

"Whoa." Anko said her eyes wide. "I've never seen anything like that before."

Ed spoke. "He's a jinchuriki. He holds the one tailed demon, Shukaku."

Naruto was silent for a moment. "Anko, get Aoi's head and the Raijin. Hana…follow him at a distance, but keep your distance. See where he goes."

"What are we going to do?"

Naruto remained quiet.

(End Flashback)

**It is with this discover Lord Hokage, that I am going to use my knowledge of seals and alchemy to try and help Gaara. From what we've studied in the last three days, his seal is unstable, and he suffers from insomnia. From interviews with citizens of Suna and their own ninja, he is feared, the Kazekage treats him as nothing more than a weapon…a weapon that could be used on Konoha from some of the mutterings Anko and Hana heard at a local bar. Be careful Ojii-san, things aren't right here. I'm hoping if I can fix Gaara's seal, I can make an ally. I'm sending Al to carry this to you personally. I will either report in person next time, or…if I fail, Ed will be reporting, as I will either be dead, or charged with some crime. It sounds like the Kazekage is not himself.**

**Sincerely,**

**The Fullmetal Fox **

**Captain of Team Alchemy**

Naruto affixed his seal to the bottom and then sealed the scroll. He put it on the desk next to the one with Aoi's head and the Raijin.

He went thru the motions and clapped his hands together and moments later the shiny metal armor was before him.

"Naru-nii-san!" Al said. Then paused. "You're not going to shoot me are you from before?"

Naruto smiled. "No Al. I'm sorry about before. I'm doing better at keeping my temper, but sometimes it slips."

The suit of armor hugged him. "Its okay brother. You have both your own and Ed's tempers to restrain."

After the armor let him go he held up the three scrolls. "Alphonse, I need you to take these to the Hokage personally. Make no stops and allow no one else to read them."

Al took the scrolls and slipped them into his chest. "Anko and Hana have their reports as well, so you might want to get them before you go."

Al nodded and went next door. Naruto sighed as he pulled out his journal and looked at the rune and array's he and Ed had spent the last eight years working on. "Well, we're about to see if we can perform a miracle." He said looking at the sleeping fox.

"I just hope we're as smart as we think we are and this works."

Naruto sighed as he prepared the message to meet with Gaara and hoped the sand user wouldn't kill him before he could talk with him.

**AN: Heh, oh yeah. Next time on Fullmetal Fox, Episode 14: I'm not crying, I've got sand in my eye. **


	14. Chapter 14

Fullmetal Fox

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

Chapter 14

Anko sat on the edge of his bed. "what?" he muttered as he opened his eyes.

"Care to explain how a one legged, dehydrated loser got the drop on you?"

Naruto sighed and realized she wasn't going to let him sleep. "Where's Hana-chan?"

"Getting food. Now talk." Anko said.

With another sigh, Naruto sat up and hugged his knees. His metal arm glowing in the dim light from the desk lamp.

"Nothing really to say. I got too close and he tagged me with the sword."

"Bullshit." Anko answered. "I've seen you throw up walls, create hundreds of golems like Alphonse and not to mention a hundred other things, all in the blink of an eye. Now why did you let him hit you?"

"(sigh) Because there were Suna ninja around and I like to keep my abilities out of sight. Do you think they would let us leave if they saw me do what I can do?"

Anko's brow furrowed. "But everyone already knows."

"No, everyone thinks they know what they know. And the prisoners are doused with several toxins and Inoichi Yamanaka does a mind wipe with Ibiki's help."

"You sneaky little snake." Anko said. "So that's why you get so pissed with Hatake."

"I mean, yeah the Sharingan can't copy Alchemy, but they can memorize the motions."

"So?"

Naruto sighed. "Ojii-san has a spy that says there are two people out there that can use small amounts of alchemy, well one of them can use the array and potions part."

Anko paused and scowled. "Orochimaru." She hissed.

"Yeah. And Ojii-san's spy's have discovered he wants the Sharingan." Naruto said.

He saw her look. "If he can find a way, he will be able to use it. That's why I'm being careful…at least until Ed and I finish a few more projects."

"And the other one?" Anko asked.

"Excuse me?"

"You said there are two out there, whose the other?"

"I don't know his name. Ojii-san has his best informant on it. He'll let me know as soon as he can."

They were quiet for a bit then Anko asked. "So, you really think you can help the kid?"

Naruto smirked. "Kid? He's what a year younger than me."

"You're mature for you age…" Anko looked him in the eye. "I…"

"Naruto? Anko? I'm back, I've got dinner." Hana said entering the room. "Oh, good, your both here."

Anko scowled as Hana opened the bags and unloaded food. _Damn it, ten more minutes. Thanks a lot Hana._ Anko said grabbing the box of Dango and tearing into it.

**XX**

Naruto looked at the two standing before him. Well, Gaara was standing before him. The blond with the huge fan was off to the side.

"You asked to meet me?" Gaara intoned. "Are you ready to justify my existence?" the red head intoned.

Naruto wanted to say something. The night had passed far too quickly for his tastes.

"I'm not here to fight you." Naruto said.

"Then why would you wish to see me?" the red head asked and Naruto could see he was confused.

"I can help you." He said. "I can make it so you can sleep at night, that you'll be in control. I can fix your seal…"

Sand was starting to rise up. Naruto sighed as he slammed his hands together and a glow formed around the room. It was transformed from rock and sand to solid steel. The sand that Gaara had been manipulating was gone as was his gourd.

"Now behave." Naruto said. Gone was his goofy exterior. The Suna siblings were now facing Konoha's Fullmetal Fox Alchemist.

"As I was saying, I can fix your seal, and put you in full control."

The girl had her fan out and was glaring at Naruto while Gaara had a look of shock on his face.

Ed spoke up. "Tell the overgrown desert rat that the kid can free him from the seal, granted he won't be as he was, but its better than being without a body."

Temari leapt back. "It talks."

"And walks, and is a pervert." Naruto said as he looked at Gaara. "Well? Do you want to sleep and be in control of yourself without the annoying raccoon whispering in your ear?"

"What do you have to do?" Gaara asked.

Naruto grinned. Take your shirt off while I set up the arrays." He looked at Temari. "You can join Anko-chan and Hana-chan."

Naruto looked at Ed, the two tailed fox looked up at him.

"What do you think?"

"A double array, eight points each." The fox said.

"Hm." Naruto saw the seal on Gaara and winced. "Yeah, the person that did this made it so it would drive you crazy…hold the ramen…" his hands went thru a variety of motions. He reached out and touched Gaara's seal, the red head flinched at being touched and a second seal appeared. "There's a second soul there as well…"

He looked at Ed. "Now what?"

XX

Anko brought the supplies Naruto had asked for. "Beads. Sends me to a temple, and I get faced by monks that haven't seen a woman in Kami knows how long. I am so going to make him make it up to me." She muttered as she came back. Hana and the triplets were guarding the door with the red heads sister.

_Her names Temari. She's been a Genin for a year and Gaara's just made Genin here in Suna. They have another sibling who is too scared to be anywhere near Gaara._ Anko shook her head and wondered if Naruto would have turned out like Gaara if he'd never learned alchemy.

_Could do without the damn perverted fox._ She thought.

"Anko." Hana said. "How'd it go?"

"Next time we need anything from a priest, monk or monastery, you get to do it." Anko said as Temari opened the door.

The three women entered and stopped. Naruto was drawing the last of his array's, this one on the ceiling matching the one on the floor.

Gaara was laying on his back, his eyes closed.

Temari panicked. "He's asleep…oh gods we need to…"

Gaara's eyes snapped open and Naruto who was standing on the ceiling sighed. "He's meditating. Ed and I have him talking to Shukaku." He bit his thumb again and finished the last rune. He flipped down to the ground.

Temari saw the room was still metal.

"How long does this jutsu last?" she asked.

"Not a jutsu, and forever if I leave it." Naruto said taking the bags from Anko. He was pulling items out.

Temari watched as jars of oil, water, dirt, sand, wood shavings, some white powder. Seeing her look Naruto smiled.

"Salt." He said.

She watched as jar filled with broken glass shards, insects and packet of metal shavings.

From the next bag she saw him pull out a stuffed teddy bear. She saw Gaara's eyes land and the bear and remembered how her brother used to have a bear that had been destroyed.

"Now then." Naruto said getting their attention, except for Gaara's that was locked on the bear. "You all will need to wait outside. This is going to be hard enough, and I don't need any distractions." He looked at his teammates. "No one enters until I open the door, am I clear?"

Both nodded. They knew that when Naruto was in that tone of voice, he was deadly serious.

He looked at Gaara. "I won't lie, this will hurt like a bitch."

"Pain is life." Gaara said.

Temari looked uncertain. "If anything happens…"

"Yeah, yeah. You'll kick my ass." Naruto said waving her off. Out, all of you save Gaara."

Ed looked at him a moment. "Remember, willpower and concentration."

"Gotcha. Go."

The two tailed fox hopped onto Hana's shoulders and the door closed. Naruto slapped his palms to the door and metal bars formed across it, merging to the wall.

Turning he looked back at Gaara. "Now, once I start this will hurt, I'm not going to lie to you Gaara. But when this is done you will sleep at night and you will be in charge."

The red head closed his eyes for a moment. "You are strange Uzumaki. You are like me, yet you aren't."

"I've had precious people who kept me from the path you walk. Without them, I would have been like you. But you aren't alone. Your sister truly cares what happens to you."

"I will still be a monster."

"No, you'll be Gaara. Shukaku will be in this bear. And the last spirit." Naruto said as he went thru a series of seals and the items formed a strange crystal bracelet. "Will be in here."

Gaara watched as the items vanished as Naruto made the bracelet. "What are the beads for?" he asked.

Naruto smiled. "Glad you asked." He slipped them around the bears neck, doubling them up into a collar. "A control collar. I have a feeling your demon is not mentally balanced after all these years being tormented by the second spirit. We'll make the control word once he's in there. Now, if you'll lay back down." Naruto leapt to the ceiling and using chakra placed the bracelet and bear on the ceiling right above Gaara.

He dropped back and pulled out his journal. Looking over his notes he nodded and closed it, putting it back in his inside pocket.

"Here comes the pain." Naruto said as he clapped his hands and slammed them down onto the array on the floor.

The room was flooded and by red light and Gaara's screams.

XX

Temari jumped hearing her brothers scream. She moved to the door and found Anko in her way.

"Not happening." The mesh wearing kunoichi said.

Hana was petting Ed who seemed to purr under her talented fingers. "He said this would happen. You bursting in there could harm your brother."

Temari fumed.

The three turned hearing the Haimaru trio growled. "This isn't good." Temari seeing several Jonin and her own father the Kazekage coming their way.

"This is going to be trouble." Hana said.

Anko smiled. "Good thing Naruto is in charge and gets to write the reports."

Hana smirked at that.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" The Kazekage snarled.

Hana looked at him. "Kazekage-sama. As I'm sure your agents have informed you we are…"

"What are you doing to my weapon?" he interrupted. Temari scowled at her fathers term for Gaara.

"Fixing him." Anko said. "He's unstable and its unhealthy for him…"

"This is unacceptable." He said.

Behind the three kunoichi another scream of pain was heard.

"Stand aside." The Kazekage ordered.

Hana sighed. "I'm afraid we can't do that Lord Kazekage. Our orders are to guard this door until Naruto-sama has opened it."

"I will have you arrested." The man hissed and Anko's whole posture changed. Hana noticed her friends eyes narrow.

"I am afraid that won't be happening Lord Kazekage." Anko said. Hana noticed her stance and winced.

_This is a public relations nightmare. I can hear it now, Konoha Jonin attacks leader of allied nation._

"Baki." The Kazekage said, but to Hana's hearing it sounds like a hiss of a serpent.

"Arrest them, or kill them it matters little to me."

"Milord…they are…"

"Ruining my plans for my weapon." The man hissed.

"Your weapon?" Anko said. "Really? Since when is a missing nin leader of Suna?" her kunai was in the air and sliced thru the man's veil before anyone could react.

It slipped to the side and everyone around the Kazekage backed up as the pale face of Orochimaru appeared. His serpent like eyes glared at his former apprentice.

"You should not have done that Anko." He hissed.

"And you should eat shit and die asshole." She said pulling out several more kunai.

Screams in and out of the room merged as Anko launched herself at Orochimaru, formerly of Konoha and one of the legendary three.

Ed sighed as he leapt off Hana's shoulder and sat in front of the door. "Like this could get worse." He muttered as Orochimaru killed a nearby Suna nin and used another as shield to block Anko, the poor Suna Jonin died very messily.

Anko didn't pause as she leapt once more, screaming "DIE BASTARD!"

Hana looked at the Suna nin who were backing away from a man they thought was their leader.

Hana wanted nothing more than to move, but her _Alpha_ had given her a direct order, and she'd slit her own wrists before she failed to follow his commands.

_Damn it, mom's right._ She thought as Anko and Orochimaru were in a dangerous dance of destruction as they started using fire jutsu's in the confined streets.

"Do something!" Temari ordered.

"Can't." Hana said. She looked at Ed.

"Don't look at me. Do I look designed for combat?"

Hana snorted. _Not without Naruto._ She thought.

Behind her the door opened and Ed leapt as Naruto stepped out, an annoyed look on his face.

"What in the name of Kami is going on out here?"

"Orochimaru." Hana reported and she saw Ed and Naruto share a look.

"He's the one?"

"Yes." The fox said.

"Ed…"

"Yes boss?"

"Sick 'em"

The two tail leapt into the air and the Suna nin watched as Naruto's hands were a blur and then he finished the small fox was replaced by one the size of a full grown tiger.

"HERE OROCHIMARU! COME HERE!" the fox snarled.

The Snake Sannin turned and everyone saw the look in his eyes.

"Shit." He melted into the ground seconds before the fox landed where he'd been.

"**NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"** Ed howled as he swiped the ground leaving a gouge.

"DAMN IT!" Anko yelled kicked the ground. "Almost had him."

Naruto looked at the gathered Suna nin. "What's going on?" he demanded.

The door behind him opened and Gaara came out. The nin backed up even more and they all watched with fear as Gaara rubbed his eyes before he looked at Temari. "I want a nap."

Screams filled the street as the Suna Jonin fled with that statement. Clutched to Gaara's chest was a teddy bear that now resembled a raccoon, its tail was swishing back and forth.

"This sucks." The thing said and Temari's eyes widened.

Baki who was the only other citizen of Suna stood there mouth wide open.

Naruto looked at Hana. "What did I miss?"

She snorted and laughed.

**AN: Next chapter they say farewell to Suna and head home. Next time on Fullmetal Fox, Episode 15: That's not my bra.**


	15. Chapter 15

Fullmetal Fox

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

Due to holiday, posted early as will be camping

Chapter 15

Three more days they spent in Suna. Gaara was enjoying sleeping, and Naruto wanted to make sure his adjustment held.

The only complication was the stuffed raccoon that seemed to think it could attack him at will, and he laughed as Gaara used the command word the first time and the beads doing their work.

"Sit boy."

The impact from the stuffed animal was something to see. Shukaku swore he would skull fuck each and everyone of them for this humiliation.

Ed's answer had been to bury him up to his neck.

Hana had barely stopped the Hanmaru trio from watering the deserts newest plant several times.

Baki stood before them, they were gathered in the Kazekage's office. "We found his body. They stuffed it in a cave a days walk from here. Scorpions were nesting in it."

"We are sorry for your loss." Naruto said with a formal bow.

"That…Orochimaru, he peeled the flesh from him." Baki said looking sick.

"He's been known to do that." Anko said from where she was leaning against the window overlooking Suna.

"I've discovered that the Kazekage and Orochimaru had been planning an invasion of Konoha."

The three Konoha nins looked at him. "We are not following thru with that." Baki said. "As of now, I am the temporary leader of Suna, and I've shot down the council's demands about Gaara as well."

Naruto nodded. "If its not safe for him here…" he paused. "If Gaara and his family wish, I can offer asylum in Konoha for them."

Baki looked surprised. "You can do that?"

Anko snorted again. "Only person above Naru-kun is the Hokage. And the old man ninety-nine percent of the time backs up whatever Naruto plans."

Baki looked out the window. "Can I think on this?"

"Take all the time you want. I already told Gaara. His sister…"

Hana growled at this.

"Temari, says she will do whatever is best for her brother. The other one…" he looked at the girls.

"Um, I haven't met, in fact anytime Gaara and I approached, he screamed like a girl and ran away."

Baki nodded. That was the standard procedure in Suna. Baki would be the first to admit he had nearly ordered the evacuation of Suna when Gaara had taken an afternoon nap.

"What about the demon?" he asked.

Naruto smiled. "He's harmless. Gaara's in control of him." Naruto held up the bracelet. "Care to explain the second soul Baki-sama?"

The Jonin turned village leader sighed. "Gaara's father, our former Kazekage used the soul of a mad monk that had been sealed in an urn. I don't understand why, but he always said it would make Gaara a better weapon."

Naruto growled as did Ed. "If that man wasn't dead, I'd show him a weapon or twenty."

Anko smiled. "Cannonball enema!"

"Damn right." Naruto said, then shot her a look.

"I hope we can reaffirm our treaty with Konoha." Baki said getting the discussion back on track.

"I'm sure the old man will be glad to hear that. As I said Baki-sama, when we came here we were chasing a drug dealer. Sadly our lead dried up, but I am happy with the results of our visit to Suna." Naruto said.

"As are we Naruto-sama."

Naruto waved it off. "Just Naruto. I hate formalities, I think I'm the only one who can get away with calling our Hokage, Ojii-san, or old man."

Ed snorted. "Along with a few colorful metaphors." The two tailed fox muttered.

"Hey, most of those I learned from Eboshi-baa-chan."

"And Anko." Ed added.

"And Anko." Naruto agreed.

"What? Come here fox." Anko said.

Hana, Naruto and Baki watched as Anko chased the fox around the office, even to the point where Ed had her spinning in place trying to catch him. He leapt into Hana's arms while Anko staggered trying to catch her equilibrium. Naruto caught her before she fell.

"Hey." She said giving him a look.

"Anko-chan." He said with a grin.

"My hero." She said.

Naruto dropped her. "Not in front of the Suna-nin Anko-chan."

She pouted while Hana laughed. Naruto looked back at Baki. "I'll let Sarutobi know about this, and hopefully see you at the Chunin exams this year."

Baki nodded. "I don't think we'll be sending many teams. With the recent events, I think we'll be playing it close to home for now."

"Understandable."

"I hope you don't mind if I walk you to the gates Naruto, but…(sigh) I have found the bane of this job, and I've only been at it for a day."

"What's that?" Anko asked.

Naruto and Baki said it at the same time, "Paperwork."

XX

"So, you going to miss Suna?" Anko asked putting herself between Naruto and Hana. The Inuzuka with Ed riding on her shoulder.

"A bit. Won't miss the sand." He held up his auto-mail arm. "This has been a bitch to keep clean."

"Naruto-kun." Hana said as they walked the streets of Suna, "Why did you let Aoi get such a lead on you?"

Naruto sighed. "Mostly cause there were too many civilians around. Suna's streets as you notice are narrower than ours. And you have to admit, everything I do…"

"Goes boom." Anko said with a grin. "And that makes me hot."

"Have ice water." Hana said. "But still, he had one leg mangled."

Naruto sighed. "You're not going to let this go are you?"

"No…unless you give me a good reason why?"

Naruto was quiet. "There was a girl there, watching. She was no more than five, maybe six. I manipulated Aoi away, but he pulled the Raijin on me. Tagged me with it. While it stung like a bitch, I didn't get to do anything before Gaara showed up. I looked up and was glad to see the child was gone. No one should let a child see violence like that." He said softly.

Anko and Hana shared a look. They knew of Naruto's past. They knew how he felt about children.

Anko swatted him on the back of the head.

"Next time kick their asses and then make something for the children to make them forget. I nearly had a heart attack seeing you on the ground with that bastard standing over you. I've seen the scars he left on Ibiki."

Naruto nodded. "So, who wants to give Aoi's head to Ibiki?"

Anko bounced from foot to foot waving her hand in the air. "Oh pick me, pick me, pick me."

Naruto chuckled "I don't know, what do you say Hana-chan?"

"Let her do it. Then maybe you and I can have alone time." The Inuzuka said with a grin. Naruto groaned as Anko stopped.

"Nu-uh, no way. I'm getting there first."

"You snooze, you lose." Hana said.

"Not asleep yet fleabag, and trust me, when I get him, sleep will be the last thing we do." Anko said and Naruto stopped. "Please tell me we are not having this talk in the middle of the street of an allied nation." He said and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Ed snickered and leapt from Hana's shoulder to his. "Look at it this way kiddo, your life is never dull."

"I'd like dull. I'd be happy to be associated with dull on a first name basis." Naruto said as he started walking leaving the squabbling pair behind him. He was nearly to the gates when a wall of sand blocked his way.

"NARUTO-KUN!"

Ed barely managed to get out of the way as Naruto was tackled by Temari, knocking them both to the street. This of course drew the attention of Anko and Hana.

"GET OFF HIM BITCH!" Hana growled while Anko's hands were in motion.

"STOP!" Naruto ordered thankfully one sign away from Anko finishing her attack. "Hello Temari-chan. What are you doing here?" he asked as she got up off of him after giving him another tight hug.

The Sabuku girl actually blushed. "You left before we could say goodbye."

Gaara appeared in a swirl of sand.

"Uzumaki-sama." He said.

"Its Naruto. My friends call me Naruto." The blond said to the red head.

"F-Friends?" Gaara said repeating the word.

"Well…yeah. You're my friend, if you want to be." Naruto said. Gaara bowed. "Thank you…my friend."

Naruto gave him a huge grin. He turned and saw the three women glaring at each other.

_I better get them out of here before the next ninja war starts right here._ "Anko-chan, Hana-chan, we need to get going."

Both shot a look at Temari. "I told Baki about my offer. Its open for however long."

Temari nodded. "We owe you so much…"

Naruto shook his head. "You don't owe me anything." He held up the bracelet. "I'll make sure this is disposed of properly. I think I know a couple of priests or sages who will know what to do."

"How about we stick it up your ass?"

"Hello Shukaku." Naruto said seeing the stuffed animal on Gaara's shoulder. The stuffed critter made what it thought was an impressive growl and leapt.

"Sit." Gaara said and the stuffed animal slammed into the ground with the force of a hurricane, sadly its stuffed body didn't dent the ground.

"What made you pick that for a command anyways?" Naruto asked. He'd been curious ever since Gaara uttered it.

The red head got a faraway look. "I remember my uncle…he had a pet dog…whenever it would misbehave he would order it to sit."

Temari smiled at that. "Will we see you again?" she asked.

"Sure. You can write as well. Don't know when I'll answer as the old man keeps us busy, but the Chunin exams are in a couple months in Konoha."

"We'll be there." Gaara said.

"Baki said he wasn't sure…" the blond said.

"We'll be there." Gaara said again. Naruto smiled as he understood his friend. "Well, you two take care. Sorry I never got a chance to really meet your other brother guys." Naruto pulled Gaara into a hug, many civilians watching the scene tensed and waited for the blood bath.

"Remember to get eight to nine hours of sleep a night, and make sure you eat better." Naruto said to his red haired friend.

He turned and was hugged by Temari. "Stay safe." Temari said and then with an impish grin she kissed Naruto.

Twin growls from Hana and Anko were ignored as Naruto finally was released with a dazed look on his face.

"Catch you later foxy-kun." Temari said and walked away with an extra sway to her hips.

Anko and Hana shared a look seeing Naruto's eyes following said hips. Both girls grabbed and ear and dragged him out the gates.

Gaara watched them go looked down at the stuffed raccoon. "You know Shukaku, people are strange."

"Get bent." Growled the stuffed animal.

XX

After finally convincing the pair to release his ears, they continued walking, Naruto ahead of the two women who were talking and plotting his bedding once they got back to Konoha.

Ed on Naruto shoulders was snickering. "Remember to have water and vitamins near the bed."

"Stuff it." Naruto said.

"I'm just saying, it sounds like they are going to claim you and not let you leave until their fully satisfied."

Naruto grumbled and reached into his pocket for something to wipe his face, as the sun overhead was brutal.

Dead silence behind him told him something was wrong. He turned to see Anko and Hana a foot from him, their eyes fixed on the item he'd just used to wipe his face.

"Um…Anko-chan? Hana-chan?"

"That's not my bra!" Both women said at the same time. Naruto held up what was in his hand and looked at it. He winced seeing it was a lacey purple bra.

_Temari_ he thought without hesitation. The twin growls told him he was in for a world of hurt.

"Not the face!" he yelled as Ed leapt clear.

"NOT THE NUTS!" Ed yelled as he ran ahead. "Specially if you want to use them later." The fox muttered as the sounds of a beat down filled the air behind him. _I wonder if I can get Tsume to let me see that young pup from Kota's litter. She was a rather fetching dog, nice flanks…_

"AHHHHHHHHH!" from behind him. "Better you than me bro." The fox muttered.

**AN: Well, that's that. Next time they're in Konoha and …. Well you'll see. Next time on Fullmetal Fox, Episode 16: Yours, mine…ours.**


	16. Chapter 16

Fullmetal Fox

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

Chapter 16

Naruto sighed as he opened his eyes. He'd managed to put distance between himself and two irate kunoichi, getting back to Konoha several hours ahead of them.

His report to the Hokage was quick and he begged, pleaded, offered bribes and even went so far as to try and blackmail the old man, who told him he had a day off to revise his report and bring it back to him.

_Stupid Ojii-san and his triplicate format._ Naruto thought as stretched. He smiled as he looked around the Sewer Den.

"I can't believe you sealed the place down. You're gay."

"Fuck you Ed." Naruto said leaving the bed and padding around the cooler room.

"You have two hot women wanting…BEGGING for your man meat and you like a pussy hide in the sewers." The two tailed fox said.

"Coming from the overgrown foot warmer that ran away leaving me at their tender mercies. Its not my fault that Temari put her bra in my pocket."

Ed snickered. "How could you not tell what it was? I mean seriously…do we have to have Tsume give you the talk again?"

Naruto shuddered at that.

"You know, I don't get it kiddo." Ed said hopping up onto a counter as Naruto was splashing water in his face at the sink.

"I don't want to hurt them Ed." Naruto said softly. "I'm…damaged, and they both deserve someone better."

"I call bullshit."

"What?" Naruto asked looking at the fox.

"Bullshit. Naruto, bro…they want you. Kami, I've heard them talking about first, second or even both at once. I've heard them plot to keep any and all other women away from you. You saw how they reacted around Temari."

"She was just grateful I helped her younger brother." Naruto said.

"I know you're not this dense." Ed said hopping to a chair then to the table in the small kitchenette Naruto had rebuilt and transformed.

The blond turned on the stove and put a fry pan on before cracking several eggs.

"Its not dense Ed. Hana-chan and Anko-chan are bright, intelligent and they deserve someone that won't drag them down." Naruto said as he had bacon frying in another pan while he toasted the bread.

"Naruto, I might be a fox now, but It nearly took me till I was older than your girl before I thought of the opposite sex. I ran away from Winry. I fantasized about Major Hawkeye. I thought about Rose a lot. Hell I wanked off to Lust several times at night when I was alone and Al was off doing whatever mischief he could."

Naruto closed his eyes. "I really don't need your details Ed."

"The point is, don't isolate yourself. Your strong Naruto. Hell, I'd say you better at Alchemy than I was."

"Because I've got your memories to use as a cautionary note." Naruto said flipping the bacon and putting some eggs down for Ed.

"They want you." Ed said.

"No they don't. I'm the only male they've spent a lot of time around for a long period of time. I bet if Anko hung around Iruka more she'd like him."

"And Hana?" Ed asked ignoring the food before him.

"Someone that will treat her right."

"You." Ed said.

"No." Naruto sighed as he put the bacon on the fox's plate and some on his own as he buttered the toast and put it down before putting his eggs on it and then the bacon.

"Egg sandwiches. You've got Al's addiction to those. He could never get enough of them when he was alive." Ed said watching Naruto eat.

The blond said nothing as he ate, Ed watched him as he ate his own food.

As Naruto prepared to do the dishes he tried again. "So you don't think you are worthy of either of them?"

"No. I'm not." Naruto said as he scrubbed the morning dishes.

"So, let's say Hana goes out with Hatake…"

"HELL NO!"

"Why not? I'm sure a former ANBU and current Jonin would be good enough."

"He's a pervert." Naruto said.

"What about Ebisu then. I've seen how he looked at her."

Naruto's grip tightened on the glass he was cleaning, and it shattered in his auto-mail hand.

"Don't like that either." Ed said with a grin.

Naruto sighed as he cleaned up the broken glass.

"I know its been a long damn time since I was human, but I can see that they love you."

"Why? I'm nothing special."

"A whiny bitch." Ed fired back.

"WHAT?"

"Your acting like a whiny bitch. Christ Naruto, you have two of the hottest kunoichi in all of Konoha chasing your ass, and you hide in the sewer. I swear if I didn't know you could make Tsume howl like that I'd swear you were gay."

Naruto looked like he was going to say something, but the two tailed fox cut him off.

"No, I'm speaking, you shut up and listen. Now sit your ass down."

Naruto found a seat right quick. This wasn't Ed the fox speaking to him, this was his adopted older brother Ed speaking.

"Now I'm only going to say this once. Hana and Anko want you, they've staked their claim and if they have their way, they will shoot you, stuff you and mount you. They have laid claim to your scrawny ass, and they want to collect. You think what you want Naruto, but those two women want you. Anko doesn't want anyone else and neither does Hana. They want Naruto Uzumaki-Elric."

"Elric?" Naruto said.

"Of all I said, you've heard only that." The fox said with a sigh.

"No I heard you. But I don't see why they want me Ed."

"(Sigh) We'll do this one step at a time. You are the second most powerful ninja in Konoha. You are a master alchemist. From a females point of view your damn sexy."

Naruto blushed.

"Hana, an Inuzuka finds you desirable as her mate. You know she wouldn't pick you if she thought you weren't alpha male material. And we all know Tsume approves of you."

Naruto grunted.

"And Anko has let you in where she's let no one else. Her few dates were disasters as the guys just wanted a quick roll."

Naruto knew about those. He'd had words with those idiots. One quit being a ninja after that talk. _I might have gone over the top with exploding notes taped to his crotch and the cannon against his head…I blame Ed's temper I inherited._

"You are what they want." Ed said.

Naruto sighed as Ed walked away. "Yeah…" Naruto said as he went to get dressed for the day.

XX

He just got pants on when he felt the pull on Alchemy. "Ed? What are you…" he stopped. "Aw shit." He muttered hearing several voices.

"Where is he?" Anko's.

"He's not getting away this time." Hana's and sound of the triplets barks.

"He's in the bathroom." Ed's the traitors voice.

_I'm going to kill you Ed. Dropping the barriers I put in place._ Naruto thought as he slipped on his shirt and grabbed his jacket.

_Can't shushin out of here, was one of the runes I carved in the defenses to prevent anyone from popping in._ he looked at the wall and sighed.

_Damn it._ He thought and clapped his hands together and slammed them into the back wall. The portal opened and he rushed out, just as the door opened.

"GET BACK HERE!" Hana yelled.

The braying of the hounds was behind him as he rushed the sewers.

"GET HIM!"

_Damn you Ed._ Naruto thought as the Haimaru trio gave chase ahead of their mistress.

Naruto could hear Anko and Hana behind the grey dogs. _This is not how I wanted to spend my day off._

XX

Eboshi sighed as she was shopping. Sarutobi told her that Naruto had returned to Konoha gave his report and took off running like the hounds of hell were after him. Eboshi knew what was going on as she'd seen Anko and Hana looking all over for the blond.

"Have you seen Naruto?" they asked her when they spotted her.

"Have you tried the sewer den?"

They'd taken off running.

_I hope Naruto is ready for them._ She thought. Her thoughts were cut off as Naruto erupted out of a manhole twenty feet from her. She watched as he looked around wildly, then took off running. She realized why a moment later as three Inuzuka hounds erupted out next braying and howling as they gave chase.

She blinked again as Hana and then Anko emerged as well and went after the others.

_Hm. I wonder if I should warn Sarutobi about…nah, their Jonin and they can deal with it as long as their isn't property damage._

XX

"Kami's left tit, why won't they give it up?" Naruto muttered as the trio kept coming.

He spun down an alley and slammed his palms down and created a cage wall between him and them.

"Heh. Sorry, but this is one fox that isn't going to be cornered." He turned and saw the alley was a dead end.

"Crap." He turned seeing Anko and Hana. Using chakra he leapt the wall and went to the roof tops. Hana and the dogs followed, making wonder about where Anko was going.

He leapt over a wide street and nearly cleared it when snakes shot up from the road below.

"YAAAAAA!" Naruto screamed as the snakes jerked him down to a smiling Anko.

_She skipped ahead on several streets and set up an ambush with Hana and the triplets moving me into position._

"Hey boy toy." Anko said with a grin and was joined by Hana.

"We've gotta talk." The Inuzuka female said as she dismissed her partners.

"Heh…um…"

They each grabbed an arm and they headed back towards where their apartment was.

"Listen, about the bra thing…it wasn't my fault. I SWEAR!"

XX

Sarutobi looked at the reports and sighed. "Are you certain about this?"

"Hai."

"Team 7 is heading into trouble." Sarutobi sighed. "Send for Naruto. I need his team to head to Wave."

"I would hold off till tomorrow morning." Eboshi said coming in.

"And why is that?" Sarutobi asked.

"Because Anko and Hana are chasing their man down as we speak and if they have their way, any one interrupting them will probably be dead before he gets a second word out."

Sarutobi's eyes widened.

"And if you pick on them Sarutobi I will give you a rectal exam on your next doctor's appointment, and I won't use the lube."

The Hokage winced and grumbled. "I wouldn't…"

"Yes you would. Especially since Naruto invented that jutsu that puts you and every straight men out of commission."

"Really? Bro's got a Kage killer?" a voice said and they both turned to see Konohamaru standing there.

"Now, Konohamaru…" Sarutobi began.

"I need to ask him to teach it to me so I can become Hokage." The black haired youth rushed off and both elders looked resigned that the nine year old was going to learn something that the Hokage feared.

"Wonder if I can order Naruto to forget that jutsu?" he muttered.

Eboshi laughed.

XX

That night the residents in apartment complex 47 did not sleep. The screams, moans and howls kept everyone awake. Anbu had been ordered to finally apply silencing jutsu's to the building. Some of the younger men passed out from nose bleeds as they listened too long to some of the yells of "YES!" and "FASTER NARUTO-KUN!"

A fox sitting on the roof smirked. "Damn kids got it good."

**AN: New mission. Next time on Fullmetal Fox: Episode 17: I thought I saw a teme, I did, I did see a teme.**


	17. Chapter 17

Fullmetal Fox

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

Chapter 17

The knocking at the door was ignored.

Pounding on the door got a groan.

Opening the door had a hail of kunai, shuriken and a spear imbedding into the door and frame as it was closed quickly to prevent harm.

"Pardon the interruption, but the Hokage requests your team for a mission, it is quit important." The Anbu says from the safety of the other side of the door.

"We'll be there in ten minutes." Came a hoarse voice, and the Anbu couldn't identify it.

"I will tell him." The Anbu said and shushined away.

In the bedroom, a tangle of bodies slowly began to separate. "Meh…shower." Anko groaned as she stretched, muscles aching in ways that told her she'd had a very good night.

Hana was on her hands and knees on the other side and she stretched and moaned before crawling up and nuzzling Naruto's neck.

"No more…sleep." The blond muttered.

"No sleep, we've gotta work." Hana said to her mate, and he was hers as the bite marks on her neck indicated. She saw Anko sported one as well and Naruto had one on either side of his neck.

_We claimed him and he claimed us, oh Kami did he claim us._ Hana thought as she stood, her legs felt rubbery and she knew she wouldn't be sitting comfortably for a while unless she used a couple of healing jutsu's.

Anko was slow moving and the pair each went to the bathroom and climbed into the shower. "Damn…I don't think I can walk properly." Anko hissed as the water hit her body. Hana sighed and performed a few basic healing jutsu's she'd picked up.

"OOOOOH." Anko said as she felt relief.

"Don't start that again." Hana said hearing the deep throated purr from the Snake user.

Anko smiled as she soaped up. "You think we killed him?"

"Well he's breathing and has a pulse, but no movement." Hana said turning on the other showerhead.

"Your mom wasn't kidding about his stamina." Anko said rinsing off and washing her hair.

Hana agreed as she used the healing jutsu on her own worn out body. "And here I was hoping for a few days off."

"Must be important if the old man is calling us out already." Anko said grabbing a sponge.

"Damn girl, you should see your back." Anko said with a whistle.

Hana was about to ask when she felt Anko trace the marks and winced. "He got you as good as you got him."

Hana smiled as she recalled Naruto taking her from behind last night. She closed her eyes remembering as he mounted her after they'd fought, her biting him, his tackling her, then mounting her and as they orgasmed together his sinking his canine teeth into her shoulder.

Her attacking him when he'd finished with Anko, clawing and biting, riding him to another orgasm.

"We were sooooo naughty last night." Anko said with a grin.

The pair finished washing up and wrapping towels around their heads and bodies they exited the room to find Naruto sprawled where they left him, the thin bed sheet covering him from just below his belly button.

"A Kodak moment."

Both girls screeched and jumped to find Ed resting in the window. "Anbu is not happy with you three." He said with a lecherous grin.

Anko threw a shoe at him and he laughed leaping out the window.

Hana meanwhile sat on the edge of the bed, her hand slowly tracing the edge of the auto-mail where it met flesh with a perfect seal.

Anko dropped on the other side with a bounce, the bed shifted and Naruto groaned. "Come on lover. The old fart wants to speak with us."

Naruto groaned. "Go on without me. Tell him I'm dead." Naruto didn't even roll over, he just fell asleep.

The two women shared a look. "Eboshi-sama is here, and she says its time for a physical, something about updating your shots…"

Naruto was out of bed and in the bathroom with the door locked and they could hear the shower start up.

"That was mean." Hana said.

"But true. She is planning on his physical someday soon." Anko said with a grin. "And he is out of bed."

Hana smirked.

"You two might want to throw the sheets in the washer." Ed said from the window again. "I'll have Tsume come and air out the place while we're gone."

"And you're speaking with my mother why?" Hana asked.

"I had to sleep somewhere last night. You three were throwing off pheromones and were loud enough to keep the whole damn building awake. I wouldn't be surprised if your neighbors don't try to get you tossed out for disturbing the peace."

Hana blushed at the thought of her mother knowing what she did last night. Its not that she cared, it was the teasing she was going to get for finally laying claim to her mate. _Gah, and I share with Anko of all people._

"Get out of here furball." Anko yelled and tossed another shoe.

"I'll let her know and meet you at the tower!" Ed rushed away and they could hear the two tailed fox's laughter as he took to the rooftops.

"Don't know if we should thank him or kill him yet." Anko muttered.

"Both." Hana said as she went to her room and got dressed. Anko too went to hers and put on fresh clothes.

Both came back to Naruto's room to see him dressed and stripping the bed down. A knock on the door caused them to stop. Hana sniffed and sighed, before opening the door and seeing a grinning Tsume Inuzuka standing there with a huge grin.

"Go. Ed says you have an emergency mission. I'll clean up here." She said. The three rushed the door.

"But I want details when you get back."

"MOOOOM!"

XX

Naruto stood between Anko and Hana before the Hokage's desk. Behind the old man was council members Homura and Koharu.

"I need your team to get to Wave and perform a rescue mission." The Third said as he lit his pipe.

"Team 7 was assigned a simple C-Ranked escort mission, sadly the client lied and it was truly an A-Rank to low S-Rank mission. They ran into missing ninja from Mist, Zabuza Momochi."

Naruto winced. "The Demon of the Bloody Mist." He muttered. "Orders?" he asked.

"We want you to…" Koharu began but the Hokage cut him off.

"Your orders are to go in and assist Team 7. if the situation calls for it you are to remove the Genin and we'll assign an assassination squad."

Naruto nodded as he took the file and looked it over. "Hatake still can't file a proper report." He muttered. "What about the Demon Brothers?"

"Dead, they took cyanide capsules before they could be interrogated by Ibiki after Anbu retrieved them."

Naruto growled. "And nothing else from Hatake?"

"No."

Naruto sighed. "We'll leave as soon as we're outfitted, with your permission?"

"Go, and may Kami watch over you."

Naruto and his team left. He stopped outside the door and held up a hand for the two girls to remain quiet.

"Sarutobi, why didn't you tell him to retrieve the Uchiha like the Council wants?" Homura asked.

"I am sending them to help. No one person is more important than the other. If that was the case, I wouldn't let Naruto out of the village. His powers and skills make him very important."

"I don't see why you don't force him into marriage contracts then. Perhaps these Alchemy skills can be passed on."

"I told you both as I told Danzo and the Council. Naruto is free to chose his own path. And from the reports I have, Naruto is involved with two women already…"

Naruto motioned his team on, he growled at the thought the Council wanting his alchemy skills passed on. _Cold day in hell you old farts. I will decided when to pass that on._

XX

Team Alchemy rushed the path Team 7 had taken, their speed greater as they traveled as ninja without the concern of a civilian. They reached the shore in no time.

"What now?" Anko asked.

"There." Naruto said seeing the boat docked. They approached and found the owner dead, his throat slit.

"Well, looks like things are worse than the last report."

Hana climbed aboard the boat and Naruto with Anko's help got the motor running. They made it across, Naruto not giving a damn about being quiet.

"The mist is thick."

"It's a jutsu." Naruto muttered. "A permanent one."

"What do you mean?" Hana asked as she smelled the chakra in the air.

"Someone set a seal to keep up the fog. Its not natural."

"The energy powering it…feels…" Ed muttered from the blonds shoulder.

"What?" Anko asked.

"Familiar. I could be wrong, but…"

"We need to make sure. We'll check in it after we get together with Team 7." Naruto said as they hopped from the boat to the shore. Naruto pulled the boat up. Even in the fog they could see the ominous shadow of the bridge.

"That's huge." He muttered.

Ed snorted. "We could build it in less time and make it stronger."

Naruto flicked the fox's ear. "We are not showboating. And keep quiet around the civilians."

Ed sulked. "Fine. I'll keep an ear on Hatake and his brats."

"Do that." Naruto muttered as they entered the far side of the village. "Hana, get the Trio. Have them find Team 7's scent."

Hana pulled the scroll and the Haimaru trio appeared. The three grey Inuzuka hounds barked after getting their orders and started tracking.

It didn't take long and they found a house a quarter of a mile out of the village. "Hatake's scent ends there." Hana said.

Naruto nodded and rapped on the door with his gloved auto-mail hand. The door opened to reveal a woman with long dark hair.

"Yes?"

A kunai flew past her and Naruto batted it aside.

"Identify your target before you attack Uchiha." Naruto said as he entered the house. "Sorry ma'am. The genin aren't trained with manners." Naruto said. He looked at Sakura who was hovering behind Sasuke and a third member. "Where the hell is Hatake?"

"Who the hell are you?" The Uchiha demanded.

"Your superior genin. Where is your Jonin Instructor, now." Hana snarled. "Him?" Sasuke said pointing at disbelief. "He's the same age as us, and I've never seen him at the academy."

The third member spoke up. "Naruto-sama, forgive my teammates manners." The pale boy said. "Kakashi-sama is upstairs with Chakra exhaustion."

"Sai, what the hell are you doing?" Sakura Haruno demanded. Naruto read the files. He knew about Sai, and he knew about the other members of Team 7, he was not impressed. "Hana, go see what you can do for the idiot upstairs." Naruto looked at the civilians in the room. "I'm sorry for barging in. My name is Naruto Uzumaki, I'm team captain and we are here to take over the mission and have Team 7 under…"

"This is not your mission, this is ours." Sasuke said.

Naruto sighed. "Anko-chan, would you please."

The snake mistress smirked and shushined, reappearing behind Sasuke and she hit a pressure point on Sasuke's neck. Sai blocked Sakura. "The Uchiha is in enough trouble for attacking a superior Haruno. Don't make it worse for the dickless wonder."

Naruto sighed. "We'll try to be in and out as we can. Your safety is our priority." He told her.

"My father, Tazuna is the one who hired Team 7. My name is Tsunami and my son Inari is in his room right now." the woman said. "Would you like some supper?" Naruto shook his head. "No thank you. We have rations."

Naruto looked at Sai and Sakura. "Put the Uchiha in his bedroll, and both of you get to sleep as well. We have a lot to do tomorrow."

Sai bowed and hoisted the Uchiha onto his shoulder. Sakura was glaring at Naruto who wasn't phased. "Girlie, wipe that look off your face before I roll your head to Konoha." Anko hissed as Naruto went upstairs to check on Hatake. "When Naruto says jump, you better only ask how fuckin' high."

"Why?" Sakura asked.

Anko snarled. "Because only the Hokage outranks Naruto, and the Sannin come close to him in raw power. Know your place girl, trust me arguing with him will end your career before it begins."

She went up stairs.

"But he's our age." Sakura whined.

**AN: Wave mission begins. Naruto learns about Gato, and puts a certain teme in his place.**


	18. Chapter 18

Fullmetal Fox

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

Chapter 18

Naruto looked at Kakashi. "You really are an idiot."

The man opened his uncovered eye, it was a glare that had no effect on the blond. "You continue with a mission, you know you shouldn't have once it was revealed that the client lied. You endangered your genin team, for what? To stroke the Uchiha's ego? Or is it your ego your stroking Hatake."

"How dare…"

"Know your place Hatake. I outrank you." Naruto snarled cutting the man off. "Anko and Hana outrank you as well, so get off you pathetic high horse, know your role and shut your mouth."

Anko snickered, Naruto shot her a look and raised an eyebrow. The kunoichi cracked up.

"Since you are out of action, my team are taking over the mission. We shall continue training your team, now what have you taught them?"

"Team maneuvers." Kakashi said after two minutes of silence.

"And?" Naruto asked when the man said nothing else.

Kakashi shook his head.

"And you took a team out on a C-ranked mission?" Naruto was exasperated. "As a former Anbu captain, I know your smarter than this Hatake." He looked at Hana and Anko. "Well me beautiful kunoichi, it looks like tomorrow you get to be drill sergeants to a trio of brats that are highly undisciplined and…"

"My team has discipline." Kakashi said and the three shot him a look. "No, they don't. one is a spoiled Uchiha, the other is a member of Root and the last is a delusional fangirl you should have broke of her habits before even coming out of the village. Since you can't do your job Hatake, we'll do it."

Hana pulled out the file that the Hokage had given them. "You've done a D-rank mission a day, can you explain why you haven't done more than team maneuvers?"

Kakashi muttered something.

"And why they even passed?" Anko fired off.

Kakashi sighed. "The council…"

"Those old farts have no say in ninja matters Hatake, you know this." Naruto said. He looked at the kunoichi in the room. "Boot Camp?"

"Boot Camp." Both women said.

Naruto grinned and looked at Hatake. "Hope they sleep well. Tomorrow Hell Week starts."

"Why?" Hatake asked.

"Don't tell me you don't think that you beat Zabuza. I spoke with Sai after he put the Uchiha to bed, he gave me a rundown of what happened, the hunter nin took him away. What does that mean?" Naruto asked as if talking to a dimwitted student.

Kakashi's eye widened. "Shit. Zabuza's alive."

"Very good Kakashi. I'll get you a cookie later after your nap." Naruto said patting the man on the head.

Kakashi sighed. "Chocolate chip?"

XX

Morning came far too early for the genin of Team 7 as Anko and Hana had the out of their bedrolls by four am.

They were out running laps, push ups and being physically dominated in taijutsu by the two kunoichi who grinned sadistically the whole time.

"Alright you snots, breakfast." Anko said and followed Hana into the house where they found Naruto eating breakfast and reading the file that the Hokage had gotten together for him prior to the mission.

"Where are they?" he asked without looking up.

"Pinkie is puking her guts out. The Uchiha is trying to get feeling back into his legs to stand and the Root boy is…well he's on his feet." Hana said.

"This is fun. Can I keep beating on the Uchiha?" Anko asked.

"Until he gets his sharingan, then be very careful what you use around him." Naruto said nibbling on a piece of bacon.

Both nodded, they knew this from being around Hatake. "So, is he awake?" Anko asked.

"Yeah, Tsunami-chan took him a tray up, he's reading his porn." Naruto shook his head. "Why read it when you can experience the real thing."

Both Anko and Hana laughed. "I think we created a monster." Hana said.

Naruto cutely blushed. "And here I thought your mom broke him of that." Anko said swiping his bacon and making a toasted egg and bacon sandwich.

"Stop it." Naruto said. "We're on a mission, behave."

"But where is the fun in that?" Anko asked. She looked around. "Where the hell is the furball?"

Naruto was about to answer, but the three genin of Team 7 entered, collapsed into chairs and looked at plates.

"Better eat. I'll take the old man to the bridge and watch over him. Anko I need you to work with Team 7, start them with Tree climbing. Hatake should have taught them that after getting them."

The Snake mistress nodded with a grin. "Can I motivate them?"

"Not today. Show them how its done, and let them work on it. Tomorrow you can." Naruto said looking at the file. "Hana…I need you and three to do some scouting after breakfast. Ed will show you the way."

Naruto sipped his tea.

"Why should we do as you say?"

Naruto sighed and looked at the insolent Uchiha. "That's twice you've questioned a commanders decision Uchiha. When we get back to Konoha, you will be facing a tribunal."

"WHAT? YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO SASUKE-KUN!" Sakura yelled getting to her feet, all previous exhaustion gone.

Naruto put his tea down and quirked an eyebrow. "By rights of ninja law, I can execute him for disobeying commands of a superior. Same goes for you Haruno. This is not a democracy, this is a dictatorship. There is only one opinion that matters in this chain of command, and that is mine as the highest ranking shinobi present."

"Impossible. You're lying." Sasuke said.

Anko snorted. "Guess again. Naruto is only outranked by the Hokage, and answers only to him."

"Jonin Mitarashi is correct dickless." Sai spoke up. "Uzumaki-sama is the highest ranked ninja in Konoha. Only the Hokage may overrule him."

Sasuke glared at his teammate and then at Naruto. "Prove it."

Naruto sighed.

"Fight me." The Uchiha demanded.

Hana and Anko snorted.

"And that would prove what?" Naruto asked.

"You're as strong as you say. So far you've done nothing but give orders." Sasuke said.

Naruto shook his head and stood. "Outside Uchiha."

He exited the backdoor and heard Sasuke rushing up behind him. He moved his head and avoided the lunging punch from behind, grabbed the Uchiha's wrist and kicked backwards, hard.

A grunt was his reward and he snapped his way around and used a simple shoulder throw to slam Sasuke onto the ground. Still holding on the genin's wrist he applied pressure and put a boot on the other boys face.

"If I wanted to Uchiha, I am within my rights in ripping your arm off and beating you to death with it." He applied pressure and Sasuke squeaked as his arm was twisted and the other side of his face was pushed into the ground.

"STOP IT! YOUR HURTING HIM!" Sakura yelled as Anko snagged her by the back of her clothes and held her back.

"This is no game children. People live and die, you want to play stupid games or think it matters who your daddy was, you better quit now and open a fish stand in Suna, because you will get yourself and your teammates killed." Naruto let the Uchiha go who just lay on the ground.

"Get them up and get them training." He said as he walked past Anko. Naruto was nearly to the house.

"Naruto-sama, may I have a word."

He nodded and Sai followed him as they went back out the front door.

"Naruto-sama, I am told that Root recognizes it did you wrong in the past…"

"Sai, you are a year older than me, correct?"

"Yes."

"You are Danzo's adopted son?" Naruto asked.

"Yes."

"Do you know what members of your adoptive father's personal militia did to me?" Naruto asked.

"In detail? No. But we want no quarrel with you now."

Naruto nodded. "What is your task?"

"To keep an eye on the Uchiha for now. Lord Danzo feels that he might go the way of Itachi and wants him watched."

Naruto was silent. "Danzo is playing both sides against the middle." He muttered. He looked at Sai. "And what else is there?"

Sai actually looked uncomfortable. "I wish to become one of your soldiers in the coming conflict."

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "I am loyal to the Third Hokage."

"And I wish to be loyal to you." Sai said in his emotionless voice.

"Why? Why switch sides, especially away from the man who raised you?"

Sai pulled out a pen and twirled it. "What Danzo does is not for Konoha, and not for the Hokage. He does it for personal gain. He's made deals that…at least mean the death of the Hokage, at worst destroy Konoha to the foundations. I am a member of the Leaf."

Naruto was quiet, his eyes taking on the horizon. "We shall talk more of this when we're away from this mission. Until then…you are my eyes."

Sai bowed his head. "For the Hokage."

Naruto smiled. He knew not all Root were useless and disloyal, but many of them were brainwashed by Danzo.

_I'm no fool. I won't trust you one hundred percent Sai, but if your honest, I will back you one hundred percent with Ojii-san._

Naruto watched as Sai went back with Team 7. Hana came up. "What's that about?"

Naruto smirked. "A double agent…or a triple agent in this case." He saw her look. "Later Hana-chan. I need you to go with Ed. Ojii-san slipped me a file on a merchant in the area who is more tyrant than reported. We might have to deal with him."

"What do you mean?" the Inuzuka asked.

"I talked with Tsunami this morning, she was very reluctant but she told me about Gato in detail and how he killed the village hero when he tried to stand up to him and his mercenaries."

Naruto showed her the file Sarutobi had given him.

"And the council wanted us to grab the Uchiha and run." She asked.

"Yeah. As we know Ojii-san doesn't like tyrants, and he hates being told how to manage his ninja even more by civilians that are meant to advise him."

Hana studied the info a bit longer. "Go, Ed's waiting for you near the edge of town."

Hana nodded, paused then kissed him before shushining away.

Naruto went to the backyard as Tazuna wasn't up yet and watched as Anko had Team 7 climbing trees. Well, Sakura was at the top, but Naruto could see she was exhausted from it. Sai he saw was pretending to have difficulties, and the Uchiha…

Naruto smirked as the stuck up little bastard fell after getting four feet from the ground.

Heading around the side he clapped his hands and slammed them to the ground.

The armored form rose from the ground.

"Brother."

"Al, I need you to remain hidden, but you are to protect the house and the woman and child inside. We're in enemy territory Al, and if you need help and I'm not around, you know what to do."

Naruto always swore that the expressionless helmet that served as the metal golem's face grinned at that.

**AN: Okay, to those asking, Naruto doesn't use all of his abilities, because he doesn't need them right now. hello. Scar's arm is special cases and it does hold memories for Ed, Al and Naruto as he has some of Ed's. Naruto is strong, but he prefers to use the ninja's greatest skill…DECEPTION! You don't show everything you do just to make everyone go "OOOOOH…AHHHHHH!"**

**Next time on Fullmetal Fox Episode 19: Welcome to Wave, Enjoy the Pain.**

**PS: Sorry for the delay, got kidnapped for a family reunion I wasn't planning on attending (stupid cousins) and they didn't pack my laptop nor notebooks. (stupid cousins) So I am behind. Sorry.**


	19. Chapter 19

Fullmetal Fox

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

Chapter 19

"Poison ivy." Hana hissed to the fox as they approached the bridge builders house. The sun had set hours ago and the two were able to leave their hiding place.

"Four hours I had to lay in poison ivy Ed." Hana hissed sounding more like an angry cat than a member of the Inuzuka clan.

"I'm sorry. Okay." The two tailed fox hissed back. "You should have watched where you dove."

Hana winced as she really started to itch. "You better pray Naruto has something in his medkit for this, or you will be used for tracking exercises for the whole clan when we get back to Konoha."

Ed muttered about pms'ing females and scampered ahead. The door opened before they got there and they were greeted by Naruto.

"Finally. I expected you both back hours ago." He said. He moved to give Hana a hug, but she stepped back. "I'm covered in poison ivy spores." She said. Naruto winced. "Go shower and bag those clothes. Eboshi-baa-chan packed a medical scroll for me, I think there's something there for that."

"Bless you." Hana said with relief.

"Bless Eboshi-baa-chan." Naruto said with a fond grin for the pain in his ass doctor.

In the house Team 7, well Sakura and Sasuke looked like they were dying, while Sai was off to the side drawing on a sketch pad, but even the Root operative looked beaten down.

"Looks like Anko had fun." Hana said as she went upstairs.

At the mention of the special jonin's name, Team 7 winced.

"Well tomorrow they've got more of the same." Naruto said as he followed her up the stairs.

While Hana went to wash up, apply the medical cream and dress in loose clothing, Naruto stopped to check on Kakashi who was glaring at Anko who was reading his book.

"OHOHOH. This sounds fun." She said with a grin. "And page thirty-nine was incredible, Naruto did that to me and Hana….twice."

Naruto in the doorway watched Kakashi's eyes get wide at that tidbit of news.

Anko wasn't done it seemed as she flipped through the book a bit more. "Oh, and what the Prince did to the Princess, let me tell you what Naruto can do with Kage Bunshin makes that illusion thing tame."

Kakashi slammed into the wall hard from the jet of blood out of his nose. Naruto shook his head and looked at Anko. "That's just so mean Anko-chan." He said and she grinned.

The blond rearranged the unconscious Jonin and just straightened upright when Anko glomped him from behind.

"Missed you today." She said into his ear, her warm breath sending sensations throughout his whole body.

"Aw, Naru-chan is all flushed." She teased.

"Get a room."

Both spun to see Ed in the doorway snickering. "And if you do what you did the other night, those kids in the kitchen, not to mention the boy down the hall will get an education."

"Ero-fox." Naruto muttered.

"Bah." Ed said. "Wanna hear the report or not, I've got better things to do." Ed said.

Anko snorted as she pulled up a chair and sat down. "Licking your own balls isn't something you want to advertise."

"Screw you." Ed shot out.

"You wish." Anko said.

"Bitch."

"Runt."

Naruto closed his eyes as the predictable reaction kicked in.

"I AM NOT TINY TIM YOU POSTER CHILD FOR TOO WONG FUU…"

Naruto backed out of the room and once there applied a silence jutsu over the room. He sighed and turned around to see Sasuke standing there glaring at him. "You have something to say Genin?"

"Fight me."

Naruto sighed. "Been there, done that, kicked your ass without effort. Go to bed, you have a long day…"

Sasuke lunged and Naruto sidestepped and once the Uchiha was past him, he kicked him in the back and sent him flying into the hallway wall, hard enough to crack wood.

Sasuke slid down the wall. "Your on report Uchiha." He grabbed the unconscious boy and dragged him to his room and dropped him on his bedroll. He turned and sighed. Blocking his path was the pink haired harpy.

"HOW DARE YOU ATTACK SASUKE-KUN! DO YOU KNOW WHO…"

"Shut up." Naruto said in an even voice. "I don't give a damn if Sasuke was the Hokage's grandson. He disobeys orders, argues with ninja higher ranked than him, and now has attacked me outside of training. Grow up Haruno. You are a ninja of Konoha, act like it. Sasuke Uchiha will be getting punished upon our return to Konoha, that is if he doesn't get himself and us killed with his actions. And your own actions thus far have proven that perhaps you shouldn't have left the academy yet either."

Naruto looked past Sakura. "Anko, since they seem to have the energy add the weights to them tomorrow, they can begin at five am."

Sakura spun seeing Anko leaning against the hallway wall near the stairs. "Gotcha stud." She said.

Naruto sighed and went back to wake Hatake and discuss options, leaving a now shaking Sakura with a smirking Anko who was planning on using shuriken, kunai and her snakes to motivate the Genin in their training.

XX

Morning came all too quickly for Team 7, Anko woke them with snakes in their bedrolls and chasing them out of the house. Naruto looked at the map he'd spent the night making of the area with the help of Kage Bunshin and Steel Golems.

He looked at Hana who looked miserable as she was wrapped in bandages soaked in medical creams for the poison ivy.

"Ed counted at least thirty mercenaries." He said.

Hana fidgeted fighting the urge to scratch, thankful she'd left the trio in their scroll.

"And from my position I counted at least another thirty, looked mostly of bandits and samurai. I didn't see the ninja that Team 7 encountered, but they could be laying low while their leader heals."

"Most likely." Naruto wished he had more information, but sighed.

"What's bothering you?" Hana asked sensing his mood.

Naruto shrugged. "Something about the mist that surrounds the island. Its…Ed and I both have the feeling we're forgetting something. You notice how it stayed so far from the shore, perfectly distanced?"

Hana was going to say no, but then her mind brought details. "You think alchemy created it?" she asked.

"Or something alchemy powered." Naruto muttered. Seeing her look he explained. "Ed used to study runes of power. if properly powered…and designed and placed in key locations…they could do it. I think, Ed's memories I have are vague, and Ed's own memories are hazy from his human days. The knowledge is there, but…" he shrugged.

"Happens to everyone who gets old." Hana said with a smirk. "I noticed Anko's bedroll looked savaged…did I miss some fun last night while I soaked in those medical creams?"

Naruto saw the look in her eyes and shook his head. "Not unless you count Anko-chan calling Ed a runt again."

Hana shook her head. "She does it on purpose."

Naruto nodded figuring that, especially how after Anko returned to their room after tormenting Haruno, she ravaged his mouth with abandon, and Naruto had a feeling she would have gone a lot further if Tsunami hadn't knocked on the door to ask if they would require anything else before she turned in.

Hearing a slight thumping, they both turned to see Kakashi coming down the stairs on crutches.

"He lives." Naruto joked.

"Where is Anko?" Kakashi said, his voice sounding serious.

"Training your team." Naruto said. He suddenly had a thought. "She kept your book, didn't she?"

"Yes. She stole my Precious." Kakashi said, the last in a hiss.

Naruto and Hana looked at the Jonin as if he was a strange new lifeform. "And on that note, I'm going to take Tazuna to work on his bridge. Hana-chan, keep applying the wraps soaked in the chemicals I gave you. Hatake, sit down and look over the map. We'll need to be ready for them, and I figure we won't have much time left."

Kakashi looked out the door and pouted under his mask.

"If you come up with a good plan I'll make sure Anko-chan gives you back your book."

Hana and Naruto blinked as Kakashi was at the table, scratching away ideas on a notepad.

"Did he just…" Hana asked.

"Yes. Funny isn't it?" Naruto fired back.

XX

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'VE BEEN TOLD!" Anko yelled out as she sent another barrage of snakes and kunai at the running Genin that were wearing chakra weights, that Anko controlled.

The trio panted as they ran. "Come on you pussies, I can't hear you!" Anko said as she sent a trio of vipers at Sasuke who yelped as they sank their fangs into his ass.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'VE BEEN TOLD!" the trio yelled as they panted for breath. Anko had them running laps now, then they would be doing chakra building exercises and Anko was looking forward to taijutsu with the pink haired girl. _Yell at my man will you, you little harpy, welcome to Anko's Boot Camp, don't die._ The Snake Jonin thought as she sent another viper at the Uchiha who staggered.

"GET UP UCHIHA. ITS NOT EVEN POISONOUS!" Anko yelled as she punted the Uchiha back to his feet from where he'd fallen. "And you call yourself Rookie of the Year. Naruto at eight years old was better conditioned than you."

Anko never would admit it, but she always enjoyed watching Naruto train. His fighting style she found out he'd gotten from Ed who was an accomplished fighter when he was human. Naruto had also told her that he'd also gotten something from his trip to the Gates. She didn't understand a lot of what he talked about when he spoke about his alchemic abilities, but she had to admit the look in his eyes could work her up…

She sent a kunai at the pink haired girl who slowed down. "Keep moving, I didn't say you could stop."

Anko wished she had Naruto's flame abilities. She's get them motivated. _Snap my finger and I'd likely blow up the brats. (sigh) Naruto is sixteen and he acts older than Hatake._

Shaking her head she saw Sai speeding up while the others slowed down.

"MOVE IT MAGGOTS OR YOU'LL BE DOING LAPS ALL NIGHT LONG!" Anko snapped and sent several shuriken at them. With a sigh she bit her thumb and smeared some on the seal Naruto built into her weapons pouch and recalled her weapons. _This is going to be a looooong day._ She thought and smiled as she got an idea.

Biting her thumb again her hands blurred and she completed it. "Summoning Jutsu!"

A thirty foot snake appeared. **"Why did you summon me?"**

"Chase the brats, smack them around if you like, but keep them running at a fast pace." Anko said. The Genin fled with the snake behind them, the fear on their faces brining a smile to Anko's face as she found a comfortable tree and pulled out an orange book. Licking her finger she turned the page. "Now, what was the hero doing?" she muttered. _And can I get Naruto to do it to me?_

**AN: Anko's boot camp…(shudder) imagine if she had alchemic abilities? (she won't but just think if she ever did). Next time on Fullmetal Fox, Episode 20: "Cold Hands, Warm…what the hell is that?"**


	20. Chapter 20

Fullmetal Fox

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

Chapter 20

Anko looked up from her reading seeing Naruto approaching. His gaze looked around. "Where are the Genin?"

Anko smirked. "Running with a rather large snake chasing them." Naruto reached down to help her up, but she smirked and pulled him down and across her lap.

"Anko-chan…"

"Hush." She said as she ran her fingers through his blond hair. "Where's the fox?"

"I sent him back to watch on Gato's place." Naruto said, his voice going quiet, Anko always played with his hair since the first day they became a team, she found it relaxing and he was soothed by the gentleness that she showed him. "We get back to Konoha, you aren't leaving the bedroom for a week at least." She said with a smirk.

"Hmm…reminds me, Kakashi wants his book back." Naruto said, his voice soft.

"Finders keepers, looser weepers." Anko said.

"Hana's going crazy covered in poison ivy." Naruto said. "We need to get this mission done. Ed and I have a bad feeling. The mist around the island is setting both of us on edge."

"We can't leave until the bridge is completed." Anko reminded him.

"Actually we can't leave until the threat is over. Team 7 can't leave until the bridge is done. The sooner we deal with this Gato and his mercenaries and ninja the sooner we can go back and defile another room of the apartment." Naruto said lazily as her fingers stopped and he looked up to see her looking at him.

"And we're not storming this mansion…why? You're an army of one, and with me and Hana there isn't much that can stop us."

"True. But we're playing by rules."

"Phooey." Anko pouted. "I want sex."

"And I want to have ramen, we're both out of luck." Naruto said.

Anko was quiet for a bit, then Naruto saw her grin. "What?" he asked.

"What if I let you eat ramen off me?"

Anko's laugh reached the bridge making those that knew it shudder as Anko watched Naruto crater the ground from the jet propulsion of blood from his nose at he mental image he'd thought of after her suggestion.

XX

They found the Genin thirty minutes later…

Or more to the point they found Sakura screaming, Sai unconscious and twitching and Sasuke half swallowed by Anko's summon.

"What the hell is this? Did I say you could stop?" Anko demanded. "And you, spit him out, you don't know where he's been."

The snake did as she ordered.

Naruto shook his head as he checked on Sai. "He's got some minor nerve damage." He looked thoughtful. "I thought you said it wasn't poisonous."

"Oh, he's poisonous, but nothing lethal." Anko said waving off the blond. She looked at Sakura. "Why didn't you help your teammates?"

Sakura looked at her, emerald green eyes wide in fright.

Anko sighed. "Useless, all three of them." She said looking at Naruto. "Do we really need them?"

Naruto sighed and rubbed a gloved hand over his chin in thought. "I suppose we could leave them and Kakashi on guard duty and rework the plan…"

"I demand to…" Sasuke began, but a kick to the face from Anko shut him up and sent him rolling several feet away. Sakura screamed again.

"Great, I'll get Hana and the furball, and we'll have lunch. Kakashi should be able to monitor his own brats now."

Naruto nodded reluctantly. He knew Kakashi was milking his down time, he'd seen the man recover from chakra exhaustion a lot faster than what he was doing now.

Anko was about to shushin away when Naruto stopped her. "His book please hime."

Anko pouted. "Fine." She pulled it out and handed it to him, then grabbed his shirt front and pulled him into a kiss. When she released him she smirked. "Page one thirty-four." She said and shushined away.

Naruto shook his head and looked at the three Genin. "Come on. Its two miles back." He pointed at Sakura. "Pick up Sai."

"Why don't you?" the pink hair girl recovered and looked at Sasuke who was sitting up.

"Because Genin, I told you to do it. You need to realize, this isn't a democracy, this is a dictatorship, and I outrank everyone here. Now pick up your teammate as he is currently unable to stand, and get a move on Haruno."

He looked at the Uchiha who was sulking. "Double time it Snake bite, or do you need motivation?"

Sasuke glared and stomped past Sakura who was struggling to lift Sai up into a fireman's carry.

"Oh for Kami's sake." Naruto said and grabbed Sai and hoisted him onto her shoulders for a fireman's carry.

"Go."

Sakura took off, her steps already shaky. Naruto sighed. _Man Hatake, your team sucks._ He thought as he followed at a leisurely pace. He opened the book to the page Anko indicated and after reading a few lines snapped it shut.

"Damn…didn't know that was physically possible for a human body to do." He muttered as he wiped his nose bleed and sighed seeing Haruno collapse under her teammates weight and the Uchiha was way ahead and not looking back.

"Asshole." Naruto muttered as he formed the Kage Bunshin and the clones picked up the exhausted kunoichi and the nerve damaged artist ninja and with a thought they shushined away.

XX

Kakashi Hatake winced at the lecture he was getting from the younger man. "I thought they were at least physically fit, they collapse after two miles of hard running, and Haruno is weak physically, she couldn't save her teammate."

"It was on my to do list." Kakashi admitted.

"To do list?" Naruto slammed the book down on the table between them, his auto-mail hand still on it.

"And the Uchiha…"

"He has a few issues, I'm sure he will be fine in…"

"He's going on report once we get back for insubordination, abandoning his teammates, attacking a superior and…"

"Can we talk about this?" Kakashi asked realizing his prized student would be lucky to avoid prison for this.

Naruto gave him a disgusted look. "Tell me Hatake, what should be done then?"

"Well…um…punishment should be…" his lone eye was looking around praying to find an answer.

"Think about it Hatake. I'm going to train myself, keep the brats here and tell Hana when she gets back I put more cream by her bedroll."

Naruto walked away ignoring Inari's ranting at the Genin about how they all were going to die against Gato.

_Kid, you got it wrong. Just because everyone in this village gave up don't compare them to trained ninja of Konoha._

And with that Naruto was leaping away from the house.

XX

Night fell and three very exhausted Genin were in their bedrolls, Anko giving Sai the antidote and called him a pussy for not being able to flush the toxin from his system on his own.

Kakashi was quiet as he sat looking out the window, he'd thought about what Naruto had said about his Genin and then what Anko had said once she got back.

Hana growled and said if they were Inuzuka they would have been properly punished like misbehaving pups.

Naruto had yet to return. Both female Jonin weren't worried, but Kakashi noted that the fox had yet to return as well.

_I have to find a way to protect Sasuke. I owe it to Obito. I mean sure, he's a bit headstrong, but to put him on report…I think Naruto is jealous and is trying to take it out on Sasuke._ Kakashi rationalized and finally opened his book and started to read.

A mile away Naruto had fallen asleep in the middle of a field of plants. Ed was laying on his chest curled into a ball, both thinking of the strange feeling that they were getting from the mist around Wave.

XX

Haku stopped seeing the figure laying in the field. The beams of sunlight that peaked through the canopy of leaves lit the grotto with a hint of light and shadow.

Haku recognized the symbol of the leaf village on his belt. _There are more nin here from the Leaf. This isn't good. Zabuza isn't ready and they have reinforcements._

Contemplating what to do, Haku's hand hesitated near the slumbering blonds neck and shoulder. _I could kill him right now. I could…_

A low growl caught Haku's attention and turning dark eyes to witness a two tailed fox on the slumbering teens chest.

Making a decision Haku took hold of the shoulder and shook. "Wake up."

Blue eyes fluttered open. "Five more minutes." The blond mumbled.

Haku shook the shoulder again. "Wake up. You'll get sick sleeping on the ground like that."

The blond yawned and sat up, blinking his eyes and dislodging the fox from his chest. Haku saw that it landed with the grace of a cat and managed to keep the golden eyes on Haku the entire time.

"Who are you?" the blond asked.

"My name is Haku. Who are you?"

"Na…(jaw cracking yawn)..ruto. Good morning." He said looking around the grotto.

Repeating the earlier statement, "You could get sick sleeping on the ground like that." Haku said to the blond.

"Nah. Done it thousands of times. Ed and I are used to it." As if realizing something blue eyes focused on the kimono wearing person before him. "Um, sorry Haku-chan, I didn't realized anyone came out here."

Haku blinked. "No, I came here to collect some herbs is all and saw you asleep. Are you a ninja?"

"Sort of." Naruto said as he stretched. He looked at the tree he'd pummeled last night and then the one next to it that he'd used the Scar technique on and winced seeing the blackened remains.

_Kami, if that was a person…_ Naruto thought as he shuddered. _Ed had convinced me to try it out last night. Good thing too. That was exhausting the first time._

Naruto shook himself and turned back to Haku. "Would you like some help?"

"Oh…you don't have to Naruto-san…I…" Haku began, but Naruto waved a gloved hand.

"Just show me what you need. I don't mind."

Haku showed him the plants and the two started on opposite ends of the grotto, an hour later they were next to one another, the basket full.

"You know Haku, with the herbs gathered, I'd say your working on medical herbs." Naruto said casually. "So, is Zabuza nearly recovered."

Haku rolled away and cursed not being armed.

"Relax, I'm not looking for a fight right now." Naruto said as he scratched Ed between the ears getting a soft purring sound from the two tailed fox.

He studied the stance Haku had taken up, but said nothing for a bit. "You and Zabuza can leave. We don't have to fight. Gato will betray you both in the end to prevent paying you."

Haku said nothing, but couldn't help but agree with the assessment that the blond was giving.

"Take you master, or whatever he is and leave. My teammates and I will deal with Gato and free wave from his control. Don't throw your life away for a tyrant that isn't worth the loyalty."

"We can't all pick what we want. You don't understand the power Zabuza-sama possesses."

Naruto sighed. "And you don't know the power I possess." Naruto stood, dropping the fox to the ground. "Go back to your Master Haku-chan. We'll see you when we see you."

Naruto and Ed start to walk past Haku.

"I'm a boy, not a girl." Haku said.

Naruto stopped an arms length away just past her and snorted. "Try again. Your scent tells all. Try some honeysuckle tea, it will ease your cramps, and don't bind your chest so tight, it makes your breathing deeper."

Naruto continued on leaving a shocked kunoichi behind. _He knows. Usually everyone believes me when I tell them I'm a boy after they assume I'm a girl. But this one…_ and she realized after he was gone there was a flower made of ice sitting amidst the herbs in the basket. Her head snapped around quickly, but she couldn't see the blond anywhere.

**AN: I'm back. Took longer than everyone thought with the hospital between test, therapy and such. Anyways, I hope to be back on schedule. Next Time, Fullmetal Fox, Episode 21: Needle, mist and Who are you?**


	21. Chapter 21

Fullmetal Fox

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

Chapter 21

"Zabuza is closer to being on his feet than we originally thought." Naruto said as they gathered around the table in Tazuna's home.

He explained meeting Haku and the herbs gathered.

"And you let the hunter nin go?" Kakashi asked with surprise.

"Not all encounters need to be a fight Hatake. I gave them an option to leave before we got down to business." Naruto said accepting the plate of food from Tsunami.

"Anything new Hana?" he asked the Inuzuka.

"Gato has been seen with the mercenaries, he visited the building where we believe the ninja are, he came out in less than ten minutes not looking happy."

Naruto nodded in thought. "He's going to betray them after they complete their jobs for him."

"How do you know that dobe?" Sasuke sneered, Naruto ignored him as he looked at the map. "They'll strike when we're at the bridge." He pointed at several places. It's cut off with nowhere for us to run to, and ideal for Zabuza as he is a mist nin, and Haku is probably a suiton user as well."

"So how do we do this?" Anko asked.

"Remember our mission to the isle of winds?" Naruto asked. Both Anko and Hana shared a look but their grins were feral. "We can use the same tactic here and since Hatake is nearly healed, we'll use him and his Genin as the main foci for the bridge."

"What do you mean by that?" Kakashi asked.

"You and the client will be bait." Naruto said.

"What about my family?" Tazuna asked cutting into the planning as Naruto was laying out where everyone would be.

"I've got that covered already. The house and those in it have protections I set up once I got here."

He shot Kakashi a look, "Can your Genin keep the client safe, or will I need to take matters into my own hands?"

Kakashi looked at his team then back at Naruto. "They'll be fine."

"They better be Hatake. I won't have time to baby sit once this starts."

After several moments of planning, the Uchiha raised a fuss again, but Anko cut him off before he could begin.

"If you're going to act like a little brat, you can stay here in your room until we go back to Konoha."

Sasuke glared and Naruto looked at Kakashi. "There can be no error here Hatake. You and the client will be exposed."

"My team can handle this. Just make sure you and your team get there in time to rescue us."

"Alright everyone, go to bed early and rest. Tomorrow is it." The blond said. He waited until Team 7 was out of the room before he walked out the backdoor followed by Anko and Hana.

"Al, where are you?" he said in a low voice.

"Here brother." Came the metallic voice, and they watched as section of the wall melted.

"Neat trick." Hana said to the steel golem.

"Thanks. I got the idea from Konohamaru-kun while playing ninja with him." The metal giant said.

"Al, I've got a gut feeling again. When we leave tomorrow morning, make several more armors and guard the house and family."

Alphonse listened to what the blond had planned. "Are you sure this will work?" Al asked when he was done.

"Of course it will." Naruto assured him. "I came up with it after all."

"Brother, your plans never work out the way you plan them. Your so much like Ed when it comes to things like this…"

"What does that mean?" Naruto asked developing an eye twitch as he looked up at the taller armor.

While Al held up his metal hands, Anko and Hana backed up waiting for the explosion that always seemed to happen around the blond, the fox and the metal golem.

Realizing something Anko looked around. "Speaking of Ed, where is the little fur rag?"

"MY PLANS ALWAYS WORK!"

**KA-BOOM!**

Both women sighed seeing the alchemic created cannon.

"Its going to be a long night." Hana muttered trying to resist itching from the poison ivy.

XX

Later that night…

Naruto was laying on the roof of Tazuna's house. Ed crept up and laid down next to him.

"I still don't want you using that arm." The two tailed fox started.

"I need to learn how to use it Ed. I've left it alone all this time because your memories. But we are getting more and more dangerous assignments. I need to know what I can do fully."

"Use what I, Al and the others know, but leave that arm alone. Its nothing but trouble." The fox said. "Scar used it as a very destructive weapon. But its more than that, and…"

"I'm not you Ed. It took me three months to master Mustang's fire abilities." Naruto said looking at the stars overhead.

"Don't use it." Ed said standing up and looking down at the blond who was laying on his back.

The staring contest lasted for a bit before Naruto finally sighed. "Fine. It feels weird anyways. But we will train with it more after this mission."

The two tailed Kyuubi looked at him for a bit more than turned and curled up against the blonds side.

"Found what was making the mist around the island." Ed said after nearly ten minutes of silence.

Naruto who had started to doze off snapped awake and sat up, removing the body heat from next to the fox who growled in annoyance.

"WHAT?! Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Naruto demanded.

"Its fine. It's a linked series of runes and an array, over five hundred years old." Ed said with a wide jaw cracking yawn. "Nothing for us to worry about. I'll show it to you when all the drama is done."

Naruto was tempted to bonk the fox on his head, but decided to save it for another time.

"Al's right, you are an idiot."

That got a reaction as the fox leapt to his feet. "WHAT? When did Al say that? That's it, he's going to be scrap. When I get my teeth into him…"

Naruto sighed as Ed went onto a long rant about his brother. Decision made, Naruto rolled from the roof and landed on the ground below. He had to set some traps around the bridge. _I just hope they do the right thing._ He thought as he slipped away from the house, not noticing two figures watching from a window.

XX

(Morning)

Team 7 as a whole escorted Tazuna to the bridge, they got there to see the workers missing and the bridge shrouded in fog. "Sakura, Sai, Sasuke defense pattern G-6." Kakashi said, his eye looking around.

He saw Zabuza come out of the mist, the hunter nin was with him. _I wonder if they will take Naruto's offer or will this be a fight to the finish?_ Kakashi wondered.

(Tazuna's House)

Al looked around as the samurai came out of the woods. _Brother said to keep them from the house. Well, here goes._

He traced the pattern in the dirt and with a clap activated his traps. If he could grin, it would have split his skull as he watched the samurai become wrapped up and sunk up to their necks, the ground turning to concrete around them.

"Oh yeah. Beat that brother." Al was very satisfied, he turned to the house and was welcomed by Tsunami's scream and her flinging a frying pan at him.

XX

(The Woods)

"Kakashi and his brats are fighting Zabuza and the hunter." Anko reported lowering the binoculars.

"Damn." Naruto muttered.

The short range radio in his ear chirped to life as Hana's voice crackled in his ear. **"**_**Gato and the mercenaries are leaving the mansion. They're heading for the bridge."**_

"Double damn." Naruto sighed. "I hate being right." Tapping the transmit button he spoke. "Do you require aid Hana-hime?"

"_**Negative. Me and the Haimaru have this. You and Anko rescue Hatake and his brats."**_

"Copy." Naruto said and clicked off. "Well hime, shall we?"

Anko took his offered hand and the pair vanished in a leaf shushin.

XX

(The Bridge)

"Why are you doing this?" Hatake asked as he avoided the massive cleaver swipe from Zabuza.

"Because its fun." Kakashi used a kunai reinforced with chakra to block the sword and he was face to face with the Demon of the Bloody Mist.

Meanwhile Haku was beating the hell out of Sasuke who had cockily thought he was the better ninja. Better pincushion perhaps.

The battle was interrupted as Anko and Naruto appeared, Anko launching a fireball at Zabuza, giving Kakashi space to pull on his own ninjutsu, and Naruto took one look at Sasuke on the ground filled with senbon needles unmoving, then at Haku.

"Why didn't you leave?" the blond asked, his auto-mail hand clenching as he shifted his stance to the balls of his feet.

"Zabuza-sama will not leave until the target is dead." Haku said.

"Gato's on his way, or he was…but my other teammate is cutting his ranks down to size…"

XX

(Road Between Mansion & Bridge)

"QUADRUPLE FANG OVER FIST!!" the four drill like attacks cut through the mercenaries who walked right into the trap, not even using advance guards or scouts.

Hana paused and looked at the amount of damage she and her companions had caused. "Again." She ordered and the carved a path of destruction once more.

Gato fell back on his ass in shock, the ground under him darkening from his bowel release. Hana looked at him from her position and smirked. _How do you like that asshole._

She heard the tale of Inari's father's death. She took a moment to watch the trio continue to spin, samurai and common thugs fell under their assault, the speed too much for them to compete with and they soon broke ranks and ran.

Hana looked to see Gato crabwalk backwards trying to get away from the path of destruction.

_I wonder if I should save him for the villagers to finish off?_ She thought, not impressed with the crime lord who ruled over Wave through fear and strength of mercenaries.

_Until he met the ninja of Konohagakure._

Making a decision, Hana walked towards Gato, determined to let the village deal with him.

Before she reached him, a figure in gray appeared and grabbed him and shushined away.

"DAMN!" Hana said as she sniffed, not able to find a trace.

XX

(Bridge)

Sakura and Sai watched as Anko and Kakashi drove Zabuza back, one defending the other attacking then switching.

They couldn't see Naruto, the hunter or Sasuke as they were surrounded by a dome of ice.

"We need to help." The rosette haired girl whined.

"We are to protect the client and get him out of danger no chest banshee."

In the dome Naruto easily blocked Haku's attacks. "You can still surrender Haku-chan. We don't have to do this. Take your master and walk away."

The masked nin shook her head. "I cannot. I am Zabuza-sama's tool."

"Then, I am afraid I will have to break you." The blond alchemist said as he focused his intentions and slapped his palms together then on the nearest mirror.

Haku gasped as she tried to enter one and bounced off.

"What have you done?" the mask turned towards the blond.

"I sped up the molecules, they are moving too fast for you to manipulate." He launched a series of punches and kicks, Haku cursing as this was her weak area, she'd managed to avoid straight up fights, but Naruto had cut off her escape route.

She back flipped out of the way and called on her bloodline to make ice needles and send them at Naruto.

They struck his right arm, but they shattered.

"Nice jutsu." The blond said. Haku gasped seeing the jacket was shredded from her attack. Under the remains of the sleeve wasn't an arm of flesh, it was metal.

"Try this." Naruto said snapping his fingers of his left hand.

XX

The bridge was rocked by an explosion. The three Jonin level ninja stopped and looked, Kakashi in shock, Zabuza impressed and surprised. Anko had a grin on her face and she licked her lips.

Sakura screamed for Sasuke and Sai itched to draw such magnificence of destruction.

Tazuna landed on his back being knocked from his feet.

The mushroom cloud raced into the sky, Anko actually laughed.

**AN: Winding down the Wave arc. Someone stole Gato, and Naruto made a mini-nuke on the bridge. (think of the time Ed fought Mustang for a clue of the destructive force of the end explosion) I am going to say this once. Naruto will be with Anko and Hana in this fic, that is all. Please stop asking for more people. This isn't a harem, it's a ménage a trio. **


	22. Chapter 22

Fullmetal Fox

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

Chapter 22

"Whoa." Inari said seeing the remains of the bridge as he and the villagers looked at the melted stone, wood and metal.

The battle for the bridge had been short after Naruto's flame bomb. Haku was bundled up tightly in a cocoon of metal and stone.

Zabuza was put down by Kakashi with his one and only original moves, the Chidori.

The Demon of the Bloody Mist died, pierced through the heart.

Hana arrived and seeing the damage whistled. The villagers soon arrived and Inari saw the damage made his comment.

"Anko…" Hana began.

"Yeah?"

"Where's Naruto-kun?" the Inuzuka asked.

Everyone looked around.

"Where the hell did he go this time?" Anko asked walking towards the hole and looking down.

XX

"Ugh."

"Idiot."

"Shut up."

"Moron."

"Go away."

"Did I mention that you are mentally deficient?"

"Did I mention I could transfigure you into a toilet seat cover at Konoha Stadium during the Summer Games?"

Naruto sighed as he looked around. "Where the hell are we this time?"

"I don't know on account I was knocked out when you decided to blow up the bridge." Ed said. He'd been standing right next to Naruto when the blond had instigated one of Mustang's more powerful fire attacks.

"I didn't blow it up." Naruto countered.

"Well this sure as hell isn't heaven, and I don't see a naked Anko and Hana here, so we're not dead or in a dream."

"You dream about my girlfriends naked?"

"Well…yeah. I mean, they are hot, and I am male." The two tailed fox said.

"Ero-fox." Naruto said as he scanned the area. "Well, we're not around the bridge or anywhere nearby."

"How do you come by that conclusion genius?" Ed muttered.

"Because no trees, no water and I can't sense any chakra nearby."

"You blew us up." Ed said turning and making a hissing sound.

"I did not." Naruto said. "You know we're immune to our attacks."

"THOSE ARE ROY'S!" the fox snarled.

"They're mine now."

"Stupid idiot…"

"Children, behave." A voice said and the blond alchemist and the immortal fox stopped and looked around. "Whose there?" Naruto called out.

A figure appeared and Ed growled. "Envy."

"He short stuff. You look like hell." The dragon homunculus said with a sneer.

"You died." Ed said.

"And you're the size of a housecat. Ain't that a bitch."

XX

Back on the bridge Anko and Hana were not happy. Kakashi was making demands and Tazuna was whining about the damage to the bridge.

"Shut up." Anko said.

"Hatake…"

"No. I want answers."

"And I want to have sex with my boyfriend, but that's not going to happen until we figure out what the hell happened."

Sasuke snorted. "I'll tell you what happened, the idiot blew himself up along with most of the bridge."

"Yeah, knew he was an idiot." Sakura said supporting her Sasuke-kun.

Sai snorted as he was watching the villagers begin the clean up.

Anko shook her head and looked at Hana. "Report."

"Merc's are dead. Gato…got away, not sure who it was, but the person had no scent, and once whomever it was grabbed Gato, his scent vanished as well. I couldn't even tell if he'd ever been there."

"Not good." Anko muttered. "Unless we have a body, Gato can do this to Wave again once we leave."

"Let the weaklings fend for themselves." Sasuke said.

"They still have to pay for the C-Rank turned A-rank." Kakashi admitted.

"PAY?"

they turned to see Tazuna standing there. "You expect me to pay you for this…this…YOU DESTROYED MY BRIDGE!!"

Anko sighed. She hated dealing with clients. She preferred the other missions that her team got. "Well Hatake?"

"What? You're in charge, remember." The one-eyed Jounin said with a U shaped smirk.

Hana's hand on her forearm is the only thing that saved him from having a kunai buried in his skull.

"Tazua, this mission which you lied about…" Hana began realizing that she would have to be the voice of reason until Naruto came back from wherever he'd gotten too.

XX

(elsewhere)

"Ed the Full-Plushie Alchemist, oh what a laugh." Envy taunted.

"Listen here you overgrown belt and boots. I don't know what game your playing. You shouldn't even be here with what…"

"Relax short stuff." Envy said cutting the two tailed fox off. "I'm not really in the world. This is a visitation."

"For and from who?" Naruto asked stepping on one of Ed's tails to prevent him from lunging at the serpent dragon.

"Heh, you actually got brains." Envy said. "Listen up, and listen well. The power of alchemy has returned for a reason, and its not for a certain shrimp to get bodies for him or the steel boy wonder."

Ed growled.

"Figured that." Naruto said. "But what exactly am I to do? None of you shadows in the Gates actually gave directions, just downloaded a bunch of stuff."

Envy paused. "You will need to deal with Orochimaru. He can not be allowed to continue his experiments in the field of alchemy." Envy looked at Ed. "He does, he'll make Ishbal look like a garden party."

The fox stopped moving. "WHAT?"

"Still easily excitable." Envy said. "Listen brats. Should Orochimaru learn to make a philosopher's stone this world will end. Even an incomplete stone in his hands will be very bad."

Ed shuddered.

"He'll make homunculi that will make me and my kin seem tame." Envy said. "So get on the fucking ball Edward." Envy said. "And pray I don't see your ugly mug for a long time."

"And how the hell are we to get back, we don't know where we are." Naruto said.

Envy who had been rising paused. "Oh…that's easy. Wake up."

XX

"Brother…wake up. Please wake up."

"Al?" Naruto said opening his eyes and looking around. "How the hell did we get here?"

Naruto sat up, Ed fell off his chest. "HEY!" the two tailed fox said hitting the ground and waking up.

"You've had Anko-chan and Hana-chan worried sick." Alphonse said clutching his hands together.

"We were only gone a few minutes." Ed said stretching.

"Um, brother…" Al started. "You've actually been missing for three days."

"WHAT!?" was screamed in stereo.

XX

Naruto looked at the damage to the bridge and shook his head. "No big." He said.

Tazuna looked at him like he was insane. Team 7 was in the village helping with repairs, Gato's lodge had been raided and money redistributed.

"Stand back." Naruto said and waited till everyone was off the bridge. He walked up and traced an array on the ground. He made some calculations and adjusted some runes.

"Hurry up." Ed hissed.

"Shut it you. I hate rushing." The blond said as he nodded as his figures came out right. Clapping his hands together he slammed them down on the bridge, the array glowed with alchemic red light.

White and red lightening arched across the bridge and those watching were forced to shield their eyes.

When the light ceased and they could see they were shocked. "Ta-da!" Naruto said with a grin.

Tazuna looked at shock at the bridge. All the building materials were gone and the bridge was complete. He rubbed his eyes in disbelief. "H-How the hell?"

Naruto grinned.

"Kid…you ever want a job…" Tazuna began and Naruto laughed.

XX

After talking with Hana and Anko, he learned that Kakashi had been an ass, and the Uchiha had been making demands. Hana had used a nerve strike to shut the brat up while Naruto had been gone.

"And that leaves us with the girl."

Naruto sighed. Haku had just been following orders. He had felt bad when he used the flame alchemist ability.

"Is she okay?" he asked.

"Okay?" Anko said with a raised brow.

"Damn it Anko…I didn't want to kill her, what's her condition?"

Hana shook her head at the snake mistresses antics. "She's fine. Looks like she has a bad case of sunburn, but that's it."

"That was cool. It was like BOOM! Then shoom and then that mushroom cloud." Anko said with a grin as she recalled the fireball.

"Yeah, was so cool, Tazuna screamed about suing Konoha for damages. Good thing you fixed it." Hana said.

"Fixed it? He fucking built it and polished Hana. The old drunk better remember that when it comes time to pay."

A knock on the door and they fell silent. "Enter."

The door opened to reveal Sai.

"Yes?"

"Kakashi is planning on leaving in the morning without notifying you." The double/triple agent reported. "He plans on filing a report different than what has transpired."

Naruto snorted. "Like Ojii-san will believe it once I give mine." He scratched his chin. "Thank you Sai. See you back in Konoha."

The Root operative nodded and left.

"What are we going to do?" Hana asked.

"Sounds like Hatake is playing politics." Anko muttered.

"Is the prisoner able to travel?" Naruto asked.

Hana nodded. "As I said, a really bad sunburn, she'll be uncomfortable for some time, but nothing a few balms can't cure."

Naruto nodded. "We'll grab her and leave after Hatake and his team are asleep."

Anko smirked. "You want to be waiting at the gate for him."

"Not at all. I promised the Uchiha would be on report for his actions. I just happen to want to be sitting at the café by the gate sipping a drink when they arrive."

The two women smiled, then left to get ready. Naruto looked at Al. "We've got some problems." He and Ed informed the golem of their meeting Envy.

"Add in that someone took Gato right under Hana-chan's nose and this is making my gut itch."

Ed nodded. "Focus on the now. we'll talk with the old man about Orochimaru later."

XX

Under the cover of darkness, Team Alchemy slipped from Wave with one prisoner. Team 7 wouldn't know of this till sunrise when Kakashi was told by Tsunami who had watched the other team leave. She handed Hatake a scroll she said Naruto-sama had left for him.

With a sinking feeling Kakashi opened it.

**Don't ever fuck with me.**

Was written, and beneath it was a chibi-Naruto giving him the finger and signed;

**Konoha's Fullmetal Fox and Team Alchemy.**

A paw print and a snake were drawn below. Kakashi just knew that his team was boned once they got to Konoha.

_What is it about Naruto…_ he thought as he dragged his team out, knowing they'd never catch up, but figured the less time allowed the less of a spectacle this could be.

_Yeah, we're talking about the person who painted the Hokage Monument while running from his own teammates. _

Sai following in formation behind Sakura and the Uchiha actually smirked at the kicked look the Jounin had in his lone eye.

**AN: Wave is done. Back in Konoha next chapter. I might or might not write what happens to the Uchiha. Next time on Fullmetal Fox, Episode 23: She's…WHAT?**


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

Chapter 23

Konohagakure was peaceful usually. But the public disturbance of the Uchiha being arrested as he walked through the gates by Anbu and Kakashi being told his trial would be the day after next that he had until then to prepare a defense against the charges listed.

Sasuke however refused to go quietly. "I AM THE UCHIHA…UNHAND ME!!!"

The pair of Anbu snorted. "I see what Anko-san and Hana-san meant when they said he thought he could make demands of those above him." Boar masked Anbu said.

His partner, was Sparrow nodded. "Come along boy. We're being nice, don't push…"

"Shut it you idiot!" Sasuke snarled. Kakashi sighed and closed his eye as Sparrow hit a pressure point and Sasuke was felled like a sack of potatoes.

Boar picked up the now unconscious Uchiha and slapped a pair of chakra restraining cuffs and they shushined away.

Kakashi spotted Naruto and his team sitting at the café near the gate, the blond waved as he sipped his tea.

Kakashi sighed as civilians were in an uproar. Sai said he was going home and walked away. Sakura was howling like a banshee about its unfair to Sasuke.

"Excuse me Hatake-sama." A civilian merchant said coming up. "Why did those Anbu arrest Sasuke-sama like that?"

Kakashi knew why but rolled the scroll open anyways and read it aloud. He thought public opinion might influence the tribunal in Sasuke's case.

"Sasuke Uchiha…"

XX

Two Days Later…

Court Room 3 was packed between ninja and the civilian galleries. The three judges seats filled by the Hokage, Hiashi Hyuuga representing the clans and Danzo representing the ninja forces sat as Iruka Umino who was acting as the Hokage's assistant read the charges aloud.

"Sasuke Uchiha, Genin of Konohagakure, Age 12, member of Ninja Cell 7 under the Jounin Instructor Kakashi Hatake." He began reading from a duplicate scroll that had been given to Kakashi.

"You are hearby charged with the following offenses." Iruka continued. "Attempted murder of a superior during a mission. Failure to follow the orders of a superior, disrespecting higher ranked ninja. Demanding clan secrets of fellow Genin."

The last one had been supplied by Sai when he filed his report about how Sasuke had spied on other genin and demanded that they give him their clan secrets.

"Attacking a superior outside of training. Endangering the client while showboating."

"That is enough Iruka." Sarutobi said. He had to admit that Naruto when he filed his report and then when Danzo's own report was forwarded to him from Naruto's spy in Root he'd been shocked at what the Uchiha had been allowed to get away with.

"Sasuke Uchiha, how do you plead?" Hiashi to his right demanded.

"Innocent." Sasuke said standing before them. He had been groomed and coached by Kakashi this morning about how to behave.

Muttering filled the ninja gallery, while the civilians seemed pleased.

"You deny these charges then?" Danzo asked. Sai's report to him had left him dissatisfied with the Uchiha's actions.

"Honored tribunal, I request to face my accusers." Sasuke said instead of answering.

Mutters filled both galleries.

"De…" the hokage started but the doors opened and Naruto walked in, wearing black pants, dress shirt and a bright orange trench coat with the alchemist symbol on the back, the Uzumaki swirl on his left shoulder and the Konoha leaf spiral leaf on the other. His hair was tied backed and spiked.

"I have been summoned honored tribunal." He said giving a bow to the Hokage.

In the ninja gallery Ed was sitting in Hana's lap. Eboshi sat between Hana and Anko. Ibiki was behind them, watched.

"State your name and rank." Danzo ordered.

"Naruto Uzumaki-Elric, Konoha's Fullmetal Fox Alchemist." He and the Hokage had discussed when rank was asked he would answer…"Hokage's Hand."

Mutters were heard. The ninja that didn't know Naruto's rank just learned that he was above them. The civilians were upset at this. He was only outranked by the Hokage and in his position attacking him was in effect attacking the Hokage.

Sasuke's snort told everyone there that he didn't realize his position was in danger.

"Very well…Elric…" Hiashi began.

"Please call me Naruto Lord Hyuuga." The blond said.

Hiashi nooded. "Naruto, your report indicates the Uchiha in several troubling situations. Do you have witnesses to these events?"

"I do Lord Hyuuga." Naruto answered. "The incidents happened when we were sent to Wave to rescue Genin Cell 7 under Kakashi Hatake. The client, Tazuna had lied and the mission was a in fact a high A-rank with the inclusion of nuke nin from Kiri named Zabuza, a former member of the elite Seven Swordsmen of the Mist."

Muttering from the ninja faction was heard at this. "During the time since our arrival Genin Uchiha ignored orders from training to guarding the client. During training he ignored his cellmates, claiming they were a burden and held him back. One such incident was Genin Sai, no surname was out of chakra and collapsed, leaving Genin Sakura Haruno to carry Sai back to the clients house. Not once did the Uchiha offer to help nor did he look back, in effect abandoning a teammate because he was sulking."

Protests were yelled out by the civilians, but ignored. "Special Jounin Anko Mitarashi who was overseeing the training exercise ended up carrying Sai back to the clients house as the Haruno was nearly out of energy."

"What kind of training?" Danzo asked. He'd gotten the report, but wanted it on record.

"Endurance training, tree climbing and light contact taijutsu sparing."

"And they couldn't handle this?"

"Sasuke and Sai could, but Sai at the end was suffering from a mild nerve toxin." Naruto said.

The tribunal asked him several more questions. "The charge of attacking a superior outside of training, what happened?" Hiashi asked.

"I told Sasuke Uchiha no on teaching him my private skills, and some truths about his position as a Genin. He tried to attack me from behind. I took him down with a wrist hold and informed him that he would be reported and on trial. I was well within my rights at that time to kill him as we were on a mission."

Nods from many ninja in the gallery while there were protests from the civilians. "Conduct in the field as displayed by the Uchiha would have resulted in immediate execution. His Jounin Instructor however thought nothing of it." Naurto said looking to the gallery where Kakashi sat. "Between Uchiha's psych evaluation and his performance in the field…" Naruto gave a shrug. "I wonder how he is a ninja of Konohagakure."

The tribunal knew. The civilians pushed for his passing no matter what. They ignored the mental evaluation and now this was coming back to bite everyone.

"Sasuke Uchiha." Danzo intoned. "What do you have to say to your accuser now?"

Sasuke looked bored. "Like the idiots opinion matters." Muttering filled the balcony. "I am the last Uchiha, you can't afford to lose me. Therefore you shall release me, and order him to teach me his secrets to make me stronger as it is the best for Konoha after all." He smirked. "And the clans should open their scrolls to me. How do you expect me to get strong enough to stop Itachi, when you keep holding me back."

Angry muttering filled the ninja gallery at the arrogance of the Uchiha. Agreement could be heard from civilians. "Why are clans so secretive?" was heard.

"SILENCE!" the Hokage roared and the room fell quiet.

"No one is above the laws Sasuke Uchiha. And you've broken several of them. You show no regard for your superiors, nor your teammates. Let me tell you something boy, when he was here your brother was one of our best. He not only worked with his teammates, he protected them and he showed respect. You have done none of that, even here and now you act like a spoiled child making demands." He looked at Hiashi and then Danzo.

"We will deliberate." The three stepped away and into the side room. Naruto stood where he'd been since entering. Sasuke looked at him and sneered. "Your secrets will be mine dobe."

"Dream on Uchiha, because that's all it is, a dream." Naruto said, he tensed seeing Kakashi come down.

"Naruto, was this really necessary?"

"I think your porn rotted your brain Hatake. I know your not stupid, you were a captain in Anbu. What's changed so much that you fawn over this Genin so much that you sabotage the other two members of your squad by not giving them the proper training."

"We're not talking about my actions."

"Yet. Expect to be called on that soon Hatake." Narto said.

"If you're so worried, why didn't you take a Genin team like the Hokage asked of you?" Kakashi demanded.

"Because I realize that I would suck as a teacher, and my skills are better served elsewhere." _And I refuse to do anything to displease Anko-chan and Hana-chan._ He thought.

The two looked at one another. "Kakashi, remove these binders, I order you to release me." Sasuke said.

Naruto shot Kakashi a look that said. _This is your prized student._

"I cannot release you Sasuke. You are on trial."

"This is a farce, and you know it as well. They won't find me guilty. The village needs me too badly."

Naruto snorted. "And why would we need you Uchiha. You have yet to activate your family's famed Sharingan. Your nothing more than a slightly skilled Genin with a couple of fire jutsu's, your family's taijutsu style and a psychosis about killing your brother."

Sasuke snarled and hurled several insults. Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Really? You kissed your mother with that mouth…oh, wait, I forgot you Uchiha are a bunch of emotionless bastards that probably reproduced by jerking into a cup and having artificial insemination to avoid touching one another."

This carried around the gallery and many found it funny. Well the ninja side did. The civilians glowered at the blond for insulting their precious Uchiha.

"Face it Sasuke, your living off the fame from your family they created while being Konoha's police force, your brother's fame as he made Jounin at the youngest age ever at twelve. You have done nothing except brood and soak in the civilians adoration as the tragic survivor of a dead clan." Naruto said and he stepped up before Sasuke.

"You don't have a clan. Clan's are not composed of one. You are Sasuke Uchiha, orphan and that is it."

Sasuke snarled and went to lash out, but the chains held him in place and Naruto chuckled. "And you're considered a genius. The standard must have altered greatly."

It was less than ten minutes before the Hokage, Hiashi and Danzo returned. They handed Iruka their decision.

"Sasuke Uchiha, rise and receive the decision of this tribunal."

Sasuke stood and smirked at Naruto who was standing to the side with Kakashi.

"Sasuke Uchiha, it is the decision of the tribunal of Konohagakure on this date that you are stripped of your ninja status…"

The civilian gallery exploded in protest.

"SILENCE!" the hokage roared and they fell quiet. "Continue Iruka." He said once silence filled the room.

"Furthermore your chakra will be sealed. You will provide samples to the hospital should Konoha decide to return the Sharingan."

"YOU CAN'T DO THIS! I AM THE UCHIHA…!" Sasuke howled.

"You are a traitor. You will then be placed under house arrest for no less than five years. Escape attempts will call for immediate execution." Iruka continued.

"I am the last Uchiha…" Sasuke started.

"You seem to think that matters Sasuke." Iruka said coldly. "Failure to accept these punishments will result in the alternative and that would be immediate execution."

Silence filled the room. "Naruto Uzumaki-Elric, you will apply the seals upon Sasuke Uchiha. Should he leave his house or Konoha they will explode, killing him instantly."

Naruto nodded. Sarutobi was informing him that he knew of Naruto's study in seals over the years and he would be taking up the role of Konoha's seal master in the coming years with this action.

"I bow to the orders of this tribunal. If you will excuse me, I will double check the required scrolls for the seals needed."

"By your leave Naruto." The Hokage said. Naruto left the courtroom, he saw Anko and Hana making their way out as well.

_Eboshi-baa-chan will tell me what else happens._ He thought.

XX

Naruto looked at his library and sighed. "Why is the old man having you do the sealing?" Anko asked.

"He knows I've been studying seals. With Jiraiya of the Sannin in the wilds, he's hoping I will step up and fill the role as well." Naruto said as he looked over the scrolls.

"What are you looking for?" Hana asked as she petted Ed, the fox was making a light purring sound.

"Containment seals and prison seals. The ones the old man want are difficult and I want to make sure they are done right."

"Book six…" Ed purred as Hana's fingers found a tender spot turning him into goo.

"Thanks." Naruto said and finding the proper book flipped through it and found what he was looking for. "I'll need to put these on his house…and these two on him." Naruto pointed to the seals.

Anko looked over his shoulder. "They don't look that difficult."

"Good, you can help." Naruto said and Anko cursed. "Me and my big mouth."

"What should I do?" Hana asked.

Naruto looked at the library. "Could you pack these up and transport them to the apartment. With Orochimaru on the loose and eager to learn about alchemy, I can't leave these here. He knows about them. And while I trust the seals Ed and I put up, with a snake you can never be certain it won't find a crack to crawl into."

Hana nodded. "Ed can help right?"

The two-tailed fox whined. "Sorry, but I'll need him." Naruto formed a cross seal and made five shadow clones. "But I'll leave you help."

Hana smiled and kissed him. "What a considerate boyfriend."

Naruto, Anko and Ed left to prepare the Uchiha's home for his long term imprisonment and then onto the hospital to apply the seals.

"So, the Uchiha is going to wank off into a cup…his daddy should be so proud." Anko teased and Naruto's laughter filled the streets of Konoha.

XX

Naruto sighed as they entered the Hokage's office. The seals on the apartment hadn't been hard. It was at the hospital that the problems cropped up as they ended up knocking the Uchiha out to apply the seals to his body. A nurse who was an Uchiha fan tried to attack Naruto, which caused Anko to kill her as Naruto was busy with the seals and a mistake could have been a disaster.

Slumping down Naruto looked at the Hokage who had arrived just before them. "Did we do the right thing?"

Sarutobi nodded and handed him a message. "From a spy in Orochimaru's camp. Seems he was planning on stealing the Sharingan. This will prevent him from that."

Naruto sighed.

"I wanted to talk to you about the girl you brought back with you three days ago."

"Haku? What about her?"

"She's not listed anywhere as a missing nin." The Hokage said.

Naruto nodded at this. "So we'll let her go then."

"Actually…"

Naruto looked at his mentor and adoptive grandfather figure. "What?" he said.

"She's requested to be assigned to you as a field medic."

Naruto's eyes widened.

Anko smirked. "That would be helpful. Hana knows enough to patch up minor wounds…and you have to admit she was a decent fighter."

"But…"

Sarutobi smirked. "So I agreed. She'll be watched for three months and wear a seal similar to the one Inuzuka's use. It's a tether so she won't be able to go far from you…"

"WHAT???!" Naruto's yell could be heard near the borders of fire country.

**AN: The Uchiha is punished, Haku assigned to Team Alchemy. I laugh at those that thought someone was pregnant. Not yet anyways. Next Time on Fullmetal Fox, Episode 24: "Ever After."**


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

Chapter 24

Naruto woke to find himself in a unique position. He had a naked Anko and Hana snuggled up on either side of him. It was the weight atop of him that made his mind reboot as he recalled the seal being placed on Haku in the Hokage's office and the fact she could only go one hundred feet from him before it pulled like a choke collar and reeled her in like a fish on a line.

_What is she doing in bed with us?_ Naruto thought. The invisible leash let her roam the apartment and he knew that they'd put her in the guest room last nigh after the sealing as she was unconscious.

Opening his eyes and blinking he saw her black hair was loose and he could feel she was still wearing an oversized shirt that Anko and Hana had changed her into. _Thank Kami. I thought for a minute I was becoming a pervert in my sleep._ Naruto thought.

But the near naked girl atop of him didn't help his blood flow issues and naked woman on either side of him really didn't help.

Haku seemed to stir and he froze, silently admitting she made a soft "mew" sound before she snuggled in to his chest was rather cute, one hand resting on his chest, the other one…

_Oh Kami…please don't squeeze._ He thought thinking of the beating he was sure to get.

Kami seemed to be against him, as Haku's slender, warm hand began to rub him, Naruto could only let out a soft whimper.

A snicker from his left told him Anko was awake. "Would you get her off?" he whispered and he heard Hana snicker as well. "Someone's going to get off." The Inuzuka damn near purred.

A snickering sound from atop of him told him Haku was awake. "Haku-chan, do we need to talk about wandering hands?" he said, trying to keep his voice even.

She looked up finally and he saw her dark eyes.

Hana spoke. "While you were unconscious back in Wave after you blew yourself and Haku here up, we talked with her."

"And she asked all about you…Naruto-sama." Anko from the other side.

"Seems that no one's ever talked to her nicely or guessed that she was a girl." Hana continued.

"But what really got her, was when after you used that fire attack, you went out of your way to shield her."

Haku just looked at him, her eyes soft and concered.

"Told you that chivalrous side turned a girl on." Anko said. Naruto knew he was doomed as all three were looking at him.

"She can…" was as far as he got before Haku hugged him. He felt tears on his chest and he managed to free his arms from Anko and Hana to hug her.

"Shhh. Its okay Haku-chan. No one here is going to make you do anything. Your safe here." He told her.

Hana and Anko shared a look as they slipped from the room. Anko pausing to pick up Ed by the scruff of his neck.

"AW…Hey, I want to see…"

"Can it furball. Its not about sex right now. this is comfort, and Naruto needs to talk with her alone, meaning no wisecracks from you." Anko said as she grabbed her robe from by the door and once out Hana closed it.

XX

Haku spent nearly ten minutes shivering while Naruto held her and made soft soothing sounds.

"You thought I would force you?" he finally asked quietly.

She nodded.

"Never. If you want to date someone go ahead. You are not my prisoner nor my property. You are Haku, a kick ass ninja and a beautiful young woman that can and will do whatever she wants."

"You mean that Naruto-sama?" she asked, her voice low, uncertain.

"I do, and you don't have to call me sama. Just Naruto. And remember this Haku, you are no one's tool." She was silent.

"Say it Haku-chan." He said.

"Wha-What if I want to be your tool?" she asked.

"I wouldn't accept that." He said. "I would accept you as a friend, a precious person."

"Would you love me? Not now, but…could you see me someday as you look at Anko and Hana?"

"I could." Naruto said softly. "You are special Haku. Never sell yourself for less than your worth and you are worth all the ryo in the elemental nations."

He could feel Haku's smile as she buried her head into his chest.

"Yo-You see me as a friend?"

"Yes. You were only doing a job on the bridge. The same as me and the others. You'll pass your time quickly, and once the leash is off…"

Haku looked up. "Wh-What if I wish it to remain?"

"What? Why would you do that? Its…" Naruto asked confused.

"Because it would keep me here with you and Anko and Hana." She said.

"You don't need that Haku-chan."

Haku was quiet for a bit and seemed to purr as Naruto ran his hand through her hair. Her hand was tracing where the auto-mail met flesh. "How did this happen?" she asked.

"Long time ago." Naruto said. "I was hunted by civilians and ninja of this village. They thought of me as…"

XX

Hana backed away from the door and wiped the tears from her eyes. Anko looked at her curiously. "What? What's wrong?"

Hana smiled then. "He's telling her about how he got his auto-mail arm."

Anko smirked. "She's staying then. Good. She's too nice of a person to allow the idiots on the council to dictate what happens to her."

"You do realize we'll need a bigger bed." Hana said sitting across from her.

"Bah. Minor details." Anko said waving a dismissive hand. "You felt for her when she told us how Zabuza found her in the gutter."

Hana nodded. "Both her and Naruto had hard lives. He'll heal her heart and soul."

"You do know we'll have to introduce her to your mom." Anko said.

"Ugh." Hana said with a thought. "So, the leash thing, it can be transferred to any of us, right?" Anko asked.

"Wha? Oh, yeah. Naruto will need a drop of blood on the master seal and a mental switch over."

Anko nodded as she stood and headed for what was supposed to be her room. "Grabbing a shower and clothes. Remind the stud that we have to be back in the old man's office before noon."

Hana smirked and watched her co-mate leave. "Pack's growing strong. No more mates." She said softly. "Now we just need pups." Ed who had been lounging on the sofa where Anko had dropped him snickered.

XX

(Hokage's Office)

Noon rolled around and they were waiting for one Jounin.

The Hokage looked at the chuunin at the door. "Get Kakashi here now, and tell him if he's not here in five minutes I'll have all his books confiscated and he's banned from buying more."

The chuunin fled.

Off to the side Team Alchemy were talking amongst themselves. "So, what is to be done about Hatake's team I wonder?" Naruto said.

"Well with the Uchiha under house arrest, Sai was pulled and returned to Root." Anko said leaning in keeping her voice low.

"That leaves Haruno." Hana shook her head. "She's going to have to wait till next spring for a new team to pass the academy."

"Hatake needs to up her training." Anko said. "I saw her sitting sulking across from the Uchiha's house."

Haku was quiet, she was dressed in her ninja gear minus the mask, which was in a pouch on her waist, the only alteration was the leaf symbol instead of the Kiri. Her dark eyes taking in the gathered Jounin. "Naruto-sa…Naruto, why are we here?" she asked.

"All Jounin are here because this years Chuunin Exam is taking place in Konoha." Naruto said softly to her, aware that the Hokage wanted to be the one to announce it.

"I am the Hokage's Hand, Anko, Hana and you are Jounin…"

"I am?" the dark haired girl asked, getting a snicker from the other two.

"Oh…yeah, um…surprise." Naruto said with a grin. "You were unconscious last night when the old man asked me what to rank you as." He handed her the hitai-ate, which she wrapped around her forehead.

"And as a member of my team you only answer to me or the old man." Naruto said.

"Which rocks." Anko said with a grin.

The arrival of Kakashi who was being pushed by the chuunin indicated the start of the meeting.

Haku looked at the one eyed Jounin and didn't like him one bit.

"As some of you know." He shot a look at Naruto and his team. "This years Chuunin exam will be held here in Konoha."

"Its already that time of year?" a couple Jounin were heard muttering.

"When will it be?" Asuma asked.

"In seven days." The Hokage said.

Mutters of surprise were heard. "I want to know which Genin teams will be taking it."

Many of the gathered Jounin declined. "I Maito Gai nominate my passionate team of Neji Hyuuga, TenTen and Rock Lee. They will show all their flames of youth and…"

"Thank you Gai." The Hokage said cutting off the speech he was certain would have ended with a blinding sunset.

"Ah, what the hell." Asuma said stepping forward. "I Asuma Sarutobi nominate Genin Cell 10 comprised of Shikamaru Nara, Ino Yamanaka and Choji Akamichi for this Chuunin exam."

Anko jabbed Naruto in the ribs as Kurenai stepped forward. "She made it."

Naruto nodded and was happy for Anko's friend.

"I Kurenai Yuhi nominate my Genin Team comprised of Kiba Inuzuka, Shino Aburame and Hinata Hyuuga for this Chuunin exam." The red eyed woman said stepping back.

A cough drew their attention and to the disbelief of everyone, Kakashi stepped forward.

"I would like to nominate my team of Sasuke Uchiha, Sakura Haruno and Sai for this…"

"Kakashi, your team was disbanded." The Hokage said. "You only have Sakura Haruno as a student as of this moment."

"Sir, is it wise to allow a valuable student like Sasuke to…" Kakashi tried.

"Sasuke Uchiha is under house arrest Kakashi, you know this. He was stripped of his ninja status and his chakra sealed away."

"I think it's a mistake to…" Kakashi said.

"Give it a rest Hatake." Naruto said from his position with his team. "Your prized student got spanked for what he did. If you were any kind of teacher, you'd be helping your last student who is sulking outside the Uchiha's place and hasn't trained at all."

Kakashi gave Naruto a hard look. "Your proud of yourself."

"Yes." Naruto said. "You failed as a teacher Hatake. Your student attacked other fellow ninja and you pass it off with lame ass excuses"

Kakashi clenched his fist and took a step forward. "If you weren't…"

"Tell you what Hatake, you want a piece of me? Fine. We'll have a match, the Hokage will be the judge."

"When?" Kakashi seemed eager.

"Day before the Chuunin exam. It'll give you time to prepare."

Kakashi nodded. "Fine. Stipulations?"

"Your choice." Naruto said.

Kakashi seemed to grin. "To the death."

Naruto bowed his head while the gathered Jounin muttered. "As you wish."

"Stakes?" Kakashi asked.

"Name what you want Kakashi, since you seem to be working yourself up for something." Naruto said with a bored tone.

"I win, Sasuke is freed and reinstated as a ninja of Konoha."

Naruto looked at the Hokage. "I'll allow it." He said.

"See you in seven days." Naruto said heading for the door with his team following.

"What do you want if you win?" Kakashi called out.

Naruto looked over his shoulder. "I have all that I want. But I will be satisfied to know that by beating you, the Sharingan will be gone from Konoha." Naruto and his team left, the Jounin were muttering now louder in disbelief that Kakashi would go this far.

At his desk the Hokage sighed and reached for his pipe. _This is going to be ugly._

**AN: Next time, Episode 25 "Naruto versus Kakashi…FIGHT!"**

**Sorry for the delay, provider went down for the weekend. You get two this time.**


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

Chapter 25

Seven days passed quickly and word spread amongst the ninja population. Sarutobi tried talking both men out of it, Kakashi refused and Naruto said he would only back out if Kakashi did.

"What if I order you not to?" The Hokage asked.

Naruto looked at him. "Please don't. Hatake is pushing this because he believes that your former teammates and Danzo will back him."

"He's one of our best Jounin Naruto."

"He is, but lately his head is up his ass. I asked him what he wanted and he set the terms." The alchemist sighed as he looked at the Hokage.

"Ever since the Uchiha massacre he's been…different." Naruto said before leaving the Hokage, who prepared the paperwork for the upcoming death match.

Morning came, Naruto was standing outside the tower. Several Jounin were already there.

"So much for keeping things quiet." Naruto muttered to Haku and Anko. They saw where he was looking and saw several members of the council.

"They are hoping Hatake wins and frees the Uchiha." Anko said.

"Is it possible?" Haku asked.

"We're ninja Haku-chan, anything is possible." Naruto said to the raven haired kunoichi next to him.

"Hana better hurry up, or she'll miss it." Anko said as they saw Hatake appear next to the council members.

"I'm surprised." Naruto said. "He's not reading that smut."

Across the field Kakashi was glaring at Naruto who was standing relaxed with the two women. Jounin, Chuunin and even genin were showing along the sidelines.

"Danzo is looking eager." Anko said noticing the old war horse who was near the Hokage's former teammates and advisors.

"Its time." Naruto said as the Hokage came from the tower. "You both signed the waiver forms." He said. "You both agreed to the stipulations." He said and both nodded.

Hiruzen sighed. "Very well then. Everyone else back off the field." The Hokage intoned as he walked towards the raised platform. "This match is to…the death. May Kami have mercy on your souls."

He lowered his arm and everyone tensed.

XX

Naruto stood wearing his outfit he'd modeled off of Ed's. he sighed as Kakashi took a relaxed stance.

"You know Hatake, you wanted this, you could you know…fight." Naruto said. "But then I guess you aren't eager to die."

Kakashi attacked, moving quickly. His kick missed, but Naruto barely moved to avoid it.

"I guess we should give the genin a show." Naruto said in a bored tone. "Taijutsu first." He said and lashed out with a palm strike with his auto-mail hand, it connected against Kakashi's chest and sent him backwards in pain.

"Come on Kakashi. You're a jounin. Hell you're a former Anbu captain. You telling me that one hit is all you can take?"

Kakashi growled around the pain and went at Naruto again. Both men exchanged blows, their feet and hands moving quickly, they separated putting fifteen feet between them.

Naruto smiled as he wiped his lip where a blow grazed him. "That's more like it."

"You won't be so cocky when I kill you." Kakashi growled. "I'll free my student."

"And what of your other students?" Naruto asked as they went back, their fight ranged around the field.

Kakashi growled as they separated again. His hands flashed and Naruto realizing what they were smiled. "Ah, lesson two. Genjutsu." He said and formed his own seals and both men vanished.

"What the?" was heard around the field. Anko with Haku smirked. "Hatake thinks to use it against Naruto, but the stud's too quick and made it affect the whole field."

The thundering sound of a fist connecting and those watching watched as Kakashi seemed to explode out of thin air and rocket skywards.

Naruto reappeared and looked up. "Final lesson. Ninjutsu." He said forming several seals, it took the jounin to realize the blond was forming two different jutsu's, using single hand seals for each.

As Kakashi fell back to earth he was bombarded by violent winds that sliced into his armor and sent him back into the air, he reached for his hitai-ate and pulled it back to reveal the sharingan. It was then that he realized the second jutsu Naruto created wasn't an attack jutsu, it was a flare and he screamed in pain covering his eye, he didn't see the ground until he impacted with it.

XX

Naruto stood in a relaxed position. "Submit Kakashi, and I won't kill you." He said after looking at the Hokage.

"NEVER!" Kakashi raged as he struggled to his knees, coughing up blood that stained his mask.

"Your blind in the sharingan eye until you see a healer. Give up now."

"I'll never give up to you demon!" Kakashi said.

Several people that knew Naruto knew things just got worse for Kakashi. The blonds face shut down all emotion, his eyes became like ice.

"As you wish." Naruto said and he crouched on the ground and drew something in the dirt. "Never is a long time. I'm going to give you your wish and let you see it." Naruto said and ignoring the muttering around the field clapped his hands and slammed them into the array he'd sketched.

Alchemic red energy arched from the array and lashed out striking Kakashi who had just gotten to his feet.

Everyone watched in shock as from his feet it began, as Kakashi was slowly transformed into a living iron statue, his one hand reaching out, the other one clutched to his chest, his uncovered eyes in shock.

"Hope you enjoy an eternity Kakashi." Naruto whispered.

It took the Hokage several minutes to shake being stunned before he announced the winner.

"Winner…Naruto Uzumaki-Elric."

Anko and Haku's cheers were the loudest. Across the field the council and Danzo were stunned. Their plans in ruins.

Hiruzen Sarutobi looked at the iron statue of Kakashi Hatake. _What are we going to do with that?_

XX

(Apartment)

"And he was like…POW…and Hatake was in the air. it was awesome, you should have seen it." Anko was saying to Hana.

"Had clinic duty. All the dogs needed their shots." Hana said. The four were sitting on the couch. Anko was on Naruto's lap, while Hana and Haku were on either side of the blond.

"Naruto-kun used the three styles to humiliate the silver haired man." Haku said.

"And he turned him into a statue." Anko added. "Wonder what the old man is going to do with him."

Naruto who was half sleeping, half listening smiled. "Don't know, don't care. I'm done with him, don't want to think about him anymore."

"But stud, think about it, he could be like centerpiece…our build a fountain around him in the garden. Maybe we could have him in the training room for target practice." Anko said.

"I left him to Ojii-san." Naruto said as Hana was stroking his whisker marks. "Got news." Naruto said.

"Ojii-san is having us work the exam."

"What do you mean work?" Anko asked.

Naruto smiled, and told them.

"No." Anko said getting off the blond and pacing back and forth. "No, no, no, no, Hell FUCKING NO!"

Haku looked uncertain. "When you say us, you mean…"

"All four of us." Naruto said opening an eye and looking at her. "You're a special Jounin and a part of our team…"

Hana smiled as she leaned in, sniffing his shoulder and neck. She heard the unspoken _"Family"_ from Naruto, the other two girls not noticing it yet.

"No." Anko said again. "I want nothing to do with the little shits."

"Anko, the Hokage gave us an order." Naruto said.

"Then write me up for insubordination. I'll spend sixty days in a cell." The snake mistress said pouting like a child.

"Please stud. Anything but this." She begged.

"Anything?" Naruto asked with a grin.

Hana laughed as Naruto told her the other option and Anko's yell of frustration.

XX

(Inuzuka Compound)

"Where are they?" Tsume asked her daughter.

Hana sighed. "Haku needed some things, so Naruto-kun took her to get them. Anko went to that dango stand of hers pouting."

"What's wrong? You aren't having trouble now are you?" her mother asked.

"No. No trouble in our…pack." Hana said figuring that was the best way to describe them. "Naruto-kun told us our job during the upcoming Chuunin exam and Anko is having a fit."

Tsume sighed. "When will you three grow up and give me some pups to spoil?"

Hana blushed. "Working on it mother. We…we added Haku and she's getting used to us all yet."

"Yes, your new girlfriend. How many more women are you going to allow near your alpha?"

"None." Hana said with a possessive growl. "But there was something about Haku…and Naruto really liked her the moment he met her." She said. "Her life was similar to Naruto's growing up."

Tsume put several more dishes on the table. "So, I get to meet your third mate…"

"Mom, ease off. Haku is kinda skittish still." Hana explained how they acquired Haku and the leash jutsu.

"Just give her time to get used to us and our all out insanity before you begin the innuendo's and insinuations."

"Very well." Tsume said. "But, I expect one of you three to give me grandchildren to spoil. Kami knows the way your brother acts he'll never find a mate."

Hana laughed. "I know he's sweet on the Hyuuga heir." She told her mother and knowing her as well as she did, her little brother was going to get the third degree soon.

XX

"Thank you for doing this Naruto-kun." Haku said as the blond carried the bags. "I really needed more clothes than the two sets I had, and personal effects. I can't keep using Anko's and Hana's."

"No problem Haku-chan. As for sharing, I doubt either one cared." He said. "Anything else?" he asked.

Haku paused and shook her head. "No."

Naruto sealed everything into a scroll. "Let's pick up Anko-chan than. We're due at the Inuzuka's for dinner. Hana said her mom wants to meet you."

"The same woman who slept with you several times?" Haku asked.

Poor Naruto walked into a street pole, getting a musical laugh from his companion

**AN: The chuunin exam begins. What is it the Hokage has asked of Team Alchemy? Find out next time episode 26 "This is a test"**


	26. Chapter 26

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

Chapter 26

Dinner with the Inuzuka matriarch went off without a hitch, Tsume thought Haku was the sweetest thing and adopted her on the spot, much to the girls embarrassment.

Naruto put up with the teasing from the woman who had taken him into her home and didn't bat an eye at him sleeping with her daughter and two other women.

Anko sulked about having to work the exam.

"I just don't see why the old man wants us to run it."

"Look at it this way Anko-chan." Naruto said from his place on the floor before the fire surrounded by three women. Tsume was in her recliner sipping her evening wine. "We get to actually hunt down Genin and remove them from the exam. This is better than just letting them wipe out one another in the Forest."

Tsume snorted. "Only you and Anko think of that place as a playground. Everyone else has a healthy respect for the dangers there already."

"Oh, Tsume we respect the dangers, we just like the place as it gives a perfect example of equivalent exchange."

Anko snorted. "The little shits aren't ready. I can't believe that they entered them so under prepared."

"Well, Team 7 isn't around anymore." Hana said. She looked at Naruto. "Speaking, what will happen to the girl now that Hatake is a lawn ornament and the Uchiha is a permanent resident in his home?"

Naruto sighed. "She's been picked up by Anbu that was on patrol. Seems she's camped out in front of the Uchiha's abode for the whole week. She'll be undergoing mental evaluation and rehabilitation and returned to the academy."

"Back to the exam." Tsume said. "What do you mean you get to hunt down the Genin?"

Naruto smiled. "It says it all. The teams that survive Ibiki will be put in the field in the Forest. Each team will have a scroll they are to protect. Not only from other Genin, but from the exam proctors as well."

"And the fun thing is that they need two scrolls to enter the tower." Hana said having talked with Naruto about it earlier.

"One heaven, one earth." Naruto said with a grin. "If they can beat us, they'll get a scroll they're missing. Otherwise they hunt the other teams and take a chance."

Hana smirked as she looked at Anko. "Kiba will be in the exam."

The snake jonin's eyes lit up. "I get to torture the little shit?"

Tsume sighed. "I love my son Anko, I would prefer that he is returned in relatively good condition."

Anko pouted. "No fair."

Haku looked nervous. "We really can attack Genin?"

"We can't use any lethal jutsu's or anything higher than a C-rank." Naruto explained to the ice user. "The Oldman doesn't want us to be unfair and all that."

"Your abilities don't have ranks." Anko said.

"I've been meaning to ask Naruto." Tsume said getting the blonds attention. "Hatake, is he alive in that…statue?"

"Kind of. It would take a master alchemist to reverse the effects, and since I'm the only alchemist around, that's not going to happen. He's basically in a form of stasis; everything he is and was is made into the statue. If I reverse it he wouldn't know any time had passed, but he will be in pain as his body has been basically shutdown and muscles locked."

Tsume shuddered. "Remind me kiddo, if you ever get pissed at me, allow me to fall on a kunai."

"Nah, I love you too much. I'll just hand you to your daughter."

Tsume looked at her daughter. "I thought you loved me?" she mock whined to Naruto.

XX

(Shadows of an abandoned building)

Two figures speak

"It's been confirmed. Hatake is dead. The Kyuubi child turned him into a statue."

"And what of the Uchiha?"

"Under house arrest with some security seals milord."

"Kukuku. Fools. We'll leave him there for now. Make sure our people know to keep a low profile. Any slip ups and I will personally end them."

"As you command Master." The first figure says. "Where will you be?"

"Around. I am ashamed to say the lab I found in my youth has been removed. I had hoped to recover several texts to explain things more about Alchemy. My experiments aren't turning out as planned."

"Master, what if we captured the Kyuubi container. Reports say he has a power unlike any other."

"No. Keep low and do not approach. Study him, but do not fail me."

"I won't Lord Orochimaru." The figure said.

"Go. We can't meet again until after the second exam."

The first figure slunk away, Orochimaru stepped out of the shadows. "Locking the Uchiha away won't protect him, it's just made him an easier target."

Orochimaru vanished with a soft chuckle.

XX

The day of the exam came up and at the end of the first exam there was twenty-eight teams left.

Anko had been sent (under protest) to lead the remaining Genin to Training Ground 44, known to many as the Forest of Death.

Naruto smirked as Anko arrived, the Genin trailing behind her at a distance. "What did you do to them hime?" He asked. Behind him Haku and Hana were in the screened off area with the scrolls. The Haimaru Trio around the table to prevent anything funny from happening.

"Nothing. Can you believe Ibiki let eighty-four of the little shits pass?"

Naruto looked and sighed. "He's getting soft."

"I know. That's what I said." She looked over her shoulder. "I will say the Konoha Genin surprised me. Thought they'd be the first out."

Naruto smirked. "They've got guts."

"Or balls bigger than yours." Anko said with a lewd grin as the Genin formed a small crowd.

"Showtime." Naruto said and stepped forward. Ed balanced on his shoulder, both working hard to ignore Anko's attempts to get them to blush with several more whispered lewd comments as he passed.

"Alright, listen up." He said gaining their attention.

"HEY, YOUR OUR AGE!" a Genin from Rain yelled.

"And your point is?" Naruto asked, then continued on not letting him answer. "My name is Naruto Uzumaki-Elric. I am Konoha's Fullmetal Fox Alchemist. As of this moment know this. Your souls belong to Kami, but your asses are mine."

A shudder swept the gathered Genin as the blond before them lashed out with killing intent that made one Genin crap himself in fear.

"Behind these walls is the most dangerous training ground in Konoha. To some it's affectionately called The Forest of Death. To Anko-hime and I, this is our playground. Right now my brother is passing out release forms. It needs your signature so that Konoha is not held liable if you are badly injured or should you die."

Genin looked at the tall suit of armor with glowing red eyes handing out papers and pens.

"You mean we can kill?" one genin asked eagerly.

"Yes." Naruto said and waited before adding, "And that gives us the right to kill you."

"What?"

"When you bring up your release forms for your squad you will be given a scroll."

Anko held up a heaven and earth scroll.

"Over the next five days you will need to acquire the opposite scroll in order to enter the tower that is in the center of the forest." Naruto paced back and forth for a bit as he looked them over. His eyes rested on the Grass nin and the one with the bamboo hat had way too much chakra for a genin.

Making a note to keep an eye on her, Naruto continued. "During the next five days it is a free-for-all survival test. You will need to outwit other teams, as well as avoid the Chunin and Jonin in the forest, as well as the natural eco-system of giant tigers, bugs, plant life and whatnot."

"Why do we have to face higher ranked ninja?" Kiba asked from where he was with his teammates.

Naruto smiled at his long time friend. "Because in life you will be faced with such obstacles." Naruto said, not telling the Genin that the gathered proctors couldn't use anything higher than C-rank offensive jutsu's.

His eyes spotted a mob of red hair and smiled seeing Gaara and his sister. He noted the stuffed raccoon clutched to his friends chest and could nearly hear it's growls. He noted Gaara's older brother was with them, but still standing several paces away.

_Talk with them later. I have a job to do now._ he thought as the first few teams entered the blind to hand in their forms and get their scrolls.

"Suna sent a couple teams." Anko remarked as they stood near the table.

"I see Gaara's here." Naruto said.

"You're not going to play favorites are you?"

Naruto shot his lover a look and she grinned. "Didn't think so." She said. "Can we go after Hana's brother first?"

Naruto laughed and it chilled the blood of Team 10 as they froze entering the blind.

"Naruto-kun, stop scaring them." Hana mock scolded. "We'll get to hunt them soon."

"Sad they get a twenty minute head start." Anko said seeing Team 8 approaching.

"We've got to give them some chance hime." Naruto said.

"Bring it." Kiba said and winced when his teammates slapped him across the back of the head.

"Kiba-kun, that's not nice."

"Its just my sister and her…" here Kiba paused and looked at Naruto, Anko and Hana. "You know what, I don't want to know." He took the scroll and had Akamaru swallow it.

Several more teams came and went, it was Gaara's time and he looked at them while Temari got the scroll and handed in the forms. "Uzumaki-sama."

"FUCKING BASTARD!" Shukaku hissed loudly as the stuffed animal tried to get free. Gaara ignored it and looked at the man who freed him.

"Hey Gaara. Hope you and your siblings do well." Naruto said with a grin. "Regardless, we'll hook up later and talk some."

Gaara nodded. "I would like that Uzumaki-sama."

"Naruto. You're my friend Gaara, call me Naruto." The blond said.

Gaara blinked several times. Temari stepped up and handed him the scroll.

"What's this I hear you have three women already Naruto-kun?" the fan user asked with hands on hips.

Naruto looked at Anko and Hana, both growled and were making mental decisions to eliminate the fan girl (intended pun).

"Well ummm…Good luck in the exam." Naruto said trying to avoid the question and the consequences.

Temari got a grin. "How about if I win, I get a date?" she said and before any of the other women could say no or do anything, Temari leaned in and stole a kiss before walking away with her hips swinging.

Gaara looked from his sister to the whisker marked blond. "I am not kissing you." The sand user said and walked away followed by his brother who just grunted.

Naruto dazed from the pounce kiss said nothing. Three women however were radiating killing intent that the next team that came up from Iwa turned around and quit before handing in their forms.

**AN: The next exam kicks in as Team Alchemy roams the forest. What will they do, who will they encounter, and will Owen stop being a gas bag? Next time on Total Drama…**

**Whoops, wrong mind. Episode 27 "Forest of Death"**

**PS: No chapter next week, gone till the first weekend of December, hope you all have a nice thanksgiving.**


	27. Chapter 27

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

Chapter 27

The teams were at their starting gates. Naruto was sitting against the wall as Haku hit the buzzer and the gates opened, twenty-seven teams entered the forest.

"I can't believe the Iwa team gave up before they ever got a scroll." Anko whined where she sat with a box of Dango.

Hana leaning back to back with her shrugged. "Would you have come over to the table with three pissed of kunoichi?"

"Yes." Naruto and Anko answered and chuckled.

"So we have fifteen minutes before we can enter the forest?" Haku asked checking her weapons and pulled out her hunter nin mask with the Uzumaki spiral in place of the Kiri symbol.

"Technically yes, but we can delay some." Naruto said. "I've got Anbu checking the perimeter first. Then we'll let the Chunin squads with Jonin captains in first and then we'll go in." Naruto said as he swiped one of Anko's dango sticks, ignoring her growl.

"I never heard of an exam like this." Haku said.

"Well originally it was just going to be the team entering the forest and attacking one another to get the scrolls." Naruto said.

"But Naruto thought that was boring and altered the second round." Hana said from where she had summoned the Haimaru trio from their scroll. She held up various pieces of cloth.

"Where did you get those?" Naruto asked.

"Some of the teams used the basin and towels to wash up before they handed in their scrolls. I had Ebisu collect the towels after each use and bag them." Hana said as she gave her dogs a scent to follow.

"Mean, Hana-chan, just plain mean." Naruto said.

"Nah. If I was mean I would get the whole kennel on their heels."

Naruto sighed as he flexed his adamantium right arm. "Everyone got food for several days?"

"Yes dad." Anko said mockingly.

"Now remember, we can't kill…" Naruto began.

"But we can sure as shit fuck them up." Anko said with a wicked grin.

An Anbu landed in a crouch next to them. "Sir, we have a situation."

XX

"Gross." Naruto said as he crouched to look at the remains. "What team is this?" he asked.

Ebisu who was holding a clipboard checked it over. "The team is from Kusa…the Grass team." He said in his snooty manner.

Naruto closed his eyes. "This didn't happen recently."

Anko looked and growled. "I know who did this."

"Anko-chan?"

"There is only one person I know of that is sick enough to strip the flesh from the faces like this. He wears them as disguises and trophy's."

Naruto looked at Ebisu. "Get all the Anbu, Jonin and Chunin squads that are taking part in this exam. It looks like our purpose has just altered."

Anko went to leap through the open gate, but Naruto grabbed her and pulled her back.

"Not alone." He said. "We do this by the numbers and in teams."

"We can't wait…"

"We can." Naruto said and looked at Hana who nodded. "I'll get mom and the tracking team." She leapt away.

Anko looked pissed as she was kept from going anywhere by Naruto holding on to her.

"Who did this?" Haku asked quietly.

"S-Rank nuke nin, the Snake Sannin Orochimaru, formerly of Konoha." Naruto said.

As the teams arrived Naruto looked at Anko. "I'm letting you go, you will wait, or I will transfigure your jacket into cement."

"Fine." She sulked, and crossed her arms under her breasts.

Naruto looked at the gathered ninja.

"Alright, listen up. We have a hostile nuke nin inside the Training ground. Identity is speculated to be that of Orochimaru who is posing as a Genin of Kusa." He said and the teams fell silent.

"Each team will have a Inuzuka tracker with them, and we shall be looking to keep him away from the Genin, as they appear to be his goal in this exam, and I hate to speculate at for what reason. I want teams roving inwards. Check every tree, stump, rabbit hole, snake hole, fox den, tiger den, outhouse, shit house and anything else you can think of. He's been in there for twenty minutes already, I want him found. If you find him, send up a flare. Fight to delay and contain as he is a Sannin and should not be taken lightly. Spread out amongst the gates and get going. We shall be using frequency 7 on the com-links. When I indicate switch three up when needed." Ebisu was passing them out as Naruto gave directions.

"Don't be heroes, be smart. If you come across any of the Genin, send them to the tower, the exam has been compromised." Naruto slipped his own on. "Good luck, good hunting."

The teams scattered, many entering the nearest gate and scattering in teams of four.

"Ebisu, inform the Hokage, and tell him what frequency we'll be on. Get the Jonin sensei's to the tower and have them aware. Keep your eyes on the Oto, Kusa and the other foreign teams."

The Jonin nodded and leapt away.

"Ready?"

Anko was through the gate with Hana and the dogs. Haku and Naruto were next, Ed was on his shoulder.

"This is not good." The fox said.

"I know." The blond said. "But we can't take the risk that he's after any of the Genin."

"And at the same time the bastard might be fucking with us." Ed said as they continued to leap.

"I know, but I'm doing the best I can." Naruto said.

"What about the Uchiha?" Ed asked. Naruto's smile was feral. "I hope he tries. The seals will make the Uchiha into a smear on the ground. Regardless, the Uchiha isn't our problem."

"What did you do?" Ed asked holding on as best he can. "Gravity seal mixed in with the one that will detonate in his head."

Ed laughed as they leapt, the Haimaru getting a scent from the corpse of the Grass nin.

Anko's own looks becoming deadly as she tried to push the dogs faster, her thirst for revenge hopefully to be sated.

XX

Eboshi looked at the Hokage as he dismissed Ebisu.

"Orochimaru, here?"

The third nodded. "Not good. I'll order a watch on the Uchiha, despite the seals, I don't want him to get near the boy."

"What about the exam?" the doctor asked.

"We need to wait and see. Naruto's got teams looking out for the Genin and hopefully one of them can get rid of Orochimaru." Hiruzen said with a tired sigh. "Naruto's ordered the teams to inform the Genin to head for the tower, regardless of the scrolls."

"I'll get the hospital ready." Eboshi said already mentally preparing for the worst.

"I'm heading to the tower once I recall several Anbu squads and have them join the hunt." The Hokage said.

Both shared a look, concern for a certain blond alchemist and his team left unsaid, but shared fully.

XX

(Forest of Death)

"Hold." Hana called and Team Alchemy came to a stop. "Down there."

They leapt from branch to branch reaching the forest floor. They found the remains of one of the Anbu squads.

"Shit."

"Sonova…" Naruto said as he looked them over. He tapped the com-link. "This is Fox to all search teams. Alternate frequency now. we've been compromised."

He looked at the nin and saw their masks and armor were stripped. "Any clue who they were?" he asked Anko and Hana.

"One of the newer teams." Hana said.

"None I recognize." Anko said, her eyes scanning the trees.

"He's attacked the Anbu and a team not belonging to Konoha." Haku said. "What is he after?"

Naruto looked at the remains. "Whatever he's after he needed a uniform."

Hana found the ID tags.

"Owl, Hawk and Pigeon." She said reading the names.

"What happened to the Inuzuka that was with them is what I want to know." Naruto said.

One of her dogs found a scent and barked.

"This way." Hana said and lead them deeper into the forest.

"We'll get you, you bastard." Anko hissed.

Naruto radioed in the position for a retrieval team to collect the bodies before he followed after.

Haku slipped on her mask to hide her face, her hand near the senbon needles, Team Alchemy was now officially on edge.

XX

The trail ended fifteen minutes later, and the corpse of the Inuzuka and dog were nailed to the tree trunk.

"That bastard." Hana said recognizing one of her cousin's.

Naruto radioed the collection team. "We need to keep on the trail." He said and Hana spun and looked at him.

"There is nothing we can do for the dead. We need to worry about those still alive." He said and he hated the words that passed his lips.

He saw Hana tense and finally nod. "A retrieval squad will collect them. I promise Hana, we will get him."

She nodded and the Haimaru trio sniffed the bodies, getting the scent they took off, vengeance burning brighter in Team Alchemy more than before.

Naruto looked at the Inuzuka and bowed his head. _You really don't want to mess with me Orochi-teme. You've caused pain to two special women in my life. And for that, you will die._

He clenched his left hand, the runes on the arm glowed red for a moment before he leapt to the tree.

**AN: Rumble in the Forest, next time Episode 28: "Hand of Destruction"**

**Hope everyone had a good holiday for those who celebrate it. Got a bit of access to check reviews the day after. I'm home and working like mad to get chapters up and ready.**


	28. Chapter 28

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

Chapter 28

The Haimaru trio barked as they leapt further ahead, Hana keeping pace with her companions.

Behind her she could hear Haku, Anko and Naruto keeping up. She had considered pulling the dogs back, but after seeing her cousin pinned to the tree like a taunting sacrifice, she felt rage like never before.

Naruto sent the flare for a retrieval team and now she focused on the hunt and revenge.

XX

Orochimaru was having a decent day. He'd eliminated an Anbu squad and passed the gear onto Kabuto to do his job later on of removing Sasuke from his lockdown.

"This is going to be fun." He thought of all the young genin he could steal right out from under Konoha's eyes.

He had a moment of concern when he saw his former apprentice as one of the proctors, but she showed no sign of knowing it was him in disguise of the grass nin.

He studied the blond that was with her. He'd heard that the boy while sixteen, nearly seventeen he was the highest ranked nin under the Hokage. Getting his file was impossible, his spy nearly getting caught trying to find it.

_Hm, perhaps I can take him as my new body._ Orochimaru thought. His mind snapped out of its path as he heard more dogs coming.

"Hm. Seems they emptied the kennel. Oh well, time to do a bit of selective elimination. I hope this Anbu squad will prove a challenge." He muttered leaping up and laying in wait for the group to pass so he could attack.

XX

Naruto looked at Ed on his shoulder. "He's leaving an open trail." He said.

"Noticed that. Not a good thing, its like he wants to be found." Ed said.

"Hana, hold up." Naruto said and she managed to reign in the trio. "What's wrong, he's getting away."

Anko growled her own agreement.

"The trail." Naruto said.

"What about it?" Anko demanded.

"Its too obvious." Haku said softly.

"He's leaving a trail that even the Uchiha could follow." Naruto said.

Hana and the dogs were looking the way they were going and despite the growls she finally agreed. "What do we do? We can't let him get away."

Naruto nodded. "Dismiss the dogs. We'll go higher. If it is Orochimaru, Ojii-san has told me a lot about him over the years. We need to come at him as a team. He's too damn good to take alone."

"Even for you?" Anko asked.

"Without using my alchemy…yes. We'll see what is what before we make a…" his eyes unfocused and he looked ahead.

"Ed?"

"Its weak…a bastardized version, but that glow is alchemic."

"What?" Hana and Anko looked to see the faint glow from where they were heading.

"How can he know alchemy?"

Ed and Naruto shared a look. "We'll go first. Follow from higher up." He said and the girls watched as he summoned several suits of armor and Alphonse. "HENGE!" he transformed the steel golems to look like them and the dogs.

"Let's go." Naruto said and leapt ahead with the golems following. Ed cursing about impetuous blonds.

XX

Orochimaru saw the group and after he used the circle of power he learned, he smirked as the tree trap was ready.

_Shame I couldn't learn more, but I was interrupted before I could get more and I took only a couple of pages._ The Snake Sannin thought. It drained him to use the small amount of transfiguration. He mostly used it when creating his experiments, but this was too much fun in Konoha.

_Perhaps after I destroy Konoha, I can tear it apart and find whatever happened to that old library and complete my studies._ Orochimaru thought.

He heard the dogs closing in and knew that he would have to get rid of them first, as they were persistent and agile.

He waited, and just as the three dogs crossed into the clearing he activated the trap.

The wood spikes speared into the dogs from below like striking serpents. Orochimaru laughed aloud as the four people skidded to a stop. He smirked seeing his former apprentice and the young man that had the title of "Hokage's Hand."

"Kukukukuku. Four more little leaf nin, this really is a good day." He said using a wind jutsu to try and scatter them, but was surprised as they didn't move.

What surprised him even more was when the nin dogs ripped their bodies off the spikes and came at him.

_How? _He thought. _The wounds…their not bleeding!_

The first dog reached him and he barely made it out of the way. The second dog he managed to kick and he winced as it felt like he just kicked solid steel.

The third dog caught him by the cloak he'd been wearing as the Grass nin, and spun him around.

His palm strike again seemed ineffective as he felt it again was like hitting steel.

He turned and avoided the attacks from the four people, he was never more glad than now that he had the serpent abilities to contort his body.

"Ah, Naruto we finally meet." Orochimaru said after leaping to a higher branch. "I'm sorry I missed you in Rice."

"I bet you are. But we can end this now and you can surrender now." Naruto said.

"I don't think so." Orochimaru barely avoided the dogs again as he used a shushin.

Sadly that had him in front of the Inuzuka girl. "Say night night." He said and rammed a kunai into her chest.

The kunai shattered upon impact. Orochimaru was caught by a hard blow from the girl and sent through several branches, before hitting a tree trunk.

"What?"

Naruto landed on a higher branch. "Aw, poor little sannin can't beat a Jonin." He mocked and used the fake hand signs before touching the tree with his hand.

Orochimaru saw the red light and leapt away seconds before the tree trunk created a mouth and tried to eat him.

His path led him to Anko and she connected with a spinning back kick to his chest. Orochimaru was replaced by a log and he reappeared behind his former apprentice and forming the seal attacked her curse seal. He was shocked when nothing happened, and it cost him as the Anko in front of him connected with a spinning back fist and Orochimaru rocketed away, his jaw aching and he realized that all those attacking were as solid as steel.

"KAI!" he said and watched as six henge's dropped. The dogs, the Inuzuka, Anko and the masked girl all transformed into suits of armor with glowing red eyes.

"What is this?" he said after spitting a wad of blood.

"How do you think I got the name Fullmetal?" Naruto mocked. He pretended to do some hand signs and clapped his hands and put them on the ground where he landed.

Tendrils of alchemic energy spun about and Orochimaru saw himself looking at a long metal tube. "BOOM!" Naruto said and the cannon fired.

XX

"Fuck this." Anko said as the explosion sounded. "I'm not letting him get away just because Naruto wants to keep us safe." She leapt away.

"Damn right." Hana said and summoned her dogs to her once more. Haku followed, disappearing into an ice mirror mid-leap. _Hang on Naruto-kun, we're coming._ She thought her eyes hardening behind her mask.

XX

"Tell me where you got this power?" Orochimaru demanded. He was barely avoiding the metal golems and Naruto himself had barely attacked.

"Its mine by right, not stolen." Naruto said.

Ed remained quiet and out of sight. He and Naruto had agreed before engaging that they would keep much quiet. Alphonse had agreed to pretend to be quiet as well as he and the other suits of armor attacked.

Orochimaru ducked and used an Earth Style: Mud Tsunami to try and wipe out the armor.

Al managed to leap high while the other suits were slammed into trees and buried in mud up to the necks.

"Not bad boots." Naruto said. "How about this then." Ten Kage Bunshin's appeared and went on the attack using only taijutsu. Naruto dismissed the armors and looked at Al and asked in a low voice. "You okay?"

"I'm fine brother." Al said, the armor's eyes were on the battle.

Naruto's attention was pulled as an ice mirror appeared above Orochimaru and Haku leapt out to strike with a long needle.

Orochimaru sensing danger spun and pulled a clone into the place he'd been. Haku swore as the clone went up in a puff of smoke, and she continued on through a mirror on the ground vanishing once more.

Orochimaru cursed as three dogs leapt over the Kage Bunshin clones, these were real and they were out for his blood as he leapt into the air to avoid them.

That didn't save him as he was struck by a very familiar attack.

"Hidden Shadow Snake Hands!" Anko said and grinned as Orochimaru was pinned to a tree trunk several feet off the ground.

"Anko." Orochimaru gasped.

"Time to die you bastard."

Orochimaru tried to figure a way out of his predicament. _Blast, there are too many of them. And I don't feel my mark on Anko. What has happened? It seems my spy barely scratched the surface…_

"Kukuku." He said. "Surprise seeing you here." He said.

Anko snarled. "As was I. But now your dead."

"Don't you wonder why I am here?" he asked trying to stall for time as his hands were performing one handed seals.

"No."

Naruto decided to speak up. "The genin are being cleared from the forest as we speak. The Hokage is aware of you being here Orochimaru, the exam is being postponed until your dead or what you're here for is safe."

Orochimaru wondered how they discovered him. As if reading his mind Naruto spoke up. "You left the bodies of the Grass nin near the gate. I had Anbu entering the gates for the hunt."

"You ruined our fun." Anko said.

Haku was on a higher branch, crouched in an attack position, while Hana had her three dogs waiting for the signal.

"I'm sorry." The Snake sannin said in a bland voice.

"You will be." Anko said and Orochimaru watched as her hands began to form a bunch of seals.

"Your going to use a suicide technique?" he asked in a mocking tone.

"Anko?" Naruto called. She looked over her shoulder at him. "I have to be sure. He can't be allowed to escape." She said, her eyes trying to convey what she wanted and what she had to do.

Orochimaru looked on as Anko came closer. He didn't have much time, and with the amount of opponents, he had to have his timing perfectly.

"Shame its not going to work." He said before Anko could use the suicide technique that would kill him and her both. He slipped form the bonds of snakes and kicked her in the chest hard. He leapt high and shushined away.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Anko and Hana yelled, both wanting him dead for their reasons.

Naruto growled, regretting not encasing the bastard like he did to Hatake.

"Find him!" Naruto said leaping up to where he'd last been.

The Haimaru trio searched, but the Snake Sannin had gotten away.

**AN: The tower and the alternate test. Next time on Fullmetal Fox, Episode 29: "Come as you are"**

**This is my last post until after the New Year. Hope you all have a happy x-mas however you celebrate it.**


	29. Chapter 29

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

Chapter 29

Naruto paced back and forth before the Hokage. "I know." He finally said despite the old man not saying a word the whole time the blond was standing there. "We fucked up. We let our emotions get the better of us and we got too damn cocky." Naruto said as he kept pacing.

Outside Anko could be heard swearing and destroying the surrounding forest. Hana and the trio had returned to the Inuzuka compound to be with her family as they mourned the loss of one of her cousins.

"Naruto…" Hiruzen said.

"Fuck!!! I know we messed up. We had that slimy bastard and we let him slip through our fingers as if we were thrice damned Genin." Naruto said as he continued to pace. Off to the side Ed was hunched on the couch, his eyes watching the blond while Haku next to him was stroking his head, her eyes watching the young man she and her other two teammates loved.

"I swear I'll get him. He won't escape. I just need…"

"Naruto." The Hokage said with force in his voice getting through the blond haired young man's rant.

Seeing he finally got the alchemists attention he lit his pipe. "I'm not upset at you. Orochimaru is slippery and you can mark it as a learning lesson as to what not to do next time."

"But we don't know where he is now." Naruto said. "Anbu lost his trail and the skin he was wearing was shed a mile from where we fought."

"You took him to task. Something that none other than myself or his former teammates could claim before."

Outside Anko's rage continued as she decimated a tree. "Seems like we'll have enough firewood for the coming winter." The Hokage joked.

Naruto sighed and looked out the window of the tower. "What are we going to do about the exam? It has to be cancelled and the village secured with that snake on the loose." Naruto said watching as Anko was using several attacks to mulch the tree she knocked over.

"We need to continue." The hokage said and Naruto spun and looked at him. "Forgive me for saying this Ojii-san, but have you lost your fucking mind? Orochimaru, your former student is here in Konoha and you want us to keep things going?"

"Exactly. It's a perfect way to trap him. Let his arrogance work against him like he used yours against you." The old man said. "I know my student, he got a bloody nose from your encounter. His ego won't let him leave it unsettled."

Naruto hesitated, and the hokage threw in the one thing he knew would help decide. "And when the time comes, you can make him a matched set with Kakashi. I'm sure Anko would enjoy that."

Naruto's eyes went to the window where his lover was venting her frustration. "What should we do?"

XX

Hana returned to find Anko and Haku sitting on either side of Naruto against a scorched tree stump. Not waiting she went to her knees and onto Naruto's lap where she rested her head against his chest.

"At least the Genin are safe and alive." She said.

"Except the Grass team and a Rain squad." Naruto said.

All three looked at him. "The Grass were killed by Orochimaru, the Rain team ran afoul of the Suna team. They made it to the tower under an hour in and had both scrolls, and not one scratch."

"What has the Hokage decided?" Anko asked, speaking for the first time since the encounter in the forest.

"The exam will continue." Naruto said.

"WHAT?" Anko and Hana echoed one another.

Haku sighed and ran a hand along Hana's leg. "The Hokage has decided to offer any team that wishes to continue a chance to compete in a preliminary match."

"Is he off his nut?" Anko asked.

Naruto snorted. "I asked him the same thing. No, he wants us to use it as a trap for the snake bastard."

Anko looked at him, her expression becoming feral. "And the Genin are the bait?"

Naruto shook his head. "No, but it's a side distraction while the Hokage recalls our forces in secret."

Hana looked at him. "Anything else?"

"We're not at fault. He said more experienced nin have made the same mistake and Orochimaru has slithered away."

Anko snorted. "The next time I will cut off his head and burn his body."

"Really? Because the Hokage thought you might like a lawn ornament to abuse." Naruto said.

"Nah. It would scare the neighbors." Anko said.

A snort had them all look up to see Ed. "Like your sexual Olympics don't already?"

"Stow it fuzzbutt." Anko said.

"Or what? You'll flash me your chest?"

Naruto sighed. "Anyways the Genin will be having an elimination round till we get eight competitors." Naruto grinned. "I suggested an all out battle royal, the last eight standing advance. The Old man thought that was a bad idea, as there are several Konoha teams in it already. He's going with the one on one matches to eliminate Genin in order to be fair."

"I like the idea of a battle royal. All those bodies and fists flying." Anko had a smirk.

"Anyway, I told him since they were at the tower, our job is done. Hayate will deal with the preliminaries."

"What are we going to do Naruto-kun?" Haku asked.

"We're going snake hunting." He said and Hana looked up as Naruto held up a vial with what looked like skin samples.

"These are from Orocimaru's genin file. The Hokage has given us access to them." He held up a second vial. "These are samples found inside the skin he abandoned after our encounter."

Naruto looked at his watch. "We'll head home and change into fresh gear, then Hana and her fabulous three will flush him out."

He sighed. "This time, we do it as a proper team. I fucked up last time and he got away. This time as a team." He looked at Anko, "And keep your temper in check. He's probably wondering why the seal didn't work, so keep the scarf up."

Anko nodded and as one the girls stood. "We'll be back soon Naruto-kun."

Naruto sighed and Ed hopped into his lap. "You know, with those three, your life will never be boring."

Naruto nodded in agreement. "I want you stay hidden and watch everyone. See what that detective mind of yours can pick up." Naruto said to the two tailed fox.

"Keep an eye on the foreign teams."

Ed nodded. "Good hunting."

Naruto nodded as Ed went to secure himself a spot to watch it all, leaving Naruto thinking of tactics to use against Orochimaru.

_Well he needs a alchemic circle in order to use a small amount of alchemy, that's good. It means if we keep him moving and on the defensive he can't try to use whatever bastardized version he's managed to learn._

Naruto was tracing an array in the dirt before him, his mind whirling over the numerous scenarios they could set up to stop the Snake Sannin, half of them he abandoned due to the risk to his team involved.

He wiped the array out an stood.

"We're coming you bastard, and you won't get away this time.

Again the tattoo design on his arm glowed a red and went unnoticed by the blond.

XX

(Elsewhere)

"Milord…"

"Leave me!"

Orochimaru cursed to himself. He'd nearly been killed or captured by a team that his reports had very little about.

"The damned Kyuubi brat, where did he get this power?"

"I am uncertain Lord Orochimaru. His file is held by the Hokage himself and no one save him has access to it." His spy said from the shadows.

"Hm. What can you tell me about Sasuke Uchiha?"

"He's still under some form of house arrest, but we have yet to spot the guards."

Orochimaru smiled at this. "It will be easy then." He looked to the side. "On the day of the attack, send a squad to retrieve poor Sasuke-kun from his prison and we shall offer him power beyond measure."

The former sannin of Konoha laughed. "See what you can find out about the Jinchuriki and his team. I want everything."

Orochimaru waited until the room was cleared before he thought about his former apprentice and why the cursed seal hadn't affected her.

_Why? It can't be removed. Only contained and only somewhat._ The sannin thought. His mind also focused on the blond and his attacks.

"He's got the books and scrolls." Orochimaru realized and he would have to study the blond even more now.

**AN: Filler chapter. Plans are made and all the fun stuff. I am not going to go into detail of the Genin as they fight it out. Give a recap. Naruto and his teammates hunt for a sannin.**


	30. Chapter 30

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

Chapter 30

"Haku, Anko…report." Naruto said into the headset.

"Nothing." Anko's voice came back.

"Keep in sight. He hasn't left the village." Naruto said and looked at Hana who had two of her dogs, the last was with Anko and Haku.

"Anything?"

Hana nodded. "The trail is faint, but he has been here. Most of the tracks we found lead to the tower."

Naruto patted Ashmaru on the head. "Cinder find anything?"

Hana checked and pointed. "Again, back to the tower."

Naruto sighed and thumbed the headset control. "Anko, Hana."

"What?"

"Hana says the trail we've got heads back to the tower."

"Yeah, Ember is indicating the same now." Anko said. "Meet you there."

Naruto looked at Hana. "Looks like we're going to see the genin again after all."

Anko's groan over the headset told him what she thought about spending time around the brats who while close in age annoyed her.

"Hey, I'm sixteen." He said.

"Yeah, but your mature." Anko said.

They soon met up on approach to the tower. Anko shut off her headset. "I am only as mature as those around me." Naruto said with a straight face.

It was Hana who spoke up. "So, mentally your about five or six?"

Anko threw a pinecone at her as they continued to leap, they actually laughed and Haku relaxed as she was around what was becoming her family.

XX

(Tower Arena)

"That was pathetic." Anko said leaning against Naruto as they watched from the shadows. "Standards in the academy have fallen. What the hell was Iruka thinking passing them?"

They watched as Ino was carried from the arena by her sensei. "Man, Asuma should have fixed that. He had her for several months."

"The Aburame kid used her fear to turn her into a puddle of goo." Anko said. Most of the other teams had pulled out after their experience in the forest. Leaving a team from Suna, the Oto team and the rest were all Konoha teams.

They watched as Kiba went against the puppet user from Suna. "Fool should know, that you can't lie to an Inuzuka."

Hana smirked as Kiba and Akamaru shredded the puppet and the make up wearing boy with their man-beast combo drill attack.

"Party tonight." Naruto muttered as Kiba was announced the winner.

Hana grinned.

Anko leaned in, "And Tsume needs to find another snuggle buddy."

Haku blushed at this and the others watched as Kin from Oto lost to Shikamaru. "Man, that was…"

"They didn't have a thousand year old Alchemist memories to help them." Hana said as Naruto shook at the ease in which Kin lost.

"Psst."

"What do you think Haku, any of them worthy of Chunin?"

The ice user shook her head. "Not without more training or conditioning. I agree with Anko that they have gaps in their training, they should not be here."

"Even Kiba." Hana admitted. "Hey I love my brother, but he is nowhere near ready."

Naruto sighed. "This is about their sensei's ego's. Kurenai and Asuma both want to prove their ready for their Jonin positions. Kurenai who made it recently and Asuma who came back from the Fire Daimyo's court."

They watched as Rock Lee who was from Gai's team was broken by Gaara of Suna. The sand user ending Lee's career as a ninja by breaking his back before Gai could save his student.

"Psst."

Naruto looked up and saw Ed.

"What?"

"The Oto Jonin. He smells of snakes." Ed whispered. Hana looked and saw the two tail fox hanging on the pillar with chakra. "HOW…"

Naruto covered her mouth. "Shh. He's here." He whispered, Anko's eyes narrowed. "Where." She hissed.

"Naruto-kun." Hana said getting his attention. He saw the fight with the Hyuga heiress and the branch family member.

"She could end it right now activating the seal." He said and his eyes scanned the arena.

"Naruto, he's going to kill her."

Naruto saw the strike and sighed. With a leap he landed in front of Neji Hyuga and took the strike on his adamantium arm, his other hand came around and Neji was on the ground clutching his throat.

Haku was kneeling next to Hinata. "He hit her heart." She said as the medics rushed out.

"Her heart is in flux."

Naruto cursed. Hana, go with Haku and the medics.

Neji coughed. "It (cough) figures. Special (cough) treatment (cough, cough) for the (cough) main (cough)."

Naruto turned to look at Neji and at Gai, Kurenai and Asuma. "Teach your student better Gai." He said.

"Coward."

Naruto looked over his shoulder at Neji who was on his knees.

"Naruto-sama, forgive my student. He…"

"I don't blame you for his bitterness Gai. I blame his clan for letting things get to where they are." Naruto turned away his eyes scanning and resting on the Oto team and found their sensei missing.

"Damn it."

He looked to Cindermaru. "Find him." He ordered the dog who listened to his masters mate and rushed up the stairs and the Oto teams sole member backed up as the dog sniffed the ground and barked.

Anko grinned and followed the dog. Naruto turned and saw the Hokage. "Milord, keep everyone here. We're on the traitors trail."

The Hokage nodded and as Naruto left, Anbu appeared at the Hokage's snap of his fingers and sealed the arena.

"I'm afraid until an eternal matter is settled you will all need to remain here." He said. The Konoha group didn't seem bothered, but noticed the Suna Genin and their sensei looked nervous as did the sole remaining Oto nin.

XX

"Hello."

Orochimaru turned to see his former apprentice standing in the middle of the street.

"Visiting hours are over." She said looking at the apartment he'd been at.

"The Uchiha will be mine, just like you are."

Anko snorted. "So you gave him your hickey. Shame about that. Did he tell you he can't leave his home?"

Orochimaru laughed as he looked at the dog at her side growling. He kept his motions slow. "He mentioned he was under house arrest, and some jutsu prevented him from leaving." Orochimaru said. He'd been unable to find where it was. If he could find the seal he'd destroy it.

"The Uchiha will be mine." Orochimaru looked thoughtful, "Tell me my dear little snake, what happened to Kakashi Hatake, my spies have been unable to figure it out."

Anko smiled, it wasn't a nice smile, it was a feral smile. "Ask my boyfriend." She said and Orochimaru turned and managed to leap out of the way hearing a clap as the ground beneath him turned to metal spikes.

He barely landed before the dog attacked, the jaws missing as it went past.

Orochimaru's hands sped through a jutsu, but he was hit by a round metal ball in the middle of his chest and his eyes landed on the whisker marked blond standing on a cannon.

"Wha…" the ball that had slammed into his chest he realized too late was more than metal as it exploded.

He landed and rolled several feet, the vest he was wearing smoldering, he touched his chest and pulled his hand back to see blood.

He was feeling something he hadn't felt in some time, pain.

"So hebi-chan, surrender and I can promise you a day in court." Naruto said, but the blond clapped his hands and slammed them onto the ground.

The red energy raced along the ground and before he could move he found bands of metal trapping him to the ground that was turning into a metal slab.

Orochimaru managed a one handed seal and used the substitution jutsu.

He landed against the stairs across the street.

A hail of kunai from Anko told him that the pair wasn't going to give him a chance.

He rolled and found his leg trapped in the mouth of the blasted dog he'd forgotten about.

He found his arm trapped in the snake hand and looked to see Anko standing there.

"You're not getting away this time." She said.

He was about to do a one handed seal when he screamed and turned to see the Kyuubi container standing there with a spear through his other hand.

_Where did he get that?_ The snake sannin thought.

"Orochimaru, formerly Sannin of Konohagakure, it is my duty to execute you for your crimes against Konoha."

Orochimaru's eyes widened. The venom from Anko's attack, the dog keeping him still and the spear in his other hand prevented him from using chakra.

"No!" he said. _Not like this!_ Orochimaru thought. All of his plans were going to be ruined.

"Have a nice day." Naruto said and reached down with his tattoo covered arm. Anko saw the marks glowing.

"What is that?" she asked.

"Scar's touch." Naruto said and his hand gripped Orochimaru's who realized the end was at hand and moments later his head exploded.

"And so a legend passes." Naruto said and he watched as Anko used a katon jutsu to dispose of the body.

"He gave the Uchiha a hickey."

Naruto shrugged. "He's trapped where he is. Let's go tell the old man." Naruto patted Cinder's head. "Good boy. Great job." He said and the Inuzuka dog

XX

In his apartment Sasuke Uchiha was on his knees, his hand covering the mark on his neck. Moments later his eyes changed to slits.

"Ku, ku, ku. Lucky that young Sasuke was close or I would have died." Orochi-Sasuke said as he looked around. "Now to find the containment seals and get my new body out of here."

Orochi-Sasuke started to look for where the seals could be.

**AN: Well, Orochimaru traded a dead body for a trapped one. Invasion!**


	31. Chapter 31

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

AN: Sorry about the delay, dad had a stroke and I'm helping my folks. Postings will be sporadic for now.

Chapter 31

(Hokage's Office)

"Well done." Hiruzen said. Naruto nodded, but the Hokage saw the look in the alchemist's eyes. "What's wrong?"

"He went down too easy." Naruto said.

"Anbu has checked the ashes, and the blood found there, it matches Orochimaru's DNA." The hokage said.

Naruto shook his head. "I just think that the snake died to quickly."

"And what does Anko think?" the Hokage asked.

"She thinks he's dead and I sent her home, told her I'd file the report."

The Hokage nodded. "Recommendation?"

"Keep an eye on the teams still here, and send out a black ops team to check the area. Everything from what you've told me, to what I've studied in his file indicated he didn't take chances without a back up."

The Hokage nodded. "Noted. Now, go home and rest. The preliminaries are done and the Genin have a month before the finals. I want you and your team working with Ibiki with security with the dignitaries we've got coming."

Naruto nodded. "Did we get any of our Genin into the finals?"

Hiruzen chuckled as he filled his pipe with tobacco. "Several, along with the three children of the Kazekage."

Naruto smiled at this. His friend had done well. "I'll have to visit with Gaara and congratulate him."

Hiruzen nodded. Baki was the Godaime Kazekage and had told him the Sabuku siblings had been asking about Naruto a lot.

_Well, the oldest the youngest have, the middle child seems a bit jumpy still._ The Hokage thought.  
"Dismissed, enjoy your free time."

Naruto smiled. "Enjoy your paperwork." He said before leaving. The Hokage frowned. "That was just being nasty." He muttered and looked at the mound and wondered if it had a replicating seal on the desk that kept it coming.

_I swear more appears and I never see my secretary enter the office._ He thought picking up the first stack and started to read. _Oh joy, psyche reports._

XX

(Apartment)

Naruto closed the door behind him and turned around to find himself being kissed by Haku.

As the ice user pulled back and grinned he smiled. "Where's Hana and Anko?" he asked.

She gave him a coy smile and with a fist full of his shirt led him towards the bedroom. The lights were out and there were scented candles lit around the room on shelves. Kneeling in the middle of the bed was a smiling Anko.

_Well, that answers that que…_

Naruto's mind was short circuited as Haku and Anko stripped him down, kissing and teasing with touches, his mind made no further thoughts for sometime.

XX

(Konoha Streets)

Hana looked at the place where her mates had fought and won against Orochimaru. Cinder was staring at the home/prison of Sasuke Uchiha.

"You smell it too?" she asked and the dog gave a slight nod.

Ember and Ash were pacing back and forth, both were on edge and shooting glances at the place where the last Uchiha was confined.

She'd agreed with Anko and Haku to give them some time with Naruto, she knew she would get her chance. But right now wasn't the time. Her pack was in danger and Cinder hadn't been pleased when they left.

Pulling her mic-set out she keyed in a frequency. "This is Triple Threat to Kennel Club."

"_**Go ahead Triple Threat."**_ Came a gruff voice.

"There's a snake in the leaf and its wearing sheep's clothing." Hana said. After Naruto and Anko had given their report, Hana had recalled something she'd read about and with the unease of Cinder who had not been happy coming back from the hunt. She wished her dogs were two years older so they could talk, but they couldn't speak until they were six. She had an empathic tie with them now where she got emotions and photographs or images. Cinder kept showing her Orochimaru and the Uchiha.

_And mom says never doubt the nose of your dog. They have millions of receptors in there. Listen to them._

"_**What do you recommend?"**_ came the gruff voice.

"Get a team to the Uchiha's and report to the Hokage. The hunt isn't done."

Hana clicked off the headset and narrowing her eyes walked to the door.

"Hana-chan?"

she nearly leapt out of her skin, before spinning around and seeing the large armored form.

"AL!" she hissed and the metal face that was unmoving seemed to show a sheepish look.

"Sorry. But Naruto-nii-san was worried and since Anko-chan and Haku-chan have him tied to the bed, he wanted me and Ed to find you."

Hana stepped away from the Uchiha's and grabbed Al's armored forearm. "What do you mean?"

"Brother had a feeling that it wasn't over. He said to tell you to leave it for now as the Uchiha can't go anywhere, and if he is what you think, he has plans."

Hana growled. "And he was going to tell us when?" she asked.

Alphonse shrugged a huge metal shoulder. "He had been hoping to talk with you all when he got home, but…"

Hana would swear that the armor was blushing.

"Al."

Hana and the armored golem turned to see the two tailed fox standing on the wall. "Ed, get down."

"No need. The Uchiha is in the basement trying to find the seals so he can destroy them. He keeps talking to himself and his laugh sounds more like the snakes than what he had before."

"So brother was right and Orochimaru did possess the Uchiha."

Ed nodded. "I'm glad we removed the seal from Anko. We'll need to make sure there aren't any nearby when we finish him off."

Hana shook her head as the fox seemed to be looking for something else.

"What?"

"Just wondering when you plan on cashing in and mating with my brother on your own?"

Hana glared. "None of your business how we have it arranged."

"I'm just saying." Ed said then leapt to Al's shoulder. "We're going to go around and check things out."

The two tailed fox and the steel suit of armor wandered away. Hana turned and saw her own dogs were giving her the same look Ed had.

She growled and summoned them back and they went to their scroll.

Stomping away she thought it best to speak with her mother before she hurt someone.

XX

(Hokage Tower)

Hiruzen Sarutobi checked the files and sighed. _Looks like Naruto is right. The spy we have in Oto has confirmed that Orochimaru can steal a body as long as its close and has his seal on it._

He looked at the report that came in from the Inuzuka patrols and how Hana's companions still smelled snake around the Uchiha's home.

_My student, every time we think we're done, you find a crack and slither away._

"Lord Hokage?"

He looked up and saw Eboshi at the door.

"Yes?"

"I just heard." She said and stopped at his frown. "How, this isn't common knowledge?" he asked.

"They're talking about it all around Konoha how Naruto and Anko fought Orochimaru."

Seeing his frown she asked, "What's wrong?"

"We have a spy."

XX

(Uchiha House)

"Kukukuku."

"Master?"

"Come in. stay away from the windows." Orochi-Sasuke said, the voice a blend of Orochimaru's and Sasuke's.

"We heard you were killed." A second figure said dropping to his knees before the teen.

"A distraction. Keep the plans in motion." Orochi-Sasuke said. He wasn't happy. He'd been unable to find the base for the seals and he didn't want to risk leaving without knowing what they did.

"Kabuto."

"Yes Orochimaru-sama." The glasses wearing nin said kneeling before the possessed teen.

"Find what seals are here and what they do. Also find out why Sasuke's chakra is sealed and his Sharingan sealed away."

Kabuto nodded. "He was standing trial. This could be…"

"Find out what they are." Orochi-Sasuke said his voice becoming a hiss. "I'm stuck in this body for three years, and if its flawed I need to know."

He began to pace again. "Also find out everything about the Kyuubi container. All your information was off."

"The only one with access to his actual file is the Hokage." Kabuto said. "Myself and my network have yet to gain access to the office when the Hokage is gone. He leaves and a strange barrier surrounds the office."

Orochi-Sasuke hissed.

"Have you found out about Hatake?"

"All files are missing. The statue is in a public place." Kabuto said.

"Have some of our people remove it and get it to my lab." Orochi-Sasuke said. "Also wake up Kimimaro, have him ready for the day of the finals. We need to change plans."

"What do you wish me to inform him his task will be?" Kabuto asks.

"He is to kill the jinchuriki of the nine tailed fox. He is to kill Naruto Uzumaki the Hokage's Hand." Orochi-Sasuke hissed, his eyes becoming serpentine slits as he clenched his hands at his sides.

**AN: Plans within plans. Orochi-Sasuke trapped, things looking to be pear shaped for many in the coming chapters.**


	32. Chapter 32

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

Chapter 32

(Apartment)

Naruto looked at Gaara. "Just answer me why?"

The sand user sighed. "I'd like to say its Shukaku's fault." The red head began, but the stuffed animal added its two cents.

"SCREW YOU ASS HUMPER!"

"But the truth was…I was angry and frustrated. He was so fast." Gaara said to the blond. Gaara had been expecting the blond for some time, and was surprised it had taken him this long. "I've spoken to the Hokage and offered myself up for reparations."

Naruto looked at the red head he saved not too long ago. "You got mad?"

Gaara nodded. "He was fast, and getting faster." Gaara said in his tone and Naruto heard a hint of frustration in the other boys voice. "And when he hit me…"

"You had a flashback." Naruto stated.

Gaara nodded. "It was when my uncle tried to kill me. I don't know why it happened then, but Temari thinks it was a movement that he did that triggered it."

Naruto let out a breath. "So, what did the old man say?"

Gaara looked at him, and didn't see any judgment in the alchemist's eyes. "Myself and my siblings are being transferred to Konoha. I have agreed that a third of my mission pay will go to Rock Lee…and I will be seeing a mind healer once a week."

Naruto grinned. "So you're saying you're cracked."

"No more than you needle dick!" Shukaku said and leapt at the blond.

"SIT!" Gaara said and the stuffed raccoon hit the floor hard. "I…" Gaara paused then looked at Naruto. "I would like you to come with me when I speak to Rock Lee and his sensei in the hospital."

Naruto nodded and patted the red head on the shoulder. "You and your sister get aggressive when fighting, don't you?"

Gaara nodded. "It's a Suna thing, or that's what Baki says."

"I'll go with you. I need to avoid the apartment for a bit."

At Gaara's glance he said. "Women are troublesome, living with three is hell."

Gaara blinked and understood. "Time of the month." He shuddered. It was the only thing he'd been afraid of when he held Shukaku, was Temari's "monthly's".

"Let's go." Naruto said and stood, and with his foot kicked the stuffed raccoon into the air and snatched it by the tail. "Come on cuddles, maybe we can leave you in the children's ward." The blond said slinging the stuffed animal over his shoulder like a backpack.

"YOU BASTARD! I HOPE YOU GET RAPED BY A DOG!" Shukaku howled.

Gaara pulled out a roll of duct tape and slapped a piece of the vulgar stuffed animals mouth.

"Next time we'll sew it shut." Naruto said and looked at Gaara. "At first its funny, but seriously, I'm surprised your as sane as you are with having this in your head."

Shukaku's rant was lost in the tape.

XX

(Konoha General Hospital)

"Lee." Naruto said opening the door and stopping. Sitting next to the bushy browed teen's bed was his sensei, Maito Gai.

"Naruto-sama." Gai said standing, but his expression changed from welcome to dangerous at seeing Gaara standing behind the Hokage's Hand.

"He's come to apologize. He turned himself over to the Hokage for his actions." Naruto said seeing the Jonin's face.

Lee was asleep still. "They're keeping him sedated." Gai said as the blond came around the side of the bed.

Gai ignored Gaara for now and answered Naruto's unasked question.

"What's the prognosis?" Naruto asked.

"His spine is broken, he's paralyzed from the waist down." Gai said.

"I am sorry for my actions." Gaara said and knelt before Gai. "If its my life you wish, then take it."

Naruto held his breath. Gai raised his hand, and his face looked from his student towards the red head kneeling before him. Naruto was ready to save his friend should Gai's emotions get the better of him, but he put his hand on Gaara's head, all three ignored the muffled squealing of the raccoon doll.

"Your fires of youth burned bright and hot that day. You allowed your passions to rule you." Gai said, his voice soft, his head was bent and shadowed.

"I can not blame you any more than I could Lee."

"Gai?" Naruto asked.

"I taught him to open the gates." Gai said. "If I hadn't, he might not have pushed Gaara into his anger."

Naruto looked at Lee, he remembered watching him and Gai train several times while he was on down time and checking the village over.

Gaara stayed, Naruto after a while left, he had more errands to run.

XX

(Apartment)

Hana looked at the other two. "So we're clear. You both go stay at my mothers, he's mine tonight."

Anko gave a smile, while Haku was still in what appeared to be a coma from what Naruto had done to her.

"Did he really…" Hana began.

"Oh yeah. I don't think she's going to be on her own two feet without help." Anko said with a grin.

Hana shook her head and was waiting for her time with Naruto. She'd been patient enough. Her blood was calling for her time.

"Remember to keep an eye on the Uchiha's place." Hana said as she held up a piece of cloth and it was see thru.

"Aye. Can't believe we didn't check it, but I wouldn't be surprised at the fucker, he is as slithery as a serpent."

Haku mumbled and both shared a look.

"A gusher you say?" Hana asked and Anko smirked.

XX

(Uchiha District)

Naruto sat atop the roof across the way looking at the house. Every so often he could see movement, but the blinds were down and telling who it was difficult.

"Bro?"

Ed sat next to him. The two tailed fox cocked its head. "Activate it."

Naruto chuckled and shook his head. "Ojii-san wants to see what the snake bastard has planned. Regardless the gravity seal is in a place he'll never think of and should he cross the border of the walls, he'll go squish."

"Just like a grape." Ed muttered.

"You know, when this is settled, I think I'm going to use my backed up vacation days." Naruto said.

Ed looked at him. "What's wrong?"

Naruto shook his head. "Nothing. Its just we've been on the move since the day I lost my real arm and got this. And if Envy is right, there's a bigger threat out there than Orochimaru that has access to alchemy."

Ed looked at him then back to the Uchiha's. "The seals we looked at before leaving Wave."

"Yeah. I've looked over the books and scrolls and there's nothing like that in there."

Ed was thoughtful. "You know, Orochimaru with that body trick reminds me of someone…"

Naruto looked at him, but turned back and narrowed his eyes seeing a silver haired genin slip into the house.

Thumbing his communicator he spoke into the headset.

"This is Fox-One. Interrogator, found the spy. Its that Kabuto kid."

"_**Fox, this is the Interrogator."**_ Ibiki's voice came back. _**"Watch, Anbu ETA five minutes."**_

"Copy." Naruto said and looked at the house. The blinds went down and Naruto shook his head.

"Why are you on watch duty?" Ed asked.

"Avoiding the apartment. I swear Anko, Haku and Hana are in heat." Ed snickered.

"Aw poor baby."

Both Ed and Naruto froze and he turned to see Temari wearing an outfit that he knew was going to get him killed as it resembled Anko's mesh suit with Temari adding a sash instead of the skirt and she was leaning against her giant battle fan.

Naruto swallowed as she sashayed towards him. "Later bro." Ed said and the fox slipped away while Naruto was cursing his luck, both good and bad.

"Um, Temari-chan…hehehe, um…good to see you." Naruto said scratching the back of his neck with his auto-mail hand while looking around for escape routes. He spotted the Anbu Ibiki was sending and he mentally cursed them as they took up spots down the way.

_Bastards. I'll remember this during evaluations._ The blond promised.

"Aw, Naruto-kun you act like you've been trying to avoid me." Temari said and Naruto mentally agreed as he knew what Anko and Hana thought of her ever since they met in Suna.

"I've been busy with my duties Temari-chan." Naruto stepping back once for every step she took towards him.

"Did you get my present?" Temari asked.

Naruto swallowed. He recalled the gift box that had arrived before the exams started. He still recalled how Anko and Hana had wanted to "Hunt the Sand Bitch down."

"I got them Temari-chan." He said. The panties and picture had him in deep trouble. Hana had gotten a whiff of the panties and had him tied to the bed the whole night.

He managed to save the picture, but the panties had a case of burning as his three girls had a burning while he was tied up.

"And?" she asked moving closer.

Naruto was saved from answering by the arrival of Anko.

_Things just went from bad to worse. Can I fight a Sannin again?_ Naruto thought as the two women glared at one another.

**AN: Next time Fullmetal Fox, Episode 33: "Troublesome"**


	33. Chapter 33

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

Chapter 33

(Uchiha District)

Anko stood between Temari and Naruto. She looked from one to the other then her gaze went to Temari. "I thought Hana and I told you once already that he's taken."

Temari looked at her. "You added that other girl."

Anko nodded. "But Haku's special."

Naruto winced and looked around for an avenue of escape. He saw Temari's stance change and knew this was going to get ugly. He looked for the Anbu, but they were not to be seen.

_Cowards._ Naruto thought.

"Hot stuff, go back to the apartment, Hana-chan wants to speak with you privately." Anko said and Naruto realized that this was going to be really ugly.

"Um, Anko-hime…"

"Go on whiskers." Temari said. "It's women talk time."

Naruto sighed and did as he was told and leapt away. He looked over his shoulder seeing the standoff he shuddered at the amount of property damage that was very likely to take place.

_Screw it. Anbu can deal with it. I'll bail Anko out later._ Naruto thought as he leapt away, his destination was the apartment and a certain Inzuka.

XX

"Now that he's out of the way…" Anko said turning and Temari smirked and opened her battle fan.

"We can get down to business." Temari said.

"I'm so glad you agree." A new voice said and Temari was struck by several senbon needles. Anko smirked as the Suna Genin dropped to the tiles, her eyes were wide and held betrayal as Haku stepped out of an ice mirror. "You're right, she never saw it coming."

"Of course I was right." Anko said. "Grab her feet. We'll go to this place I know."

Temari could only move her eyes and watched as Haku and Anko lifted her up. Anko looked over her shoulder. "Continue your tasks." She told the hidden Anbu and her and Haku vanished.

"You know, I was expecting a bigger fight." Hawk said.

"Shut up. The last thing we need is to piss off the Hokage's Hand and his group. If you think Anko is scary, you don't want to mess with the Alchemist."

"And why is that?" a voice said and the four Anbu were taken out. Kabuto sighed as he picked up one and looked over his shoulder. "Dispose of the rest of these. We need to get ready to help Lord Orochimaru."

Kabuto leapt down with his captive over his shoulder and walked into the Uchiha complex, he had a prisoner to interrogate.

XX

Naruto landed on the balcony of the shared apartment. He saw that it was dark inside and wondered why all the blinds were closed and the lights were off. "Um, Hana-chan?" he said stepping through the balcony door. He saw outlines of the furniture.

"Hana?"

A soft growl was his only warning before he was tackled to the floor.

He rolled and in the light from the balcony realized his attacker was Hana.

"What the…" was as far as he got before Hana kissed him roughly.

He realized very quickly that she was naked and was grinding against him.

She pulled away from the kiss and gazed down at him and he saw it in her eyes.

_Oh, Kami…she's…she's in heat!_ He'd seen it several times over the years, and on those days and nights she would usually either be in her room, or since her and Anko claimed him they would have hot sex that left them both nearly unconscious and Naruto did a mental calculation and realized that she was in the third day of her being in heat and winced at what the other night must have done to her with what he did to Haku and Anko.

_Gah, why didn't she…OH!_ His mind derailed as she sliced his clothes off and her mouth claimed the part of him she wanted most right now.

As he groaned he felt her teeth drag along his member and knew that this was going to be rough and he had a feeling he was going to enjoy it.

Naruto felt Hana sucking him off, she took him all the way in and between her tongue and as she pulled back she would drag her teeth along his shaft.

_This is just the beginning_. Naruto thought as Hana made him putty in her hands.

XX

(Forest of Death)

Anko sat on the log with Haku before the bound Temari. "You know you just keep causing us trouble."

Temari's glare spoke volumes. Anko looked at Haku. "Did you have to paralyze all her muscles?"

Haku shrugged as she created ice needles out of the moisture in the air and spun them about in a circle over her head. "You said to make sure she couldn't put up a fight. I saw on her file that she's been known to bite." Mental images hit Anko as she heard this.

Shaking her head Anko focused on the girl before her. "Listen desert girl. I'm sure you've got some nice…assets. And you could probably rock Naruto's world. But you're going about it all wrong. You need to speak with us before you go after him."

Temari's gaze remained on her. "(sigh) Hana and I talked about it after we had our time with him after we returned from Suna. You need to know, if you do want him, you have to really want him. Not a one night stand. Naruto's heart isn't like that. If you want a quick fuck, go find a joy boy."

Temari's eyes shot to Haku and Anko understood. "She joined us and is a part of us. You need to learn that we share Naruto, and he loves each of us equally. No one is favorite, and there is no fighting for his attention. We each get our time, sometimes alone and sometimes together." She gave Haku a wink and the dark haired girl blushed.

Temari's eyes widened at this and Anko chuckled. "No, you don't have to share, but it can be fun." The snake user said understanding the looks thus far.

She looked back at Haku. "How long does this last again?"

Haku winced and pulled the senbon needles out. "Um, about three hours now."

Anko palmed her face. "Well, at least Hana's getting lucky. Wonder how the Anbu team is doing around the snake den."

XX

(Uchiha District)

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE DOESN'T KNOW?" Orochi-Sasuke snarled at his lieutenant. "Anbu would need to know if they have to remove this shell."

Kabuto shook his head. "He had no information other than it was Uzumaki who did the sealing with only the Hokage and his team present."

Orochi-Sasuke snarled and paced. "I do not believe that the Kyuubi container is the only one with the power in this village." He looked at Kabuto. "Why haven't you reported his abilities?"

Kabuto sighed. Uzumaki and his team are rarely around the village and I cannot gain access to the places they are while here. They have contact with a very select few." Kabuto looked around the trashed apartment. "No one knows where Uzumaki lives, the few people I asked directed me to an abandoned apartment that no one's lived in for some time."

Orochi-Sasuke snarled. "And Sasuke's memories aren't useful at all. He had no contact with Uzumaki until a recent mission which…UGH!" Orochimaru doubled over.

"Sir?" Kabuto was there.

"There are memory blocks. I don't recognize any of the seals…what the hell happened here?" Orochi-Sasuke said once more in the dual voice.

"All files are classified and I am finding it difficult to move around the village since your body was destroyed."

Orochi-Sasuke snarled. "Get the old woman here. I need her."

"She won't come. She said…"

"I DON'T CARE! Bring her to me unconscious if you have to, but get her here. She might not help me with Alchemy, but she will help me with the body transfer."

"I thought you had to wait…"

"Get her here. Tell our people the invasion is off. There is too much going on here and I am still trapped."

"Have you tried to walk right out the door?" Kabuto asked.

Orochi-Sasuke looked at his second in command. "You want me to die?"

"No sir. But you said it yourself that you can't find the seals. Perhaps they are nothing but a lie."

Orochi-Sasuke paused. "Bring her to me Kabuto."

The medic nodded. "As you command Lord Orochimaru."

XX

(Apartment)

Hana lay snuggled against Naruto, her current urges soothed. Her eyes looked at the sleeping blond and she smiled. _Mom's right, he's a stamina horse._ She thought as she sniffed him. She could smell the lingering scent of Anko and Haku on him from last night. She smelled the scent of metal and what best could best be described as energy.

Her hand traced where the auto-mail arm connected to the flesh how it blended perfectly with the skin.

She'd heard Ed talking to him a couple of times about his old life and how Ed had an auto-mail arm and leg and the science used to bond them to the body wasn't as smooth.

She'd watched Naruto as he grown older over the years and how he worked his alchemy. She knew a few months after teaming with him what he would mean to her and she fought it for a long time.

_I can't believe I denied this for so long._ She thought nuzzling his chest, her hand brushed the auto-mail and was still amazed that it was warm. She looked at the bandages she ripped off earlier and knew that Naruto would be rewrapping his arm and she looked to see a blue eye cracked open and looking at her.

"You feeling better?" he asked, his voice a low whisper, nearly a growl.

She nodded and actually blushed.

"Why didn't you say something Hana-chan?" he asked his normal arm pulling her tighter against him.

"I…I was embarrassed and I don't want you to think this is just sex." She said.

Naruto smiled. "I know. I'm sorry you had to suffer the last couple of nights."

She nodded. "I told Anko and Haku to spend the night at mom's."

She was surprised when Naruto sat up and the look in his eyes was one of worry.

"What?" she asked sitting up, the blanket around her hips.

Naruto explained how he left Anko with Temari. Hana's laugh filled the apartment and she told him that it would be fine.

XX

(Hokage's Office)

Hiruzen sighed as he read the report. "Another squad lost." He shook his head at the news. "Do they really believe we wouldn't notice?"

Ibiki shrugged. "They waited until Uzumaki and his teammates were gone before they struck. Yakushi has been seen trying to get to the records room several times."

The Hokage knew what the spy was trying to find out. He slipped a folder to Ibiki. "Plant this and leave only one guard on the door. Place the others on patrol outside the wall and let it be known we think the team went AWOL. We'll see how desperate Orochimaru gets."

Ibiki nodded and planned to leave the folder and other copies in other "secure" locations.

"We also need to make them think Naruto is an easy target." The Hokage said with a hint of distaste.

Ibiki nodded and he'd personally go get the blond to let him know of the plans.

The Hokage sighed. "Now I just need to tell Eboshi." He muttered and Ibiki didn't pity the Hokage as the doctor was very protective of Naruto and his teammates.

_But that's why he's the Hokage. He gets the really difficult tasks._ Ibiki left the room as the Hokage called his secretary to summon the doctor.

**AN: Who the hell is Orochi-Sasuke asking for? What will this mean for Naruto and company? Next time on Fullmetal Fox Episode 34 "It can't be!!!"**

**To those who know or think they know remember Ed's over a thousand years old. How's your memory after a year?**


	34. Chapter 34

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

**AN: Need to remind the people who are overly critical, if you want perfection stop being cheap bastards or bitches and buy a book for 7.99 (paperback) US currency. This is free. **

Chapter 34

(Inuzuka Compound)

Hana snickered as she looked at the scene before her.

"I didn't know Anko and Haku were adopting." Naruto said as he looked at Temari who was bound and wearing a dog collar. Anko was holding the leash.

Hana shook her head. Anko grinned. "Naruto-kun, you need to see the Hokage, he's got something to talk with you about. Ibiki was looking for you."

Naruto nodded and kissed each of them and looked at Temari.

"Go ahead, we're debating." Anko said.

The whisker marked blond kissed the gagged Temari's cheek. "Be nice." He told the other three and hurried away. Tsume stuck her head out the door and looked at her daughter. "Shagged you six ways till Sunday, I'm surprised your upright."

Hana nodded. "Tender as hell. But he took good care of me this morning." She looked at Anko and Haku. "Now why is she bound and gagged?"

"Um, Haku's nerve thingy wore off and she said I couldn't use any of my snakes." Anko said with a mock pout.

Hana sighed. _I knew being the alpha female was going to be a headache._ She could hear her mother chuckle. "Bring Temari inside and unbind her."

"Party pooper." Anko muttered as she carried Temari inside followed by Haku and removed the bindings and the gag, leaving the collar on.

The Suna kunoichi glared at Anko and held up her hands. The fuzzy handcuffs still around her wrists.

"Those too Anko." Hana said as she sat down with a wince. Haku moved over. "He really rode you."

Hana chuckled. "I rode him, he went along for the ride." She sighed as Haku used several healing jutsu's. "I remember him entering and attacking him." Hana said. "I became more lucid after the third hour."

Tsume chuckled. "Kid's not only hung like a horse, but the stamina of a pure bred champion."

Temari's eyes glazed over while the other three shared stories, then something clicked in her mind.

"YOUR MOM SLEPT WITH NARUTO-KUN?"

XX

(Hokage's Office)

He looked from the sheet of paper before incinerating it. "Is that all?"

Hiruzen winced. "No." his ribs were still hurting from his "talk" with Eboshi. "Ibiki is keeping Kabuto under watch. He left the village last night heading for the border. We know he'll be back, but there is several things we're still missing."

Naruto nodded. "I've had Ed keeping an eye on the snake. He says that there isn't anything of the Uchiha left."

Hiruzen nodded. "I wouldn't do this Naruto, but Orochimaru is an S-class threat, probably Double S, but with the holes in our security and with all the visiting dignitaries, we need to be careful."

"I've already spoken with Ibiki sir." Naruto said. "We agreed that putting lower ranked Chunin on guard duty to the records room would be a better draw than pulling an Anbu with a fake meeting."

Hiruzen nodded. "I'd also like to suggest having squads check the whole wall. I heard Hayate was found murdered."

Hiruzen nodded. Naruto and the sickly Jonin had become friends and sparred, Hayate with his sword and Naruto either with his blade arm or any number of weapons he created.

"Oto, Grass and Iwa can't be trusted." The Hokage said. "Suna…"

"Is on our side. Gaara and Temari are loyal friends." Naruto said.

The Hokage sighed remembering the talk with Gaara and the transfer of him and his siblings to Konoha as reparations for his actions during his preliminary match against Rock Lee.

"You and your team are going to be doing a Hands mission."

Naruto nodded. It meant that the council wasn't going to be aware and no aid would be given. "We're used to that sir. Hana wants the snake for the murder of her cousin during the forest. Anko hime still has issues. Haku feels it right to help them and Temari…"

"Wait you added another one?" The Hokage blinked and Naruto scratched the back of his head with his auto-mail hand. "Um, its to be determined, but I don't argue with them."

The Hokage shook his head. "After the exam, I want you to speak with Jiraiya. He's here in the village, but right now I need him doing spy work."

Naruto nodded. "Anything else?"

Hiruzen winced. "Could you speak with Eboshi, please? She's not happy with me and what I plan on you doing."

Naruto smirked. "Sure thing Ojii-san." Naruto turned to leave. "Oh, next time I deal with the snake there might be some property damage." Naruto shook his head. "I can't believe that he thinks we don't know about his antics."

The Hokage watched the blond go. _You'll be fine my boy._

XX

(Nighttime)

Naruto sat in the shadows with a two tailed fox perched on his shoulder. "He's been talking to himself all afternoon. He's working himself up something fierce." Ed whispered.

"What about the four Oto-nin?" Naruto asked.

"They headed back to a group a mile outside the village. All four of them have that stupid curse mark."

Naruto was glad he knew how to deal with it. "So we need to remove them before we kill him so there isn't a repeat of him jumping bodies."

Ed nodded his head. "There might be more, but from what I could tell they have to be a certain distance for him to utilize the seal."

The two watched the house, the Anbu were further back under camouflage jutsu's. "I keep hoping he'll be dumb enough to try and by-pass the seals and walk out."

Ed snickered. "Squish."

They fell quiet and it was nearing midnight when two cloaked figures came down the street. Ed sniffed. "Its Kabuto…and…"

"What?" Naruto asked the fox. He saw the nose going a mile a minute and the look on Ed's face was one he'd never seen on the fox's face since learning of him. It was a look of fear.

Kabuto and the other cloaked figure entered the house and Naruto slipped from the roof and moved closer, masking his chakra he got close enough to peer into a window.

"About damn time you got here." Orochi-Sasuke snarled.

"Don't take that tone with me boy." The cloaked figure said, obviously a woman. Naruto saw a slender pale hand come up. He noticed it looked somewhat rotted on parts. "My coming here was foolish even for you."

"I don't care, there is no one alive that knows about you mother. I need your help. I need to transfer to a body and I'm trapped."

The woman laughed. "Always impetuous Orochi." The hood covered head turned. "Leave us." She ordered Kabuto who looked at Orochi-Sasuke. "Go." He said with a dismissive wave.

Kabuto left the room and Naruto waited. Ed joined him on his shoulder.

"Mother, I know you know more of this ability. Can I transfer before three years?"

The hooded figure sighed. "You can, however it is damaging and it will be painful and you won't be able to jump again for six years then."

Orochi-Sasuke snarled. "What good is this ability if I can't gain the power I want?"

"I told you there was consequences of the Body Possession Soul Stealer. You think I like staying like this?" the woman asked holding up a right hand that was rotted. "I have been alive for over a millennium Orochi. But each body I steal is weak and becomes unstable. It can't contain my power."

"What about the body of a Jinchuriki? You mentioned their bodies being usable." Orochi-Sasuke asked.

"They are, but I need the demon removed before I can take over the body. Its why I have convinced Madara to collect the nine heavenly beasts. He thinks it will give him a weapon."

Orochi-sasuke snorted. "Madara is a fool. That eternal youth jutsu you gave him was a waste."

"Perhaps. But he's formed Akatsuki and they hunt the Bijuu for me. I'll use alchemy to seal the demons into the new homunculi and then I can start my quest for a new stone."

"You never told me what the stone does mother?" the snake sannin said, questions in his voice.

"You do not need to know that Orochi."

"There is something you need to know." Orochi-Sasuke said, he took on a smug look. "Konoha has an alchemist, a skilled one that doesn't even need an array."

The woman who had been facing the fire turned and snarled. "WHO?"

"The Jinchuriki to the nine tailed fox, they call him Uzumaki, the Hokage's Hand." Orochi-Sasuke said. "He's the one who trapped this shell and removed its abilities. Kabuto has also learned Uzumaki is responsible for making Konoha's Sharingan Hatake into a statue."

Orochi-Saskue paused. "He's also been using the last name of Elric…"

The hood flew off as the woman spun to face Orochi-Sasuke once more.

"ELRIC?!?"

Outside the window Ed cursed. "Dante." He said. While it was true that Gluttony had eaten her, the woman had managed to possess a rat and scurry away. He looked at the face, older, age lined but he knew the face. It was the face of Elicia Hughes. The baby of his friend Maes who he and Al had helped deliver all those years ago. _Oh, Eli…I am so sorry._ Ed thought. The hair was gray and the face had age lines, and like the last time he'd met Dante the neck area was showing decay leading down the chest.

Naruto saw enough and slipped away before he'd been seen. He got several blocks away. "Ed?"

There was no response and he pulled the two-tailed fox from his shoulder and held him up. "Ed? Brother?" he asked.

No response.

Naruto was getting worried. The moment Ed smelled the woman he started to act strange, but seeing the woman had seemed to throw the fox into a trance.

Looking around he clapped and slammed his hands to the ground.

Alphonse came into existence. The armored golem looked around. "What's the matter?" the red eyes had landed on Ed.

"I don't know. We were spying on the snake when Kabuto returned with some woman. Ed got a sniff and started acting weird. I went for a closer look and Orochimaru called her mother and when he told her about me using the name Elric she spun so fast her hood came off and Ed went catatonic."

Al's armored hands gently picked up the fox. "Edward?"

"It's Dante. She possessed Elicia."

"No." Al's voice was shocked. "Shit has hit the fan." Ed said his gold eyes landing on Naruto. "Dante changes everything."

Naruto sighed. _I've got three, potentially four women after me, an over protective doctor with a fascination with needles, a tired old man, and now a blast from Ed's past. Can this get any worse?_

Naruto palmed his face. Al and Ed looked at him.

"I just jinxed us." He muttered and both had anime style teardrops from their heads.

"Bonehead." Ed muttered.

**AN: Dante's Inferno. Next time on Fullmetal Fox episode 35.**


	35. Chapter 35

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

Chapter 35

Naruto looked at Ed. "You're shitting me!"

"I wish I wasn't." the two tailed fox said. He'd spent the past hour telling Naruto about Dante and all she'd done the last time they had crossed paths.

Naruto paced. "And from the sounds of it, Orochimaru calls her mother."

Ed shuddered. "I don't even want to think who screwed her. The amount of crotch rot… and I mean that literally."

"Brother!" Al admonished. "Its still Eli."

"No." Ed said turning from his spot on the table. "She stopped being Elicia Hughes the moment Dante set up shop in that body."

Naruto looked at the armored face and swore it looked sad.

"We can't have her nosing about." Naruto said. "She could ruin everything."

"No shit. But the plus side is there are no homunculus with her."

"Meaning either she hasn't tried to make a stone, or they are in hiding." Naruto said.

"No. If Dante had Homunculi she would have used them rather than endangering herself."

"Unless she's keeping them hidden from Orochimaru." Naruto countered. "From the sounds of it, this Dante woman hates to share power."

"She shared, but she would betray faster than you eat ramen." Ed said.

"She said she needed the bijuu to make the homunculi." Naruto said as if recalling the discussion they heard.

"Or she could be misleading Orochimaru even now." Ed countered.

"My head hurts." Naruto mock whined, and Al nodded in agreement. "Come on, we need to talk with the old man."

"And you need to go home." Ed said.

"Not everything is solved by sex." Naruto said to the fox.

"Sure it is. It'll help your headache as well. Endorphins and adrenaline will…"

The water jutsu hit him dead on and Al laughed before vanishing back to where every he goes and Naruto laughed even as the buzzsaw that was Ed gave chase swearing vengeance.

XX

(Hokage's Office)

Privacy seals were activated and the Hokage listened to the report, his pipe resting in its dish after it fell out after the first few minutes of Naruto and Ed's report.

"How certain are you this is the same woman?" he asked the two-tailed fox.

"As sure as I am of my own name." Ed said. The fox looked up at him, "What confuses me is how long this body has lasted."

"Could she have used a preservation seal?" Naruto asked. After he'd calmed Ed down they had spoken about Dante a bit more before coming to the Hokage. "You said she used to burn through bodies in years."

Ed nodded and scratched his ear with his hind paw. "What has me worried is her experimenting with anything outside of alchemy." The fox said. "She was dangerous before, she's had a thousand years uninterrupted to master so many other things."

"Old man, did you know Orochimaru's parents?" Naruto asked.

Hiruzen shook his head. "He was an orphan we found in an abandoned village during the war."

Ed snorted. "More like Dante left him to be found and raised. She's done that before as well." He thought of Rose and her child and shuddered at what Dante had planned for the baby.

"Anything else?" The Hokage asked.

Ed snorted. "I could spend months with this discussion. Al and I need to keep out of sight. If Dante sees us it could get a lot worse." He looked at Naruto. "And you are going to need to be very careful not to use alchemy. The cats out of the bag with Orochimaru spilling the beans that you took my surname, but if we can convince her that we're harmless…"

"It won't work." Naruto said. "Orochimaru's told her I can do alchemy without an array."

"Shit, I forgot that." Ed said. He had been in shock at seeing Elicia-Dante that he had zoned out.

"Anbu is spying from further away." The Hokage said. "Kabuto has been seen around the tower, so the planted information will be picked up soon."

Naruto hated the plans that were in motion. "There is so much that can go wrong."

The Hokage nodded and prayed that things worked out. _Or Eboshi will turn me into a autopsy dummy._

XX

(Inuzuka Compound)

Tsume looked at the four girls who were asleep in the chairs and on the couch. They'd been waiting for Naruto to return and after hours of talking they had dozed off.

Tsume saw Haku and Anko snuggled on the couch while her daughter was lounged boneless like in a chair, her legs over the arm of the chair.

Her gaze landed on the last of the small group.

_What the hell, is the pup trying to do? Repopulate Konoha with his own children?_ Tsume thought.

Her daughter and Anko hadn't been a surprise. She knew from when they were teamed with the blond boy that they would make him theirs.

The dark haired Haku had been a surprise. In both how well the girls accepted her and how she seemed to mesh with both the loud and brash pair, bringing a calmness to the group.

Tsume looked at Temari. _Another loud, strong-minded woman, just what the blond needs._

She shook her head. _And if they thing they are going to be doing any of that in my house, they better think again._

Ed had arrived earlier and convinced her to hide the girls here and told her a bit of what was going on.

_And they leave me to tell the women, while they are being targets._ She shook her head and decided to wait until morning for that discussion.

XX

Naruto watched from a distance as Kabuto killed the Chunin guarding the records room and spent the next ten minutes pulling and copying files.

_He's good at what he does._ Naruto thought as he saw Kabuto wearing a stolen Anbu outfit approach the Chunin talk with him and then slit his throat when the Chunin turned to grab something.

Kabuto finally left and shushined away. Naruto knew where he went, and went to report to the Hokage that the first part of the trap had been taken.

XX

Orochi-Sasuke looked over the files that Kabuto had finally managed to get to as the leaf and the Hokage had finally let their guard down. _Fools. They think I'm dead. They think my soldiers are offering the Uchiha a bribe._

He read the file on the Uzumaki-Elric boy. He shook his head at the stupidity and the trust the old man seemed to give the boy, ignoring the fact that the Hokage had once given him the same level of trust.

_Hm, never attended the Academy, yet he's ranked just beneath the Hokage._ The Snake Sannin read. _Skilled in hand-to-hand, style unknown._ The Sannin had to admit his scuffle with the blond had left him with lots of questions and the file was missing the answers.

_I bet the stupid old man has left it out on purpose._ He knew the village elders hated the Kyuubi brat, they were the ones who had given him access to the village and the plans for the exam.

_Mother best come through for me. I can't see staying in this useless shell for three full years, I'll take whatever penalty there is._ He thought as he picked up the next folder.

Where Naruto's file had been very limited, the one on Anko had been very detailed.

_Until she's partnered with the Kyuubi brat. Sensei is playing things loose with this team I see._ Orochimaru in the Sasuke skin suit pondered.

He read the file about the Inuzuka girl and didn't see anything special about her. _Just another stupid bitch with a mutt._ Orochi thought as he knew Anko was at least special. _Even if she is my failed experiment._ He thought with a sneer, but he recalled how he tried to call on her curse seal and found nothing there and that made him wonder as well.

_The Kyuubi brat had another girl with them, but there's no file on her meaning she's a secret that only the old man and the team know, or she's something else._ Orochimaru thought.

"Sir."

Orochi-Sasuke turned to see Kabuto kneeling.

"What is it?"

"Message from Dante arrived via hawk." Kabuto said. "She will have something for you on the day of the final exam."

Orochimaru nodded. "Mother came through for me. Make sure everyone is ready. Even without Suna as I had hoped, we can still kill the old man."

"Your plans for the Uchiha?"

"There are other more worthy hosts. I want you to send the Sound Four to pick up a specific one."

Kabuto listened and nodded. "As you command Lord Orochimaru."

Orochi-Sasuke knew that time was approaching. If he'd known about the Uchiha ahead of time he would have altered his plans.

_No use crying over a dead baby._ He thought as he other plans to move forward and took this as a lesson.

**AN: Time skip next time.**

**Thanks for the kind words for my pop. He had a series of micro strokes which require me to be there to help my mom more. I'll get back to posting more than five and a regular schedule when things get some semblance of order.**


	36. Chapter 36

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

Chapter 36

Time dragged. Naruto was busy keeping an eye on Orochimaru in the Sasuke skin suit. Ibiki dragged Anko to keep tabs on Kabuto. Tsume dragged Hana and a dozen Inuzuka riders out for patrol, with three squads of Anbu following. They took out several of the camps of Oto nin near the walls.

The strange summoning arrays they were creating were destroyed and the bodies burned.

Temari and Haku were shadowing Naruto, both believing that Konoha's Fullmetal Alchemist was going to get in trouble in the near future and would need back up. If they only knew how right they were.

XX

Naruto watched as Orochimaru continued to look for any signs of what was keeping him there. He smirked at the simplicity of it and the fact Orochimaru had looked at the seal several times, and he still hadn't located the master seal which he doubt the Snake Sannin would ever find.

"You do know that was a sick place to put it." Ed said in a low voice from his position in the shadows.

"True, but Ojii thought it was funny." Naruto said.

"And the other seal, how you scribed it into the Uchiha's family crest." The fox chuckled.

"I know. It hangs there day after day and not once has he thought twice about it." Naruto agreed.

"The finals of the exam are tomorrow." Ed reminded. Naruto grunted and said nothing.

"You have to be there, at least to protect the old man if things go south." Ed said.

"But I can't leave the bastard unguarded. I just know tomorrow will be the day that Dante woman will make her move, whatever it is."

"We've taken out several forward positions and destroyed a number of array's." Ed said and Naruto had seen the photo's Ibiki had taken before the Inuzuka's had destroyed them.

"I know. But some of those arrays, if I understand the marks properly were to create an army of golems." Naruto said to which Ed nodded. "That's Dante's work I bet. From the bit of alchemy we learned that Orochimaru can do it is beyond his skill."

Naruto knew Ed was worried about Dante. She had a thousand years to learn even more since their last encounter and she had been very old and through several bodies at that point.

"Hey Ed?" Naruto questioned.

"What?"

"How do you think she kept that body of the girl you knew all these years?" Naruto asked wanting the more experienced opinion.

"I think she capture Eli and put her into suspension of some kind. She must have burned through several bodies over the years."

Naruto saw Kabuto appear and motioned for Ed to quiet while he watched the traitor report.

Naruto smirked seeing the rage on the bastards face when he learned his carefully laid plans were disrupted.

XX

The backhanded blow sent Kabuto rolling across the floor. "YOU FOOL!"

"It looked like the Inuzuka were out on a practice session with their larger dogs when they came across the first camp." Kabuto said from his place on the floor. "That had them call for Anbu and they ranged their patrol and discovered the other camps."

Orochi-Sasuke snarled. "Any of our people get caught?"

Kabuto shook his head. "They either died fighting, fled or killed themselves." Kabuto reported. "The Sound Four are secure, as are the Genin team."

Orochimaru snarled. "And Dante?"

"She will be here at first light, and the body has been prepared." Kabuto reported.

"I still haven't found the seals which is disturbing at the level of skill of this Uzumaki-Elric boy."

Kabuto nodded. "Your former apprentice has been seen around the head of the Interrogation department. Perhaps Naruto's team has been broken up?"

Orochimaru stroked the chin of his Sasuke skin suit in thought. "Perhaps. If what Dante says is true, we will need to find a medic. We will need to find Tsunade."

Kabuto nodded. "I will make arrangements for our travel milord."

"Just you and I Kabuto. No one else must know of my weakness once I transfer over."

Kabuto nodded. "As you command Lord Orochimaru."

XX

(Hokage Tower)

"So it will take place tomorrow?" Hiruzen said.

"Yes. I still say Naruto should activate the seals now." Ibiki said.

"And tip off Dante we know about her. We can't." Ed said from his perch on Naruto's shoulders. They had reported to the tower after Kabuto had left Orochimaru's side.

"She is far more dangerous than a body jumping Sannin." Ed said.

"Her skills in alchemy rival what Ed and I know by centuries." Naruto said. "If we lose her here, it could be very bad in the near future."

"How bad?" Ibiki asked.

Ed stood and looked at him. "Suna a thousand years ago was a paradise. Dante is the reason it became a desert. She could do that to the land of fire."

Ibiki blinked at this. "She can be killed…right?"

Ed shrugged. "Tried it once, it obviously didn't stick."

"We would need to kill her in a totally barren environment, where there would be no body for her to go to."

"And more than likely the person killing her would have to die as well, most likely use poison."

The Hokage and Ibiki blinked at this. "A bit overkill." Ibiki said.

Ed snorted. "I thought she was dead last time. So don't tell me what overkill is."

"I would suggest get Jiraiya to be with the Hokage tomorrow." Naruto said getting the discussion back on track.

The Hokage nodded. "Ibiki will be leading the main Anbu forces while Tsume has gathered the elder ninja at this position." He said pointing at the map. "We know we took their advance groups, but the next wave is going to be coming straight in." Naruto. "Have the Inuzuka riders swing around the outer wall." He pointed. "Have the Ino-Shika-Cho original here." He pointed. "And get the Hyuga here, here and here."

The Hokage nodded smiling as Naruto remembered his lessons he had given him when he was younger.

"Have the Genin and Chunin guard the civilian escape routes." Ibiki said.

"The Jonin sensei's will be in the arena, keep them and three squads of Anbu black ops positioned around the arena."

"And your team?" the Hokage asked.

Naruto was about to say to keep them separated and away from what he and Ed were going to be doing.

"We'll be with him of course."

All three men jumped and the fox snickered. Naruto shot him a glare. "You were using a kitsune illusion." He accused.

"Yup, adjust."

The four women stood there against the wall dressed for war. "I wish you wouldn't." Naruto said.

"You and I have to finish this." Anko said.

"And you really think we're going to let you out of our sight?" Hana asked with a raised eyebrow.

Naruto sighed. "Hana, you would be better off riding with your clan for this. Haku-chan you would be needed for a medic…"

Anko puffed up "So don't go where I think you are."

"You could help Ibiki direct the Anbu." Naruto said.

Temari was leaning on her battle fan and cocked her head. "And what of me Naruto-kun? Where do you think I need to be?"

"With your brothers leading the Suna nin that the Hokage has been smuggling in under the cover of night with the new Kazekage's permission."

The Hokage shook his head as he watched the young man dig himself into trouble. _Tsume and Eboshi were right._ The Hokage thought and wondered if he could change his bet.

Several lumps atop the head later Naruto informed the Hokage that his team would be dealing with the Orochimaru/Dante situation.

"Just be careful old man. You're like my grandfather, I don't want to lose you."

The Hokage patted Naruto's shoulder before letting the blond leave surrounded by his four women.

_A fall wedding._ The Hokage thought and locked the maps away. "I think I will spend the night with Konohamaru." He told Ibiki. The head of the Anbu and interrogation department nodded as he headed for his own home to relax until it was time.

XX

Morning came far too early in Naruto's mind as he felt like he'd just fallen asleep. He blinked as he realized he wasn't able to move yet as he was literally trapped. Temari was snuggled up against his right, Anko on his left and Haku was atop of him. He saw Hana was cuddled against Anko's back.

They had returned to their apartment to find it bobby trapped. Anko had thrown a kunai from across the street and the building went up in flames.

The five of them had informed Ibiki and they hid away at the Inuzuka compound while it was announced that they had died in the fire.

_Should make it easier to get to Orochimaru if he thinks we're dead._ Naruto thought and was glad his alchemy books and scrolls were well hidden and safe. _Just means we'll be shopping for clothes and some other precious items._

Naruto winced at the loss of some of the things he'd made over the years for Anko and Hana. Haku didn't have as much and Temari's things were back in Suna still.

Shaking himself mentally he knew that the operation was going to start soon.

"Girls, we need to get up."

A snicker and he saw Ed resting atop a dresser. "Need a hand little brother?" the fox asked.

Naruto narrowed his eyes as Ed hopped to the end of the bed and to the shock of Naruto licked the bottom of the girls feet which got the reaction of them waking up and giving chase.

Naruto watched them go and realized Temari was wearing his shirt and stopped to wonder if that's all she had on.

**AN: D-day has arrived. What will happen? What has Orochimaru planned? What does Dante? Find out next time.**

**Thanks for the kind words for my pop. We've had a set back in his recovery with his speech and balance. I hope to eventually get back to my normal insanity of posting. Until then five is all I get right now and that seems hard.**


	37. Chapter 37

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

Chapter 37

"Fullmetal, in position."

"Cerberus in Position."

"Shiva in position."

"Black Momba in position."

"Wind Dancer in position."

Ibiki nodded as he listened in at the command center as other squads reported in. "Team Fullmetal, you are green lighted to go. Operation Black Hand I repeat is go."

Five clicks came back and Ibiki silently wished them all luck.

"Get the Inuzuka riders in position." He ordered. "Hell is about to break loose."

A masked Anbu nodded and did as ordered calling in the Inuzuka riders.

"The stadium is secure." Another reported.

"Hospital secure." Another called out.

"Evacuation has begun." A third called out. "Genin and Chunin report thirty percent of the civilians have already been evacuated and are in the shelter."

"Ino-Shika-Cho reported in."

Ibiki looked around the command center. "Bring up the village display." He ordered.

He turned as a hologram of the village filled the table.

"Sir, Squad 27 reports fighting near the east gate."

Ibiki nodded. "It has begun." He said.

"Alert the Hokage and prepare all auxiliary units." Ibiki ordered. He gazed at the map and prayed that things worked and for the safety of the Hokage and the success of Team Fullmetal.

XX

The explosions rocked the district around the Uchiha's place, as Oto nin rushed the street, destroying buildings and setting fires.

A large squad took up a defensive position while another group walked the street as if they were out for a stroll.

"Kabuto raised the mask of the Anbu he'd stolen and looked around. "Double the guard on the perimeter." He ordered. Around him the Sound Five stood along with their leader, Kimimaro stood healthy and strong.

"Milady?" he asked and the hooded form of Dante nodded. "Do as he says for now. I will see to my son." She said and moved forward.

Kabuto knew that the balance of power was shifting, and he wondered what his real master would want him to do.

XX

(Stadium)

"Lord Hokage!"

Hiruzen ignored the Anbu and gave orders to b carried out. "Looks like the Gaki was right."

He turned towards Jiraiya. "I have come to trust Naruto's judgment over the last few years."

The Toad sage sighed. "You're not going to give me the guilt trip now are you?" the sannin asked.

"Me?" the Hokage asked removing his robes. "I think its going to be more fun if Eboshi is able to speak with you."

Jiraiya winced at hearing the name of the Hokage's personal physician and he would bet his entire fortune that she was very maternal when it came to a certain blond. Jiraiya remembered how women looked after Minato when he was younger, especially Tsunade.

With that in mind he looked at the old man. "She hurts me and I can't write you won't have anything to read."

Hiruzen gave him a flat look as they went down to the battle in the arena, ignoring the Anbu who whined that he was supposed to get the Hokage to the shelter. "Ibiki-sama's gonna kill me!"

XX

(Uchiha's apartment)

"Time is of the essence mother." Orochimaru said looking at the bound form that had been brought in.

"You cannot rush this my son, to do this would be worse than anything you can possibly imagine." Dante said as she was slowly and methodically drawing an array on the ceiling and the floor. "This is trouble of your making." She said. "I should leave you here for the next three years as a lesson."

Orochimaru in the Sasuke skin snarled. Kabuto was watching over the prisoner. "Lord Orochimaru, the prisoner is the one you requested, we will need to keep away from Mist for the foreseeable future."

"Like I care." Orochimaru said in the same voice as Sasuke's.

Kabuto looked at Dante who wasn't listening as she was very careful in the runes of the array. He wished he had the time to study under her better, but his task was different and it would have to be passed onto someone else.

The young man they captured was named Tyr. Kabuto knew only the basics about the young man, but the fact it had taken the Sound five and Kimimaro to take him down spoke how skilled he was.

_He's got the metallurgy bloodline._ He thought as he administered another sedative to the prisoners neck to keep him from being able to focus.

Dante stepped back from her work. Outside they could hear the sounds of battle. "Sounds like your forces are being routed Orochi."

Orochi-Sasuke frowned. "It matters not. Free me of this shell. I can rebuild my forces later."

Dante nodded and was gathering her thoughts and energy when the front wall exploded.

XX

"We better move."

"Fullmetal."

Naruto growled. "Stow it Ed."

A sharp bite to his hand had him looking at the two-tailed fox.

"Dante's finished the fucking array. We need to move before she activates it." Ed said.

Naruto agreed mentally, but his curiosity was getting the better of him to be able to see someone else perform alchemy and its related abilities.

With a sigh he clicked on his radio. "Operation Black Hand is go. I repeat Operation Black Hand is go."

He looked at Ed. "You keep out of sight. We might be able to fool her that the abilities are my own."

Ed snorted. His thousand years as the Kyuubi made him think otherwise. "Don't underestimate her. And for fuck's sake activate the seals on the Uchiha."

"Shiva, Mamba, Cerberus…go!" Naruto said into his mic.

"Hell yeah!" from Anko (Black Mamba) as she sent the disks flying. Naruto had made throwing disks for her that contained the same explosive capacity as three exploding tags.

They impacted with the wall even as Hana (Cerberus) and the Haimaru trio went into action with the Quadruple Fang over Fang attack that tore down the streets at the surprised Oto nin.

Haku (Shiva) had managed to trap the Sound Five in an ice dome and was currently introducing them to the senbon attack that Naruto (Fullmetal) could hear from his position due to the yells and amount of swearing.

Firing the zip line, Naruto flew down into the new hole in the front of the building and landed with a roll and came up, smiling.

"Excuse me, is this a private party or can anyone join?" he asked and smirked seeing the annoyed look on the possessed Uchiha's face.

XX

(Stadium)

Hiruzen using the transformed Enma as his staff smirked as he hit a homerun swing sending three Oto nin into low orbit that was interrupted by the top of the stadium.

"Lord Hokage!" three Anbu intoned as they landed before him.

"Report!" the Hokage ordered, secure that the Leaf ninja around him had his back covered.

"Team Alchemy has engaged resistance near the Uchiha distrct." The first one reported.

"All the civilians are in the shelter." The second reported.

Hiruzen nodded at this. The people who had been in the arena were ninja using genjutsu, or they were bunshin and popped when the sleeping genjutsu was activated.

"We are ordered to remove you from here Lord Hokage by Ibiki." The third said. "And escort you to the command center."

Hiruzen frowned at this. He was going to argue when the ground nearby erupted and three giant snakes appeared from underground.

_Maybe a tactical withdrawal would be prudent._ He thought even as he spun Enma for an attack.

XX

Unknown to the Hokage and Naruto, another Oto team was hauling the statue of Kakashi Hatake away.

"Lord Orochimaru wants this hunk of scrap?" one said as it took six of them to lift it onto the cart.

"Shut up fool. Rumor has it that this is Kakashi Hatake." Another said.

"I call bullshit." The first one said. "No way was this hunk of metal Hatake. No one can turn another into metal."

They continued to bicker even as they worked, knowing failure would guarantee a very painful death.

**AN: The battles continue. Thanks for the kind words from all. Sorry for the delay but time is not my own. It will get better just hang in there.**


	38. Chapter 38

Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.

Chapter 38

Naruto actually laughed as he ducked under the paperweight that Orochi-Sasuke threw at him. He leapt back as Kabuto came at him the chakra scalpel leading his attacks.

"Nice move you just tried there Kabuto-kun. You weren't really a Genin." Naruto said as he bob and weaved avoiding getting hit by the lethal medical jutsu attack.

"And you're not dead. Pity." Kabuto returned ducking under a roundhouse kick from Naruto. He went to hit the leg with his chakra scalpel, but missed by inches.

"Finish it!" Orochimaru hissed at Dante.

"I don't think so!" Naruto said. "Temari, take Kabuto out for a walk." He said and they watched as a windblast slammed into Kabuto knocking him thru another wall onto the street.

"You going to be okay Naruto-kun?" Temari asked.

"We're fine." he assured her and looked from Orochimaru to Dante then to the bound sacrifice.

"Can't let you free him." Naruto said to Dante who was looking at him, as if studying a new form of insect under a microscope.

"You do resemble him greatly." Dante said after a bit.

"Who?" Naruto asked trying to play dumb. Dante didn't answer but cocked her head to the side.

"So you're the boy that Ed-kun was sealed into."

Naruto was getting a bit unnerved. "Tell me boy, is he still a little whiney bitch?"

Naruto closed his eyes and prayed, even as it was too late as the eruption of Mount Saint Ed went off.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SHRIMP YOU GERIATRIC EXCUSE OF A LIVING STD! I'LL SHOW YOU…"

Naruto's auto-mail hand palmed his face as Ed had broken cover and both beings that possessed the name Fullmetal sweat dropped as Dante smiled.

"So you are free." She said and Ed froze.

"Crap." He muttered as he realized that once again his temper had gotten the best of him.

Orochi-Sasuke blinked at this. It never had dawned on him that the Kyuubi child would be separated from the demon fox and still live.

"It has been a while hasn't it Fullmetal." Dante stated as she cocked her head to study the two-tailed fox that backed up and was at Naruto's side. "And to be trapped in the body of a descendant, that must have boggled your mind."

Ed wasn't in the mood to discuss lineage with Dante of all people. "What are you doing with Elicia Hughes body?"

Dante smiled at the grown up body. "You like? It took me some time to do this, but I'll let you in on a little secret. I've been cloning the body for a thousand years. I was amazed when I was trapped in the body of the rat when I barely escaped Gluttony's feeding frenzy when I came across her as a teenager. I watched her for years as she matured and then I struck." Dante smiled, it was one that didn't belong on the face of someone like Elicia. "She was at her father's grave, grieving when I took her." Dante giggled at this then thought of something. "It was after you and your brother had disappeared…" Dante became pensive. "What did happen to you both, I never learned until I heard of your transformation." She became grim. "Tell me Edward, do you and the other bijuu really think you are protectors of mankind? They don't even acknowledge it. They attack you and…"

"And you keep playing your merry little games." Ed spat cutting her off.

Dante cocked her head to the side. "How did you do it Edward? How did you and the others become Bijuu?"

The two tailed fox growled and was ready to attack.

"Surrender Dante. We can't let you leave here with Orochimaru or the stolen body of Sasuke Uchiha." Naruto said. "Even now Anbu is on its way to deal with the Oto soldiers that are here."

Dante looked at Naruto then at the array. She sighed. "Orochi my son, it won't work."

Orochi-Sasuke snarled, "WHAT?"

"The array is damaged." She reached out and snapped the neck of the sacrifice.

"Until we meet again Edward." She vanished.

Orochimaru snarled in rage and took several steps towards Naruto who looked at him and then slapped his hands together and slapped them to the ground. Red alchemic energy bathed the room in light

The Snake Sannin was engulfed by transfigured stone into steel and it wrapped around him, leaving him in a metal cocoon with only his face free.

"Looks like Dante didn't care that much about you." Naruto said and he could hear the sounds of battle fading in the distance and he wondered how the girls were.

"I will kill you boy." Orochimaru snarled, his voice and Sasuke echoing the other.

"No." Naruto said shaking his head. "I don't think you will. This ends here for you."

Naruto straightened his jacket.

"Orochimaru, former Sannin of Konohagakure by the power invested in me by the Sandaime Hokage, I Naruto Uzumaki Elric the Hokage's Hand do pass unto you the sentence of death."

Naruto's hands clapped together.

"Wait! I can…" was as far as the Sannin got as Naruto touched the metal and it performed like Gaara's sand and engulfed Orochi-Sasuke fully. His voice echoing from inside.

"As Gaara would say if he used metal…Metal Burial." Naruto said and focused his will upon the alchemy and Orochimaru was squished like a grape. Blood and other fluids seeped from seams in the metal.

With more of his will being focused he made the metal shrink upon itself becoming smaller and smaller and smoother and whole.

When Naruto was finished the ball was the size of a bowling ball and weighed several hundred pounds and contained the broken and liquidated remains of Orochimaru of the Sannin and Sasuke the last of the Uchiha.

"What are you going to do with that?" Ed asked.

Naruto looked at it for a moment. "Toss it in the lake and let it sink to the bottom." Naruto said and he turned to leave. He had to see where his girls were and what happened with the rest of the village once Dante left.

_We'll have to keep a look out for her now that she knows we're here._ He thought and he knew that the coming days, weeks and months ahead would test him like never before.

XX

(Hospital Room, Private)

The Hokage was propped up by several pillows. Naruto stood at attention along with Ibiki at the foot of the bed.

"The metal ball containing Orochimaru's spirit and Sasuke Uchiha's remains has been dropped in the lake." Ibiki reported.

"Casualty report is that we only lost thirty ninja, twenty of those were in Anbu." Naruto said. "It does not include the Anbu killed prior to the invasion."

The Hokage nodded. He had been hurt not in battle, but by falling debris as the Oto invaders tried to retreat, he sighed at being struck down by something outside of battle.

"The Hospital and shelters remained secure and there were no civilians harmed." Ibiki reported.

"And what of Dante?" The Hokage asked Naruto.

"She left, and took many of Orochimaru's forces with her. Kabuto left upon her command." Naruto said. He'd found Temari who was pissed that her opponent just up and left in the middle of their fight.

"What can you tell us about him?" Ibiki asked.

"I'd say he's very skilled, high ranked Jonin from the way he's fought Anbu and what Temari reported to me in her debrief."

The Hokage sighed. "I'm getting too old for this." He muttered.

Eboshi came in at that point. "I've told you that for years." His personal doctor told him. "I also told you to cut back on the sweets and fatty foods and to stop smoking."

Naruto smirked as the old woman scolded the Hokage as if he was a child. "So, Eboshi-baa-chan, will the old man live?" Naruto asked.

"At least another twenty years…if he cuts back on the smoking and salty foods." Eboshi said.

The Hokage sighed and waved her off.

"Naruto I have a job for you." Hiruzen said in his best command voice.

Naruto came to full attention, all playfulness aside.

"You are to find my other student Jiraiya, he's somewhere in the village and take him to find my last remaining student, Tsunade Senju. She is to return to Konoha and take up the mantle of Fifth Hokage."

Ibiki coughed on air as he heard this and Eboshi became a statue.

"Are you serious?" Naruto asked.

"Yes. I have chosen Tsunade to replace me. This invasion showed me I am too old to run the village much longer. And she is the only one I can trust to take over for me."

Ibiki and Naruto exchanged looks.

"And what will happen while I am away on this mission?" Naruto asked.

"Jiraiya has some things to teach you and Ibiki will be helping me while you are gone."

"And my team?" Naruto asked.

"You can take one of them with you, the others will be needed here." The Hokage said reaching for his pipe on the nightstand, only to have Eboshi snatch it away and give him a glare.

Hiruzen sighed. "As for Jiraiya, he's your best bet at finding Tsunade."

"What if she doesn't want to return?" Naruto asked.

"Then you are to remind her of her vows to me. Should she refuse you are to bring her back by any means necessary. With someone like this Dante out there, we can't be weakened like we are."

Naruto sighed and bowed his head. He knew what Dante was looking for and he would do as the Hokage asked.

_And then, I'll hunt that bitch down and end this like Ed thought he did all those years ago._

**END**

**To Be continued In Fullmetal Fox 2: Crimson Tears**

**I wasn't going to split this into another story, but it ended up this way as my notes are a mess right now.**

**AN: Dante didn't fight she didn't need to. And for those who think Orochi went too quickly remember folks his stolen body was next to useless.**


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